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5.0

It’s taken me many hours after finishing the book to write this review. I’ve been sobbing mainly and I couldn’t really see the letters through my tears!

This is one of those books that impacts your life, makes you rethink your whole existence and leaves you a little empty inside.

It’s not a typical romance. It’s rough, it’s raw, it’s real.
It’s thirteen years of longing and heartbreak, of yearning and despair, of love and hate and unsent e-mails.

Jude is only 15 when he falls in love with a beautiful boy. A boy who will break his heart again and again. A sweet innocent love, that over time turns into something poisonous.

The book follows Jude through life. A life full of growth and change where only one constant remains, his love for Caspien Deveraux. Through time his feelings never change, no matter what Caspien does, Jude vowed to love him unconditionally and always did. Even though Cas couldn’t love him back.

That love was so palpable I could taste it. It was as if Jude was put on this earth with the sole purpose of loving Caspien. Absolutely painfully beautiful to read.

“He was the beating heart inside my chest, the hopes and dreams I harboured in my soul. I existed only because he perceived me.”

Even though Cas hurt Jude over and over I always felt for him. The lonely boy raised in the empty mansion by a heartbroken, twisted man. His character growth was immense and I never thought I’d say this but I am proud of a fictional character.

Now the side characters…
Sweet, sweet Luke who deserves the world.
Understanding, kind Finn.
The absolute perfection of a man that was Nathan. For a moment there I also wished it was him instead of Cas.
Beth who can rot in Manchester for all I care and the absolute garbage of a man that is Xavier…he can rot somewhere way hotter.

The plot was intriguing and each and every character was written to perfection. This one will stay with me for a while!