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thebookberrie 's review for:
Bookish and the Beast
by Ashley Poston
Beauty and the Beast but make it shitty [insert 1492348 pop culture references here] This is so hard to review because this was seriously so bad it feels like a parody but no. This is a real book that a publisher spent real money on to publish. The author got paid cash money for this book and I got paid nothing to read this?? This is the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals. (Sick meme but also fuck tr*mp.)
Maybe we should make this our last once upon a con book yeah? Besides one (1) flashback, none of this takes place at a con anyway. (Not that I wanted a con but it's literally in the series name so I expect what I expect.)
Bookish and the Beast is about a girl named Rosie Thorne (why tho) who mistakenly ruins an expensive book and then has to organize the expensive library she took it from to pay back her debt. Vance is Hollywood royalty but to hide from a scandal and paparazzi, he flees to Rosie's town and ends up living in the very house that has the expensive library Rosie must organize. Quickly Rosie discovers that Vance is a jerk and the feeling is mutual. That is until they spend more time together.
The connection to making this a Beauty and the Beast retelling is so weak oh my god. None of this makes ANY sense. Rosie literally BREAKS into this guy's fucking house for no reason, looks at a book and then ??? runs away with it when he's like who tf is in my house!! and then she ??? drops it in a lake and it's ruined so to pay back the price of the book she has to *checks notes* clean up the library with him for a couple of weeks. Even her father is like lol that sounds reasonable have fun with these people bye. Bruh whAT? Make any of this make sense!!
Maybe this is an issue because of the arc but there were so many continuity errors and then just writing that was so lazy. One big one was Vance and Rosie made eyes at each other at the con in a flashback and then they see each other when she ruins the book but he doesn't recognize her? They were literally sitting across from each other and staring at each other?? After that meeting he's still moping about the mysterious girl then the next time he sees Rosie, he's like omg she's the girl from the con!! Maybe fix that though.
It literally feels like the author didn't try at ALL with this one and was just forced to do it because of a contract. I'm not bullshitting- she really gave us nothing. The queer rep this time was such a joke. Rosie's father is maybe bisexual and then Rosie has a non-binary friend who seriously talks once. That's it??
All of these characters were so annoying and Rosie is the dumbest girl in the world. In the beginning of the book she gets fired from her job that she apparently needed so much for using her phone literally 3 seconds after she was told not to use her phone. She is a complete brat, so obnoxious, and if she came within 5 feet of me I would dropkick her. She literally runs into a dark house after a random dog and for what? She did any of this for what? Also Rosie lost her mother and is still grieving and it was handled so badly. I just want to cringe and laugh at Rosie trying to have a deeper emotion that wasn't just "lol i'm a nerd rawr xD".
There was so much dumb drama about the couple from [b:Geekerella|30724132|Geekerella (Once Upon a Con, #1)|Ashley Poston|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1476734515l/30724132._SY75_.jpg|50652411] breaking up and it was SUCH bullshit. Leave them alone, thanks. Geekerella is the only book by this author that I loved but I highly doubt I would even like it on a reread so I will keep that in the past with the good memories I had of it.
Really, the rest of the book is just dumb drama that doesn't make any sense as well. There is no plot. The epic climax is Vance has a video get leaked of him and he thinks Rosie did it and it was just ??? so ??? stupid?? The video was so unimportant and minor like why would he care. Why would anyone care PLEASE. Sex tape or fucking bust my dude. He was so edgy and emo about the sHoCkInG leaked video and it was the weakest way to make them have discourse. I almost cried because they took this so seriously.
I'm sorry did you want SO MANY FUCKING POP CULTURE REFERENCES??? Well you got them friend!! This has even more than the last book, I don't know how that was possible. Ashley has zero chill and every page is littered with meaningless references that are already dated. Characters speak in random references to communicate and there was no reason for any of this besides trying to hit a word count and to try to relate to the kids these days. (I could go into it on how all of these so called "nerd" things really aren't because those very nerd things are super mainstream and popular and have been for a long time but alas.)
Literally no one speaks like this in real life, ever. Some of the references were just complete bullshit too- like she saw them on tumblr and just threw it in without actually knowing what she's talking about. Endless pop culture references are terrible but using them wrong is even worse.
Also when books have bookish characters that just go on a tirade about how reading is beautiful and magical and shaped their very core and blah blah- I've heard this so many times and the exact same thing too. Where do you think we are right now? Who do you think you are talking to? I'm never going to see a character that likes books and references random fandom shit that I may or may not like and go "omg I love this character so muCH". It's such a cheap way to try to get the reader to relate to your basic character that has nothing else and I don't want it. Liking books and "nerd" things is not a personality trait, send tweet.
