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A review by sarah42783
The Mammoth Book of Paranormal Romance: Volumes 1 and 2 by Trisha Telep
4.0
Before you Little Barnacles freak the fish out, let's make something real clear here: the only reason this delightful collection of *shudders preemptively* Bloody Shrimping Paranormal Romances (BSPNR™) *starts convulsing a tiny little bit* was added to my shelves is because it features an Ilona Andrews story. You didn't really think I'd willingly read 500+ pages of paranormally romantic crap stuff, did you now? I mean, the mere thought of this anthology being in a 30,568-mile radius of Glen Cook, Craig Shaefer, Richard Kadrey and their most wondrous colleagues kind sorta makes me feel like this:
Also, I'm pretty sure my bookshelves would have done the Spontaneous Combustion Thingie (SCT™), hadn't been for Ilona Andrews' presence in this enchanting collection of most charming suicide-inducing tales.
Anywayyyyyy, this is about Grace of Small Magics and stuff. By Ilona Andrews and stuff ← this in case you didn't know. And now is the time for you to be glad and rejoice, because I won't write a full crappy non review for this story because this happens to be a reread and because I already wrote some pathetic excuse for something not even remotely resembling a crappy non reviewand because I feel lazy as fish today. This doesn't mean the thing I'm about to write won't be longer than the story it's supposed to non-review, though.
» Sooooo, the moralsssss of this reread are :
➘ My tolerance for romanticcrap stuff was obviously higher back in the days when I was a puny human. Because, let me tell you, the lovey dovey crap stuff is strong in this one. And if I had to be honest 
➘ This world is pretty cool and stuff. There are super powerful clans/families with different magic abilities, which kinda sorta reminded me oftactile tactile tactile Hidden Legacy, which is kinda sorta never a bad thing. Because tactile tactile tactile reasons.
➘ Invertebrates are at their friendliest and cuddliest and fluffiest when in XXL size. Theirserrated lovely teeth might slightly chop graze your arm off, but it's just a display of affectionate kindness on their part. Yeah, these cordial little critters are positively chummy like that.
Oops. You'll have to excuse Howie, he hasn't been feeling quite himself lately. Not sure why. Maybe it has to do with digestive problems and stuff.
➘ Revenants and bodysnatchers and abominations and aberrations are yum and a little hot and quite possibly High Quality Harem Material (HQHM™). Especially when they grow wings and stuff.
➘ Hacking at things and being slightly drenched in blood is the bestest and most entertaining hobby ever.
➘ Thou shalt not, under no circumstance, trust the Andrews when they tell you their heroine is the Supposedly Lame Underdog with Super Little Magic (SLUwSLM™) type. No, thou shalt not. Because these two wouldn't know how to do a Pathetically Weak, Me-No-Kick-Ass Female Character (PWMNKAFC™) even if they tried ridiculously hard. Yep, these two are so hopelessly hopeless, they can't even do a kiddie PWMKNAFC™. *waves at Little Helen and stuff*
➽ And the moral of the morals of this reread is: should the Wicked Authorlords decide to write a novella/full-length story/series/whatever set in this world, there's a slight chance I might perhaps be interested in reading it. Maybe. Provided96.5% some of the romantic crap stuff was cut. Obviously.
[Original review]
Friendly Warning: I wrote this during my previous life as an underage, unalcoholified, ungloriouslynefarious puny human. You're welcome.
More! More! I want more! I think this is possibly the best Andrews short story I have read so far. Ilona, Gordon, we have to talk. Seriously. You cannot, I repeat, you cannot, leave this story as it is. It has too much potential. This is a series waiting to happen!
I love Grace, Nassar, the blood debt, the clans, their world, the arbitration… everything! I was drawn into the story from the first page and just couldn’t put it down. It finished much too soon and now I want to know what happens next! The Andrews did tie things up nicely at the end of the story but it just isn’t enough for me! I. Want. More.
I rest my case.
Also, I'm pretty sure my bookshelves would have done the Spontaneous Combustion Thingie (SCT™), hadn't been for Ilona Andrews' presence in this enchanting collection of most charming suicide-inducing tales.
Anywayyyyyy, this is about Grace of Small Magics and stuff. By Ilona Andrews and stuff ← this in case you didn't know. And now is the time for you to be glad and rejoice, because I won't write a full crappy non review for this story because this happens to be a reread and because I already wrote some pathetic excuse for something not even remotely resembling a crappy non review
» Sooooo, the moralsssss of this reread are :
➘ My tolerance for romantic
➘ This world is pretty cool and stuff. There are super powerful clans/families with different magic abilities, which kinda sorta reminded me of
➘ Invertebrates are at their friendliest and cuddliest and fluffiest when in XXL size. Their
Oops. You'll have to excuse Howie, he hasn't been feeling quite himself lately. Not sure why. Maybe it has to do with digestive problems and stuff.
➘ Revenants and bodysnatchers and abominations and aberrations are yum and a little hot and quite possibly High Quality Harem Material (HQHM™). Especially when they grow wings and stuff.
➘ Hacking at things and being slightly drenched in blood is the bestest and most entertaining hobby ever.
➘ Thou shalt not, under no circumstance, trust the Andrews when they tell you their heroine is the Supposedly Lame Underdog with Super Little Magic (SLUwSLM™) type. No, thou shalt not. Because these two wouldn't know how to do a Pathetically Weak, Me-No-Kick-Ass Female Character (PWMNKAFC™) even if they tried ridiculously hard. Yep, these two are so hopelessly hopeless, they can't even do a kiddie PWMKNAFC™. *waves at Little Helen and stuff*
➽ And the moral of the morals of this reread is: should the Wicked Authorlords decide to write a novella/full-length story/series/whatever set in this world, there's a slight chance I might perhaps be interested in reading it. Maybe. Provided
[Original review]
More! More! I want more! I think this is possibly the best Andrews short story I have read so far. Ilona, Gordon, we have to talk. Seriously. You cannot, I repeat, you cannot, leave this story as it is. It has too much potential. This is a series waiting to happen!
I love Grace, Nassar, the blood debt, the clans, their world, the arbitration… everything! I was drawn into the story from the first page and just couldn’t put it down. It finished much too soon and now I want to know what happens next! The Andrews did tie things up nicely at the end of the story but it just isn’t enough for me! I. Want. More.
I rest my case.