5.0

CUSTOMER: Do you have any books signed by authors who are likely to die very soon? I’d like to make an investment.

CUSTOMER (holding up a book): What’s this? The Secret Garden? Well, it’s not so secret now, is it, since they bloody well wrote a book about it!

CUSTOMER (picking up a copy of Little Women): Is this a book about really short people?

CUSTOMER: I really don’t like the planet today – can you recommend a book set far, far away?

CUSTOMER (to her friend): I only like books that I can really believe happened, you know? Like Twilight.

CUSTOMER: Where are your books on war?
BOOKSELLER: They’ll be in with history. Our history section is split up into British History, European History, American History and World History. Which war are you looking for, specifically?
CUSTOMER: I want a history of the ongoing war between werewolves and vampires.
BOOKSELLER: …
CUSTOMER: Where would I find that?