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A review by elinacre
Why We Can't Sleep: Women's New Midlife Crisis by Ada Calhoun
4.0
Torn (still) between feeling guilty for thinking my life is hard sometimes, and incredibly relieved that others like me feel that way too. Lots of great quotes in here, regardless of how I feel about the book as a whole.
As a mom, to my kids: "Whatever you want to make you happy, that's all I want for you: to be healthy and happy." (p31)
As a person who wishes she were brave enough to choose the more adventurous path sometimes: "...[it's] wonderful to have choices that our mothers didn't have, but choices don't make life easier. Possibilities create pressure." (p31)
As a quiet person who often feels like she's forgotten how to converse: "She feels invisible, but she doesn't talk about it a lot because she doesn't want to be seen as an ingrate." (p53)
As someone who kinda thought it might get better in the next decade: "Nobody, when you're forty-five, is telling you you're awesome. Nobody. Your kids aren't going to say thank you and validate you and appreciate you." (p59)
As a working parent who has missed out on more weekday evenings and bedtimes than she can think about: "Since our own childhoods, the time parents spend caring for their children's basic needs has risen dramatically. [In] 1965 mothers spent 9 hours a week on paid work and ten hours on childcare. In 2016, mothers spent twenty-five hours on paid work at fourteen on child care. Something has to give, and it's usually women's leisure time or sleep. Even so, of mothers with full-time jobs, 43 percent still lament spending too little time with their children." (p70-71)
As someone who's still working on self-care: "You know how to do this already: love when it's difficult. It's a superpower. You just need to use it for yourself, too." (p88).
As a mom, to my kids: "Whatever you want to make you happy, that's all I want for you: to be healthy and happy." (p31)
As a person who wishes she were brave enough to choose the more adventurous path sometimes: "...[it's] wonderful to have choices that our mothers didn't have, but choices don't make life easier. Possibilities create pressure." (p31)
As a quiet person who often feels like she's forgotten how to converse: "She feels invisible, but she doesn't talk about it a lot because she doesn't want to be seen as an ingrate." (p53)
As someone who kinda thought it might get better in the next decade: "Nobody, when you're forty-five, is telling you you're awesome. Nobody. Your kids aren't going to say thank you and validate you and appreciate you." (p59)
As a working parent who has missed out on more weekday evenings and bedtimes than she can think about: "Since our own childhoods, the time parents spend caring for their children's basic needs has risen dramatically. [In] 1965 mothers spent 9 hours a week on paid work and ten hours on childcare. In 2016, mothers spent twenty-five hours on paid work at fourteen on child care. Something has to give, and it's usually women's leisure time or sleep. Even so, of mothers with full-time jobs, 43 percent still lament spending too little time with their children." (p70-71)
As someone who's still working on self-care: "You know how to do this already: love when it's difficult. It's a superpower. You just need to use it for yourself, too." (p88).