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rychelereads 's review for:
Triton Vârisi
by Anna Banks
Hey, I'm here because I loved [b:Of Poseidon|12425532|Of Poseidon (The Syrena Legacy, #1)|Anna Banks|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1327879889s/12425532.jpg|17375535]Of Poseidon (book #1), but this was just.... wth was it?
*SPOILER(S) INCOMING*
Let's just rename this book from Of Triton to "Of Nalia and Grom's Bad Romance and Wonder Twin Powers Activate." That's all the spoiler you need, really, that's the whole Novella explained. Oh wait, it wasn't a novella, it was a book, the second book in a series. But it felt like a novella...
I can't review this without it becoming a rant full of obscene spoilers, so the warning is there.
First thought from this book is, WTH IS WRONG WITH MAMMA CRAZY?!?!?
Everything. That's what's wrong, everything.
So far the terrible reviews on this book are all because everyone is mad at Emma. But why?
~WHY ARE WE ALL MAD AT EMMA?
Because her mother is a long lost Poseidon Princess who lied to her for 18 years. Because her mother is actually Nalia and upon being discovered, tried to kill the guy that her daughter is in love with (I don't give a flying fish that they're just teenagers, when mom pulls a knife on boyfriend because he throws a few *TRUE* words at her, and they aren't even expletives, well that's when you pull the crazy card, and standing back in awe at they're supernatural battle that you can't possibly aid or stop without reasonably thinking it will lead to someone's death- this has been explained in the previous book and with common sense, and that's what Emma did).
~WHY AREN'T WE ALL FRIGGIN DISGUSTED WITH NALIA?
Let's just take a look at the relationship that is Nalia and Emma.
-When Emma almost died at the age of 4 from drowning and insisted that the fish saved her, her mother laughed at her instead of consoling her and thereby doomed their relationship for years to come. This all despite the fact that Nalia is of Poseidon, and the gift is passed on through genetics, the gift of talking to fish....
-Nalia didn't believe Emma at all because one she was 4, mind you it was her daughter, and her daughter who almost drowned, and two because she was a half-breed. Nalia confirms this heinously racist idea that she had towards her own daughter in the second book. At least she had the decency to act guilty about it. Yeah, because acting a little humble after having treated your own daughter with blatant racism aimed at her for the last 18 years makes it all go away.
-Nalia gets all up in Emma's face about Galen, while she's still grieving the DEATH of her BEST FRIGGIN FRIEND, claiming that they must be sleeping together because when she hit her head and blacked out he wouldn't leave her side until he was assuaged that she was in good hands..... oh no, let's not stop there Nalia, keep it going.
-Nalia throws the whole "I thought we were open enough to talk about this stuff, I'm disappointed in your Mother-Daughter truancy because you're definitely f*cking and I still don't believe a thing you say." (oh yeah and Emma's Dad is revealed to have been her emotional go to, so I don't even know where this reasoning of we had a great relationship comes from)
-insert all of my ranting from the previous headers here*
-My favorite one: Nalia consistently keeps Emma in the dark but insists that Emma is the only one doing wrong in their "open communication" relationship.
There's only one explanation for Nalia's hypocrisy and that's the whole "I'm your parent, I did it for your own good, you wouldn't understand" idea, that throws me for an even bigger loop than Chloe's death did, because it's about as "intuitive" and "effective" as Al Capone coaching a How To Live A Drug Free Life class in the middle of the smoking section of a casino, to a bunch of 10 year olds. Yeah, thanks Nalia, you are officially the cliche YA/fantasy parent that sides with hypocrisy and senority over reason.
I really need to get off this Nalia Sucks Train, because it's got an infinite fuel tank, but before we move on let's just review why Nalia sucks and Emma has every right to feel the way she does.
-Nalia is mom, mom is a liar, a liar for 18 years; Emma is stunned into silence and inner chaos. Nalia +10 (untrusworthiness); Emma +50 (normal person)
-Nalia drugs her own daughter with chloroform so that she can kidnap her "for her own good"
Nalia +57 (crazy town); Emma +100 (being drugged by a person you trust is not the same as being useless, i'm on your side)
-Nalia is annoyed at Emma because she doesn't want to talk; Emma just woke from a drug-induced haze on a dirty motel room bed
Nalia +111 (wtf did you expect?); Emma +1000 (girl, just run)
-Nalia and Emma share a conversation at a diner, Emma decides to give mom the benefit of the doubt and run away with her for a bit at least to let off some steam and think things through
Nalia +0 (that was all Emma, you got lucky); Emma +999 (good daughter)
-Nalia shoots at woman because she's ex-mafia, and that is clearly a bullet-proof past; Emma insists that since her mother is a nurse, a nurse who shot a gun at someone, she should at least tend to the woman's wound and not let her die on the side of the road
Nalia -150 (logic); Emma +? (I am just as confused as you, just do what you think is right at this point)
-Nalia & Grom show unbelievable sap and only Grom is sensitive to Emma's feelings; Emma has feelings
Nalia -2000 (are we seriously still having you as a main subject in this book?); Emma +500 (feelings are freaking normal, and you're still not spewing nonsense like everyone else); Grom -50 (your name is Grom)
~ROYAL TWINS ARE REVEALED TO HAVE THE GIFT OF TRITON, JUST IN TIME TO SAVE THE DAY? SAY IT ISN'T SO.
