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A review by lanternheart
Different, Not Less: A Neurodivergent's Guide to Embracing Your True Self and Finding Your Happily Ever After by Chloé Hayden
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
There are precious few memoirs that I read and enjoy, and precious few non-fiction books that will make me cry: both from joy, as I felt while reading Different, Not Less, and from sheer recognition. I read this after following Hayden on social media for a few months, not long after my a conversation with two friends (autistic and neurodivergent themselves) helped me realize and begin to change my own framework of understanding myself.
I spent weeks after that conversation fretting, sick to my stomach when I thought about frameworks of neurodivergence applying to me, of thinking of even knowing myself to be autistic. The longer I sat ignoring it, though, the longer I felt all the worse, and more and more life experiences lined up in my memory to show that what my friends had seen, and what I saw in myself in this book, were far from being untrue. Rather, I think I've probably just gone through my entire life in a haze similar to what Hayden describes, "quirky" and "strange," fitful and sensory-overloaded often, rather than ever realizing that could mean I'm autistic.
I'm not ready to talk to my family just yet, but I think once I am, I'll hand them a copy of this book to help along the way. I know that, after this library copy, I'll be buying one for myself to remind me that it's okay if the journey to self-acceptance is hard, and of the great tips that Hayden recommends from one autistic life to another. (Her chapters on Meltdowns and Shutdowns and what to checklist for to take care of yourself in them is super helpful and kind and clear.)
I spent weeks after that conversation fretting, sick to my stomach when I thought about frameworks of neurodivergence applying to me, of thinking of even knowing myself to be autistic. The longer I sat ignoring it, though, the longer I felt all the worse, and more and more life experiences lined up in my memory to show that what my friends had seen, and what I saw in myself in this book, were far from being untrue. Rather, I think I've probably just gone through my entire life in a haze similar to what Hayden describes, "quirky" and "strange," fitful and sensory-overloaded often, rather than ever realizing that could mean I'm autistic.
I'm not ready to talk to my family just yet, but I think once I am, I'll hand them a copy of this book to help along the way. I know that, after this library copy, I'll be buying one for myself to remind me that it's okay if the journey to self-acceptance is hard, and of the great tips that Hayden recommends from one autistic life to another. (Her chapters on Meltdowns and Shutdowns and what to checklist for to take care of yourself in them is super helpful and kind and clear.)