But I'm not the targeted audience and I've ranted enough, good night.
Maybe we should make this our last once upon a con book yeah? Besides one (1) flashback, none of this takes place at a con anyway. (Not that I wanted a con but it's literally in the series name so I expect what I expect.)
Bookish and the Beast is about a girl named Rosie Thorne (why tho) who mistakenly ruins an expensive book and then has to organize the expensive library she took it from to pay back her debt. Vance is Hollywood royalty but to hide from a scandal and paparazzi, he flees to Rosie's town and ends up living in the very house that has the expensive library Rosie must organize. Quickly Rosie discovers that Vance is a jerk and the feeling is mutual. That is until they spend more time together.
The connection to making this a Beauty and the Beast retelling is so weak oh my god. None of this makes ANY sense. Rosie literally BREAKS into this guy's fucking house for no reason, looks at a book and then ??? runs away with it when he's like who tf is in my house!! and then she ??? drops it in a lake and it's ruined so to pay back the price of the book she has to *checks notes* clean up the library with him for a couple of weeks. Even her father is like lol that sounds reasonable have fun with these people bye. Bruh whAT? Make any of this make sense!!
Maybe this is an issue because of the arc but there were so many continuity errors and then just writing that was so lazy. One big one was Vance and Rosie made eyes at each other at the con in a flashback and then they see each other when she ruins the book but he doesn't recognize her? They were literally sitting across from each other and staring at each other?? After that meeting he's still moping about the mysterious girl then the next time he sees Rosie, he's like omg she's the girl from the con!! Maybe fix that though.
It literally feels like the author didn't try at ALL with this one and was just forced to do it because of a contract. I'm not bullshitting- she really gave us nothing. The queer rep this time was such a joke. Rosie's father is maybe bisexual and then Rosie has a non-binary friend who seriously talks once. That's it??
All of these characters were so annoying and Rosie is the dumbest girl in the world. In the beginning of the book she gets fired from her job that she apparently needed so much for using her phone literally 3 seconds after she was told not to use her phone. She is a complete brat, so obnoxious, and if she came within 5 feet of me I would dropkick her. She literally runs into a dark house after a random dog and for what? She did any of this for what? Also Rosie lost her mother and is still grieving and it was handled so badly. I just want to cringe and laugh at Rosie trying to have a deeper emotion that wasn't just "lol i'm a nerd rawr xD".
There was so much dumb drama about the couple from [b:Geekerella|30724132|Geekerella (Once Upon a Con, #1)|Ashley Poston|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1476734515l/30724132._SY75_.jpg|50652411] breaking up and it was SUCH bullshit.
Spoiler
There is news they broke up, we never see them until the end then they are back together and we literally get nothing from that. What was the POINT then.Really, the rest of the book is just dumb drama that doesn't make any sense as well. There is no plot. The epic climax is Vance has a video get leaked of him and he thinks Rosie did it and it was just ??? so ??? stupid?? The video was so unimportant and minor like why would he care. Why would anyone care PLEASE. Sex tape or fucking bust my dude. He was so edgy and emo about the sHoCkInG leaked video and it was the weakest way to make them have discourse. I almost cried because they took this so seriously.
I'm sorry did you want SO MANY FUCKING POP CULTURE REFERENCES??? Well you got them friend!! This has even more than the last book, I don't know how that was possible. Ashley has zero chill and every page is littered with meaningless references that are already dated. Characters speak in random references to communicate and there was no reason for any of this besides trying to hit a word count and to try to relate to the kids these days. (I could go into it on how all of these so called "nerd" things really aren't because those very nerd things are super mainstream and popular and have been for a long time but alas.)
Literally no one speaks like this in real life, ever. Some of the references were just complete bullshit too- like she saw them on tumblr and just threw it in without actually knowing what she's talking about. Endless pop culture references are terrible but using them wrong is even worse.
Also when books have bookish characters that just go on a tirade about how reading is beautiful and magical and shaped their very core and blah blah- I've heard this so many times and the exact same thing too. Where do you think we are right now? Who do you think you are talking to? I'm never going to see a character that likes books and references random fandom shit that I may or may not like and go "omg I love this character so muCH". It's such a cheap way to try to get the reader to relate to your basic character that has nothing else and I don't want it. Liking books and "nerd" things is not a personality trait, send tweet.
But I'm not the targeted audience and I've ranted enough, good night.