Scan barcode
A review by kierscrivener
For Black Girls Like Me by Mariama J. Lockington
4.0
This is an incredible novel that follows eleven year old Keda as she navigates a new city as one of the few Black students in her high school and the only Black member of her family. Adopted as a baby she faces questions of identity and belonging in her family and how others perceive her in her family. It takes time to also look at how her mother acts and reacts as a white mother to a Black daughter, her insecurity, her mistakes.
How their mother (undiagnosed until late in the novel) Bipolar II affects both her and her sister Eve. Eve seeing her mother's diagnosis and manic episodes as destiny and that because she looks like their mother struggles with feeling like people identify her with the 'worst' of their mother. When Keda wishes nothing more to not be questioned or asked about her 'real family' or 'where she was born' She wants to blend and Eve wants to stand out.
I loved that Lockington allowed for both of them to have missteps and wrong opinions but also that their mistakes doesn't change their love or commitment to one another. As someone who couldn't be more different from my siblings and whose opinions couldn't fall further apart. But still remains close to them I appreciated that she included this nuanced exploration of sisterhood. You will never be carbon copies of your siblings whether you are biological, adopted or step siblings but that doesn't mean there can't be a bond that is greater than your differences. I wish I had written it down (as it is not in the quotes) but it was that they were the same tree looking at different skies. That they looked at the same situation with their different stories interpreting it.
I read a review saying that it was overcrowded, that she attempted to tackle too much and I couldn't disagree more. My favourite part of this is that it is intersectional. That though the 'main plot' is Keda finding and embracing what it means to be a Black girl. And more specifically a Black girl in a white family. But Keda's Blackness, or Keda being a transracial adoptee isn't an all encompassing thing. It impacts all areas of her life but those other things impact her life as well. So often stories especially those focused on identity of a minority is put in a vacuum. They become The Black One. The Gay One. The Bipolar One. The list is endless. But though representation is important, when we have representation and only representation with no other struggles or joys or big things we make these character tokens instead of characters. People are more than their most marginalized identity.
Life is messy and overcrowded, it doesn't wait for one crisis to end for another one to begin just ask 2020. And I think storytelling should reflect this. There are bad ways that this can be written but For Black Girls Like Me isn't an example of bad writing.
I just finished rewatching Civil War (I am going through Chadwick Boseman's films in the wake of his devastating death). And I was struck by how overcrowded the film should be. There is the first time introduction of two of biggest players in the MCU: Spiderman and Black Panther (both fully established in 8 and 11 minutes respectively), the official entrance of Antman as an Avenger, and the cementing of Wanda, Vision and Bucky as good characters outside of their more complicated origin films. Calling back and showing the effect of all previous films and balance Tony and Capt's romantic lives, journeys as heroes and leaders and how they pulled a Burr-Hamilton and switched places in their perspective of government and independence and how they view responsibility as corporate or individual. Add in a villain and his backstory and him ordering breakfast a lot and thematic conversations, relationships and lots of epic fights and a call back to the Edward Norton Hulk and you are still missing plot lines.
And some would argue that Civil War falls on it's overcrowded execution but I would argue that the reason the MCu films fight it out for the highest performing films of each year (and all time) is that they aren't one note. They build on many intersections of story, character and relationship. And For Black Girls Like Me isn't as grand in scope, it is ambitious in showing grounded reality.
The complexity of humanity, identity, family, and growing up. Not shying away from talking about racism, direct and what would be classified as 'polite everyday' racism. The othering. The calling of oreo or shame of being too Black or not Black enough. Adults turning a blind eye or in denial of bullying and hate speech. Of children being bullied and than allowing others to be bullied in order to be accepted. Of being a sister and how that relationship changes as you age. Of parentification or a child having to step up into an adult role. Of Mental Health. Of being a mother with bipolar and having a mother with bipolar. Feeling like Mental Health or trauma is an inescapable destiny. Of homeschooling, and first crushes and navigating a circle where you are the only one of your race. Of feeling like you are losing a friendship and the insecurity of reaching out. And the list is endless and they are each touched on so well even if only for a moment.