So after a tumultuous bad romance between Nalia and Grom, a 24 hour chase of bs, some political bull, and then a whole lot of good-cop bad-cop Toraf, we get to the action section. Because it literally is a freaking section, and it should have just been another book or something, because the amount of relation the beginning of the book has to its end is nada.
Classic plotline rule #climax: lead up to the climax, have it, and then resolve that sh*t.
You can't make everything an unreal event that feels like a climax, because then everything feels like a climax! After a while, your multiple spikes that have no lead up and rising action before, and then no resolutions to follow, will result in a climax plateau.
THIS IS BAD. Because when you have a climax plateau, it just feels like you tried too hard.
This book, plateaued.
The whole humans vs Syrena vs half-breed political drama plot could have been gold. The problem was that it was so immersed in the bs relationship drama, that really did not need to be there as much as it was, that it lagged and felt forced and unnecessary because it was rather predictable. I wanted to know more about how Emma's half-breed status, Nalia's return, and Grom's antics as a new King would all pan out in this already torn-apart-by-rumor society, but instead, we get Galen worrying about his fin getting bigger. W-T-ACTUAL-F?
Then Toraf has to save the day because even though we spent the first half on crazy Nalia and besotted Grom, they are practically useless when sh*t hits the fan. So Toraf brings in Emma, and her fish army descends, then the actual political bad guy of the book (who I didn't even realize was the villain until he was the villain) gets all nutso, and what-do-you-know Triton's gift manifests in who other than our beloved twin-set.
Oh, what, the fantastic fishy 4 are even more fantastic than we thought? Didn't see that coming. No wait, I did, like from outer space, and this book doesn't ever venture there.
So now we're all on a mission to save the mermaids from the humans who captured them, because of course that happened, and now fantastic 4 have to save the day gain. And then we get a bunch of foreshadowing? or just useless threats of death to all our main characters, and for no reason, RACHEL DIES.
WHY THE HECK DID RACHEL DIE?
Because no reason. That's why.
So now we've got a bunch of fishy super heroes, a sad Galen, and a cool grandpa for Emma.
WTH, BOOK 3 BETTER BE WORTH IT IM ALREADY IN DEEP WATER.
*SPOILER(S) INCOMING*
Let's just rename this book from Of Triton to "Of Nalia and Grom's Bad Romance and Wonder Twin Powers Activate." That's all the spoiler you need, really, that's the whole Novella explained. Oh wait, it wasn't a novella, it was a book, the second book in a series. But it felt like a novella...
I can't review this without it becoming a rant full of obscene spoilers, so the warning is there.
First thought from this book is, WTH IS WRONG WITH MAMMA CRAZY?!?!?
Everything. That's what's wrong, everything.
So far the terrible reviews on this book are all because everyone is mad at Emma. But why?
~WHY ARE WE ALL MAD AT EMMA?
Because her mother is a long lost Poseidon Princess who lied to her for 18 years. Because her mother is actually Nalia and upon being discovered, tried to kill the guy that her daughter is in love with (I don't give a flying fish that they're just teenagers, when mom pulls a knife on boyfriend because he throws a few *TRUE* words at her, and they aren't even expletives, well that's when you pull the crazy card, and standing back in awe at they're supernatural battle that you can't possibly aid or stop without reasonably thinking it will lead to someone's death- this has been explained in the previous book and with common sense, and that's what Emma did).
~WHY AREN'T WE ALL FRIGGIN DISGUSTED WITH NALIA?
Let's just take a look at the relationship that is Nalia and Emma.
-When Emma almost died at the age of 4 from drowning and insisted that the fish saved her, her mother laughed at her instead of consoling her and thereby doomed their relationship for years to come. This all despite the fact that Nalia is of Poseidon, and the gift is passed on through genetics, the gift of talking to fish....
-Nalia didn't believe Emma at all because one she was 4, mind you it was her daughter, and her daughter who almost drowned, and two because she was a half-breed. Nalia confirms this heinously racist idea that she had towards her own daughter in the second book. At least she had the decency to act guilty about it. Yeah, because acting a little humble after having treated your own daughter with blatant racism aimed at her for the last 18 years makes it all go away.
-Nalia gets all up in Emma's face about Galen, while she's still grieving the DEATH of her BEST FRIGGIN FRIEND, claiming that they must be sleeping together because when she hit her head and blacked out he wouldn't leave her side until he was assuaged that she was in good hands..... oh no, let's not stop there Nalia, keep it going.
