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corgimuffins 's review for:
Clear and Muddy Loss of Love
by 请君莫笑
“a question to the world, what love is, to make death more appealing than life alone.”
this is by far the best book i’ve read this year and the longest book i’ve ever read. i truly don’t think anything can top it. this is truly my best read of 2021. i went into this book only knowing a few things. i knew this story was long, it was sapphic enemies to lovers, and it had a great political intrigue. i had also heard it was a good story. i came into this story with high expectations and they were met and exceeded.
the rest of this is just going to be me gushing about this book, so let’s get into it.
the story takes place over the course of almost 4 decades, i believe. the main story, though, takes place over the course of about ~15 years. the main story begins when qi yan is 18 and jingnu is 14.
➻ the main characters are qi yan, also known as qiyan agula, and nangong jingnu.
qi yan is one of the best morally gray characters i’ve ever had the pleasure to read about. she has been through so much. qi yan is, without a doubt, extremely intelligent. whenever she came up with a plan or explains something, it was brilliant. there’s no other way to put it. i loved seeing qi yan’s growth. at first, she was only focused on revenge and was rather indifferent (towards jingnu), but slowly she came to love jingnu and not only be focused on revenge. she did struggle between revenge and her love towards jingnu a lot (to put it badly), though, and it did hurt my heart. but, again, the author did a brilliant job of writing qi yan as a three dimensional, complex, and morally gray character.
now, nangong jingnu. at the beginning of the main story, she was 14. she was also somewhat immature. i didn’t dislike her, but she was rather spoiled. i couldn’t help but like her, though. seeing her growth over the course of a decade+ though, was amazing. her character arc was marvelous and (spoiler warning for the rest of the sentence) i enjoyed seeing her grow from the spoiled legitimate princess to a wonderful leader and ruler. (end of spoiler warning.) jingnu is also complicated. she isn’t purely good or bad and while there were somethings she did i don’t agree with, i still love her as a character. she is a three dimensional character who is complex so, overall, i enjoyed reading about her.
➻ next i just want to talk about their love for each other.
“to be able to marry you was the most wonderful thing that had happened to me ever since i came to the wei kingdom.”
“do you remember? i had once worn a groom’s robe to kneel before you, requesting your hand in marriage.”
“for that one moment, qi yan thought: to get such a wife, i’d die a willing death.”
“did you know: i wish to grow old with you, to give you all the best things in this world.”
qi yan and jingnu’s love for each other is honestly just breathtaking. they had their ups and downs (some of which tore my heart in two), but they still love each other despite everything. i loved seeing the “i’ll put you before the world” dynamic, but that wasn’t always the case because, again, qi yan and jingnu are complex characters. i really wish i had more to say beyond that, but their love is just so goddamn gorgeous, to put it simply.
➻ i loved a few of the side characters. and by that i mean xiao-die, nangong shunu, and nangong sunu. jiya was also an interesting character.
➻ overall, if you’re looking for a long and good read, read it. there is a lot of angst and political intrigue. qi yan and jingnu ultimately get a happy ending (even though i didn’t think it would happen at times). this is by far my best read of 2021. the main characters are complex and interesting, their love for each other is gorgeous, jingnu’s growth was beautiful, and qi yan’s one of the best morally gray characters i’ve ever read about.
➻ edit, march 31, 2021: after thinking it over for a week, there was one single problem i had with this book. the last 15-20 chapters were pretty rushed. the entire book is evenly paced, if a bit slow at times (to be fair it is 1 million words). the last 20 or so chapters, though, felt like the author was tying everything up too rapidly. the author tried to do too much in 200 pages. that normally would bring my rating down half a star or a star, but the other 2500 pages were marvelous, so i’m not letting it impact my rating or overall feelings towards the book. just something i’d like to keep in mind.
➻ original review: march 25, 2021
this is by far the best book i’ve read this year and the longest book i’ve ever read. i truly don’t think anything can top it. this is truly my best read of 2021. i went into this book only knowing a few things. i knew this story was long, it was sapphic enemies to lovers, and it had a great political intrigue. i had also heard it was a good story. i came into this story with high expectations and they were met and exceeded.
the rest of this is just going to be me gushing about this book, so let’s get into it.
the story takes place over the course of almost 4 decades, i believe. the main story, though, takes place over the course of about ~15 years. the main story begins when qi yan is 18 and jingnu is 14.
➻ the main characters are qi yan, also known as qiyan agula, and nangong jingnu.
qi yan is one of the best morally gray characters i’ve ever had the pleasure to read about. she has been through so much. qi yan is, without a doubt, extremely intelligent. whenever she came up with a plan or explains something, it was brilliant. there’s no other way to put it. i loved seeing qi yan’s growth. at first, she was only focused on revenge and was rather indifferent (towards jingnu), but slowly she came to love jingnu and not only be focused on revenge. she did struggle between revenge and her love towards jingnu a lot (to put it badly), though, and it did hurt my heart. but, again, the author did a brilliant job of writing qi yan as a three dimensional, complex, and morally gray character.
now, nangong jingnu. at the beginning of the main story, she was 14. she was also somewhat immature. i didn’t dislike her, but she was rather spoiled. i couldn’t help but like her, though. seeing her growth over the course of a decade+ though, was amazing. her character arc was marvelous and (spoiler warning for the rest of the sentence) i enjoyed seeing her grow from the spoiled legitimate princess to a wonderful leader and ruler. (end of spoiler warning.) jingnu is also complicated. she isn’t purely good or bad and while there were somethings she did i don’t agree with, i still love her as a character. she is a three dimensional character who is complex so, overall, i enjoyed reading about her.
➻ next i just want to talk about their love for each other.
“to be able to marry you was the most wonderful thing that had happened to me ever since i came to the wei kingdom.”
“do you remember? i had once worn a groom’s robe to kneel before you, requesting your hand in marriage.”
“for that one moment, qi yan thought: to get such a wife, i’d die a willing death.”
“did you know: i wish to grow old with you, to give you all the best things in this world.”
qi yan and jingnu’s love for each other is honestly just breathtaking. they had their ups and downs (some of which tore my heart in two), but they still love each other despite everything. i loved seeing the “i’ll put you before the world” dynamic, but that wasn’t always the case because, again, qi yan and jingnu are complex characters. i really wish i had more to say beyond that, but their love is just so goddamn gorgeous, to put it simply.
➻ i loved a few of the side characters. and by that i mean xiao-die, nangong shunu, and nangong sunu. jiya was also an interesting character.
➻ overall, if you’re looking for a long and good read, read it. there is a lot of angst and political intrigue. qi yan and jingnu ultimately get a happy ending (even though i didn’t think it would happen at times). this is by far my best read of 2021. the main characters are complex and interesting, their love for each other is gorgeous, jingnu’s growth was beautiful, and qi yan’s one of the best morally gray characters i’ve ever read about.
➻ edit, march 31, 2021: after thinking it over for a week, there was one single problem i had with this book. the last 15-20 chapters were pretty rushed. the entire book is evenly paced, if a bit slow at times (to be fair it is 1 million words). the last 20 or so chapters, though, felt like the author was tying everything up too rapidly. the author tried to do too much in 200 pages. that normally would bring my rating down half a star or a star, but the other 2500 pages were marvelous, so i’m not letting it impact my rating or overall feelings towards the book. just something i’d like to keep in mind.
➻ original review: march 25, 2021