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stoelm 's review for:
Hemingway in Love: His Own Story
by A.E. Hotchner
"Hadley's terse, stark letter, giving up on me, made me feel her pain, her exclusion, the loss I had inflicted on her, and my thoughts became very concerned about my soul" (108). The premise of this book is that Hemingway's six year marriage to first wife Hadley Richardson (immortalized in Paula McLain's beautifully written historical fiction novel "The Paris Wife") was the one true love of his life. Yet, consider the above quote. When realizing how hurt and gutted she must be by his decision to leave her for his mistress (soon-to-be-second-wife), his first reaction is concern for his soul.
Concern. For. HIS. Soul.
Not her heart. Not his son with her. His soul.
And thus begets the true premise of this love-letter to Hemingway by a writer clearly enamored of "Papa." Papa was mostly concerned with Papa throughout his life.
Unashamedly, and seemingly offering a vulnerable, real, human side to the man who is too-often maligned as a sexist man's man, the author recounts direct conversations from Hemingway about how his second wife used "schemes and ruses, subterfuges, connivances" to wheedle her way into his inner circle, befriending his wife and offering to babysit his child, to get him for herself (31). In spite of friend Scott Fitzgerald warning him to extricate this "femme fatale" from his life, Hemingway was holding out for having them both--wife and mistress. But for some reason, this wasn't acceptable to the usually very loving and accommodating Hadley.
With the hindsight afforded by thirty years, Hemingway has gained a deep respect for her decision and recast their relationship as the one true love of his life. They were poor in finances but rich in love. She supported his writing and trusted him implicitly, even encouraging him to attend restaurants and theater productions with her well-to-do friend Pauline (wife #2) when she couldn't go. Pauline had a wealthy uncle who paid for her every whim. She promised that once they were married, Uncle Gus would buy them a house in Key West (he did) and they could travel and do any number of things--money being no object for once for the struggling writer.
And yet.
Once she "has" him and schedules a wedding date, Hemingway escapes on a men-only hunting trip to Africa, forcing her to delay the wedding. At one point he extols the values of Catholicism because after he goes to a church and prays for his erection to return, he and Pauline are finally able to have "as good a session as we'd ever had" (119). He decides Catholicism may not be all bad. Oh thank God!
And more.
When Pauline has Hemingway's son, he is off-put by the baby and his constant needs and escapes to a friend's dude ranch in Wyoming where he, "praise the Lord . . . had a really good three weeks away from Pauline" and was able to work on his next novel, fish, hunt, and enjoy "good ranch vittles and good bootleg whiskey" (131). Are we swooning yet, ladies?
When his second wife becomes pregnant with baby #2, and, after another painfully long labor ending in a C-section, the doctor says she can no longer conceive children, and he should make sure of that. Hemingway knows then that this marriage is over. A condom? Coitus interruptus? Not for this man's man. He decides to go on a fishing expedition and take on a 20-something mistress very publicly so Pauline gets the idea that their marriage is done (after all, that worked with Hadley). Instead, she promises that she will have Uncle Gus pay for them to take a $25,000 African safari. He will buy Ernest a car. A boat! Whatever he wants! She and the boys will "follow him around 'like a little dog'" (135).
And all the while our author is interviewing and recording Hemingway regaling us with these tales of his vulnerable humanity, his current wife, Mary, who was with him the last 15 years of his life, is delivering thoughtful food and drink as the old friends chat. She invites them to movies. She makes sure they are happy and comfortable. While her husband waxes nostalgic about his first wife, who apparently moved on, thankfully, to a happy second marriage. In fact Hotchner considered Mary such a good friend that he waited until well after her death to write and publish "Hemingway in Love." The author seems like a stand-up guy (other than his seeming hero-worship of EH). My view of Hemingway was, at best, affirmed and, at worst, rendered even darker and more disappointingly selfish and sexist by this book. But it was an interesting read! There is even a surprising twist at the end . . . .
Concern. For. HIS. Soul.
Not her heart. Not his son with her. His soul.
And thus begets the true premise of this love-letter to Hemingway by a writer clearly enamored of "Papa." Papa was mostly concerned with Papa throughout his life.
Unashamedly, and seemingly offering a vulnerable, real, human side to the man who is too-often maligned as a sexist man's man, the author recounts direct conversations from Hemingway about how his second wife used "schemes and ruses, subterfuges, connivances" to wheedle her way into his inner circle, befriending his wife and offering to babysit his child, to get him for herself (31). In spite of friend Scott Fitzgerald warning him to extricate this "femme fatale" from his life, Hemingway was holding out for having them both--wife and mistress. But for some reason, this wasn't acceptable to the usually very loving and accommodating Hadley.
With the hindsight afforded by thirty years, Hemingway has gained a deep respect for her decision and recast their relationship as the one true love of his life. They were poor in finances but rich in love. She supported his writing and trusted him implicitly, even encouraging him to attend restaurants and theater productions with her well-to-do friend Pauline (wife #2) when she couldn't go. Pauline had a wealthy uncle who paid for her every whim. She promised that once they were married, Uncle Gus would buy them a house in Key West (he did) and they could travel and do any number of things--money being no object for once for the struggling writer.
And yet.
Once she "has" him and schedules a wedding date, Hemingway escapes on a men-only hunting trip to Africa, forcing her to delay the wedding. At one point he extols the values of Catholicism because after he goes to a church and prays for his erection to return, he and Pauline are finally able to have "as good a session as we'd ever had" (119). He decides Catholicism may not be all bad. Oh thank God!
And more.
When Pauline has Hemingway's son, he is off-put by the baby and his constant needs and escapes to a friend's dude ranch in Wyoming where he, "praise the Lord . . . had a really good three weeks away from Pauline" and was able to work on his next novel, fish, hunt, and enjoy "good ranch vittles and good bootleg whiskey" (131). Are we swooning yet, ladies?
When his second wife becomes pregnant with baby #2, and, after another painfully long labor ending in a C-section, the doctor says she can no longer conceive children, and he should make sure of that. Hemingway knows then that this marriage is over. A condom? Coitus interruptus? Not for this man's man. He decides to go on a fishing expedition and take on a 20-something mistress very publicly so Pauline gets the idea that their marriage is done (after all, that worked with Hadley). Instead, she promises that she will have Uncle Gus pay for them to take a $25,000 African safari. He will buy Ernest a car. A boat! Whatever he wants! She and the boys will "follow him around 'like a little dog'" (135).
And all the while our author is interviewing and recording Hemingway regaling us with these tales of his vulnerable humanity, his current wife, Mary, who was with him the last 15 years of his life, is delivering thoughtful food and drink as the old friends chat. She invites them to movies. She makes sure they are happy and comfortable. While her husband waxes nostalgic about his first wife, who apparently moved on, thankfully, to a happy second marriage. In fact Hotchner considered Mary such a good friend that he waited until well after her death to write and publish "Hemingway in Love." The author seems like a stand-up guy (other than his seeming hero-worship of EH). My view of Hemingway was, at best, affirmed and, at worst, rendered even darker and more disappointingly selfish and sexist by this book. But it was an interesting read! There is even a surprising twist at the end . . . .