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p0laris 's review for:
Change on the Fly
by Maren Moore
This book had so many of my favorite tropes, but ultimately fell flat for me. The following are from notes I took while reading, so they're not ordered very carefully.
To begin with, there are a lot of inconsistencies or things that don't make sense. In one scene she's in a towel about to shower but moments later he knocks on her door again. After she answers, they have a conversation then he's going down on her and suddenly she's in a tank top and he's pulling her sleep shorts and panties off. And there's no mention of when the towel was switched for clothes.
In another scene she leaves a blind date at a club without telling him anything and her friend who set them up and was also there never asks about it.
That same night she goes home from the club with the MMC, spends the night at his place, and then changes the next morning into an outfit with jeans and boots, which was not what she was wearing the night before. She had to wear his shirt to bed because she didn't have other clothes, so where did these come from?
It's pretty much insta-love because he takes one look at her in a party outfit and after knowing her for more than half his life (they're 23/28 now), he suddenly SEES her and wants her and only her, with extreme singular focus.
He convinced her to go on the road with him for away games, each of which are days at a time, to watch his son for him. And he pitched it as being beneficial to both of them because then she wouldn't have to feel bad about him replacing her broken furnace. Ok but he also had to pay for her dad's nurse (he has Alzheimer's) to then stay overnight every time they're gone (and they even extend the first time they're away an extra day), in which case he should have just hired a nanny. He doesn't want a stranger watching the boy or something, but wouldn't she also feel bad about him having to hire the nurse for more care? And now she's away from her dad and her actual job for days and days at a time every week. How does it benefit her?
He's a lifelong manwh0re but they have very vanilla sex the first and second and third time, but she's got a magical vagina that somehow "ruins him for everyone before" from the very first time. [Eyeroll]
She's been in love with him since she was 9, btw, but he's only now seeing her and strongly pursues her.
There are also editing and formatting issues that drove me crazy. The chapters go back and forth between single spaces between paragraphs and double spaces. Text messages between characters were bold in most chapters, but not bold in some chapters. Random double spaced paragraph breaks where they don't belong. Quotation marks in the wrong places, etc.
Also the kid was convenient to move the story wherever the author needed it to go. He would be in the room with them, but completely quiet with no actions until they'd be done talking. He'd fall asleep--and stay asleep--so they could sleep together at the perfect times. This takes place over months, but we were only shown times when he was being watched by others, they were meeting at a house he wasn't at, or he had fallen asleep, etc. We only got bonding moments with him told in past tense, which was also true for a lot of the MMCs' interactions, or get FMC's interactions with her BFF she's supposedly so loyal to. Frustrating.
What I really did like was the sweet relationship the MMC had with the FMC's father. While it's sad that most of it was told in past tense inner monologues, there are a few very sweet and tender moments where we learned the most about the MMC and the kind of man he is. Wish there were more of those that happened in real time in the story.
I also liked the tiny bit of grovel the FMC did. It was cute. Glad they got their HEA.
To begin with, there are a lot of inconsistencies or things that don't make sense. In one scene she's in a towel about to shower but moments later he knocks on her door again. After she answers, they have a conversation then he's going down on her and suddenly she's in a tank top and he's pulling her sleep shorts and panties off. And there's no mention of when the towel was switched for clothes.
In another scene she leaves a blind date at a club without telling him anything and her friend who set them up and was also there never asks about it.
That same night she goes home from the club with the MMC, spends the night at his place, and then changes the next morning into an outfit with jeans and boots, which was not what she was wearing the night before. She had to wear his shirt to bed because she didn't have other clothes, so where did these come from?
It's pretty much insta-love because he takes one look at her in a party outfit and after knowing her for more than half his life (they're 23/28 now), he suddenly SEES her and wants her and only her, with extreme singular focus.
He convinced her to go on the road with him for away games, each of which are days at a time, to watch his son for him. And he pitched it as being beneficial to both of them because then she wouldn't have to feel bad about him replacing her broken furnace. Ok but he also had to pay for her dad's nurse (he has Alzheimer's) to then stay overnight every time they're gone (and they even extend the first time they're away an extra day), in which case he should have just hired a nanny. He doesn't want a stranger watching the boy or something, but wouldn't she also feel bad about him having to hire the nurse for more care? And now she's away from her dad and her actual job for days and days at a time every week. How does it benefit her?
He's a lifelong manwh0re but they have very vanilla sex the first and second and third time, but she's got a magical vagina that somehow "ruins him for everyone before" from the very first time. [Eyeroll]
She's been in love with him since she was 9, btw, but he's only now seeing her and strongly pursues her.
There are also editing and formatting issues that drove me crazy. The chapters go back and forth between single spaces between paragraphs and double spaces. Text messages between characters were bold in most chapters, but not bold in some chapters. Random double spaced paragraph breaks where they don't belong. Quotation marks in the wrong places, etc.
Also the kid was convenient to move the story wherever the author needed it to go. He would be in the room with them, but completely quiet with no actions until they'd be done talking. He'd fall asleep--and stay asleep--so they could sleep together at the perfect times. This takes place over months, but we were only shown times when he was being watched by others, they were meeting at a house he wasn't at, or he had fallen asleep, etc. We only got bonding moments with him told in past tense, which was also true for a lot of the MMCs' interactions, or get FMC's interactions with her BFF she's supposedly so loyal to. Frustrating.
What I really did like was the sweet relationship the MMC had with the FMC's father. While it's sad that most of it was told in past tense inner monologues, there are a few very sweet and tender moments where we learned the most about the MMC and the kind of man he is. Wish there were more of those that happened in real time in the story.
I also liked the tiny bit of grovel the FMC did. It was cute. Glad they got their HEA.