-Nalia throws the whole "I thought we were open enough to talk about this stuff, I'm disappointed in your Mother-Daughter truancy because you're definitely f*cking and I still don't believe a thing you say." (oh yeah and Emma's Dad is revealed to have been her emotional go to, so I don't even know where this reasoning of we had a great relationship comes from)
-insert all of my ranting from the previous headers here*
-My favorite one: Nalia consistently keeps Emma in the dark but insists that Emma is the only one doing wrong in their "open communication" relationship.
There's only one explanation for Nalia's hypocrisy and that's the whole "I'm your parent, I did it for your own good, you wouldn't understand" idea, that throws me for an even bigger loop than Chloe's death did, because it's about as "intuitive" and "effective" as Al Capone coaching a How To Live A Drug Free Life class in the middle of the smoking section of a casino, to a bunch of 10 year olds. Yeah, thanks Nalia, you are officially the cliche YA/fantasy parent that sides with hypocrisy and senority over reason.
I really need to get off this Nalia Sucks Train, because it's got an infinite fuel tank, but before we move on let's just review why Nalia sucks and Emma has every right to feel the way she does.
-Nalia is mom, mom is a liar, a liar for 18 years; Emma is stunned into silence and inner chaos. Nalia +10 (untrusworthiness); Emma +50 (normal person)
-Nalia drugs her own daughter with chloroform so that she can kidnap her "for her own good"
Nalia +57 (crazy town); Emma +100 (being drugged by a person you trust is not the same as being useless, i'm on your side)
-Nalia is annoyed at Emma because she doesn't want to talk; Emma just woke from a drug-induced haze on a dirty motel room bed
Nalia +111 (wtf did you expect?); Emma +1000 (girl, just run)
-Nalia and Emma share a conversation at a diner, Emma decides to give mom the benefit of the doubt and run away with her for a bit at least to let off some steam and think things through
Nalia +0 (that was all Emma, you got lucky); Emma +999 (good daughter)
-Nalia shoots at woman because she's ex-mafia, and that is clearly a bullet-proof past; Emma insists that since her mother is a nurse, a nurse who shot a gun at someone, she should at least tend to the woman's wound and not let her die on the side of the road
Nalia -150 (logic); Emma +? (I am just as confused as you, just do what you think is right at this point)
-Nalia & Grom show unbelievable sap and only Grom is sensitive to Emma's feelings; Emma has feelings
Nalia -2000 (are we seriously still having you as a main subject in this book?); Emma +500 (feelings are freaking normal, and you're still not spewing nonsense like everyone else); Grom -50 (your name is Grom)
~ROYAL TWINS ARE REVEALED TO HAVE THE GIFT OF TRITON, JUST IN TIME TO SAVE THE DAY? SAY IT ISN'T SO.
So after a tumultuous bad romance between Nalia and Grom, a 24 hour chase of bs, some political bull, and then a whole lot of good-cop bad-cop Toraf, we get to the action section. Because it literally is a freaking section, and it should have just been another book or something, because the amount of relation the beginning of the book has to its end is nada.
Classic plotline rule #climax: lead up to the climax, have it, and then resolve that sh*t.
You can't make everything an unreal event that feels like a climax, because then everything feels like a climax! After a while, your multiple spikes that have no lead up and rising action before, and then no resolutions to follow, will result in a climax plateau.
THIS IS BAD. Because when you have a climax plateau, it just feels like you tried too hard.
This book, plateaued.
The whole humans vs Syrena vs half-breed political drama plot could have been gold. The problem was that it was so immersed in the bs relationship drama, that really did not need to be there as much as it was, that it lagged and felt forced and unnecessary because it was rather predictable. I wanted to know more about how Emma's half-breed status, Nalia's return, and Grom's antics as a new King would all pan out in this already torn-apart-by-rumor society, but instead, we get Galen worrying about his fin getting bigger. W-T-ACTUAL-F?
Then Toraf has to save the day because even though we spent the first half on crazy Nalia and besotted Grom, they are practically useless when sh*t hits the fan. So Toraf brings in Emma, and her fish army descends, then the actual political bad guy of the book (who I didn't even realize was the villain until he was the villain) gets all nutso, and what-do-you-know Triton's gift manifests in who other than our beloved twin-set.
Oh, what, the fantastic fishy 4 are even more fantastic than we thought? Didn't see that coming. No wait, I did, like from outer space, and this book doesn't ever venture there.
So now we're all on a mission to save the mermaids from the humans who captured them, because of course that happened, and now fantastic 4 have to save the day gain. And then we get a bunch of foreshadowing? or just useless threats of death to all our main characters, and for no reason, RACHEL DIES.
WHY THE HECK DID RACHEL DIE?
Because no reason. That's why.
So now we've got a bunch of fishy super heroes, a sad Galen, and a cool grandpa for Emma.
WTH, BOOK 3 BETTER BE WORTH IT IM ALREADY IN DEEP WATER.