I can't wait to read more of Mariama's work! I also love love that this is all discussed in a Middle Grade book so often 'hard topics' are saved for later. But these are situations that are taking place when you are still a kid so they need to be talked about to kids.
Trigger Warnings: racism, use of the n-word, bullying, fatphobia, suicide, Bipolar II,
How their mother (undiagnosed until late in the novel) Bipolar II affects both her and her sister Eve. Eve seeing her mother's diagnosis and manic episodes as destiny and that because she looks like their mother struggles with feeling like people identify her with the 'worst' of their mother. When Keda wishes nothing more to not be questioned or asked about her 'real family' or 'where she was born' She wants to blend and Eve wants to stand out.
I loved that Lockington allowed for both of them to have missteps and wrong opinions but also that their mistakes doesn't change their love or commitment to one another. As someone who couldn't be more different from my siblings and whose opinions couldn't fall further apart. But still remains close to them I appreciated that she included this nuanced exploration of sisterhood. You will never be carbon copies of your siblings whether you are biological, adopted or step siblings but that doesn't mean there can't be a bond that is greater than your differences. I wish I had written it down (as it is not in the quotes) but it was that they were the same tree looking at different skies. That they looked at the same situation with their different stories interpreting it.
I read a review saying that it was overcrowded, that she attempted to tackle too much and I couldn't disagree more. My favourite part of this is that it is intersectional. That though the 'main plot' is Keda finding and embracing what it means to be a Black girl. And more specifically a Black girl in a white family. But Keda's Blackness, or Keda being a transracial adoptee isn't an all encompassing thing. It impacts all areas of her life but those other things impact her life as well. So often stories especially those focused on identity of a minority is put in a vacuum. They become The Black One. The Gay One. The Bipolar One. The list is endless. But though representation is important, when we have representation and only representation with no other struggles or joys or big things we make these character tokens instead of characters. People are more than their most marginalized identity.
Life is messy and overcrowded, it doesn't wait for one crisis to end for another one to begin just ask 2020. And I think storytelling should reflect this. There are bad ways that this can be written but For Black Girls Like Me isn't an example of bad writing.
I just finished rewatching Civil War (I am going through Chadwick Boseman's films in the wake of his devastating death). And I was struck by how overcrowded the film should be. There is the first time introduction of two of biggest players in the MCU: Spiderman and Black Panther (both fully established in 8 and 11 minutes respectively), the official entrance of Antman as an Avenger, and the cementing of Wanda, Vision and Bucky as good characters outside of their more complicated origin films. Calling back and showing the effect of all previous films and balance Tony and Capt's romantic lives, journeys as heroes and leaders and how they pulled a Burr-Hamilton and switched places in their perspective of government and independence and how they view responsibility as corporate or individual. Add in a villain and his backstory and him ordering breakfast a lot and thematic conversations, relationships and lots of epic fights and a call back to the Edward Norton Hulk and you are still missing plot lines.
And some would argue that Civil War falls on it's overcrowded execution but I would argue that the reason the MCu films fight it out for the highest performing films of each year (and all time) is that they aren't one note. They build on many intersections of story, character and relationship. And For Black Girls Like Me isn't as grand in scope, it is ambitious in showing grounded reality.
The complexity of humanity, identity, family, and growing up. Not shying away from talking about racism, direct and what would be classified as 'polite everyday' racism. The othering. The calling of oreo or shame of being too Black or not Black enough. Adults turning a blind eye or in denial of bullying and hate speech. Of children being bullied and than allowing others to be bullied in order to be accepted. Of being a sister and how that relationship changes as you age. Of parentification or a child having to step up into an adult role. Of Mental Health. Of being a mother with bipolar and having a mother with bipolar. Feeling like Mental Health or trauma is an inescapable destiny. Of homeschooling, and first crushes and navigating a circle where you are the only one of your race. Of feeling like you are losing a friendship and the insecurity of reaching out. And the list is endless and they are each touched on so well even if only for a moment.
I can't wait to read more of Mariama's work! I also love love that this is all discussed in a Middle Grade book so often 'hard topics' are saved for later. But these are situations that are taking place when you are still a kid so they need to be talked about to kids.
Trigger Warnings: racism, use of the n-word, bullying, fatphobia, suicide, Bipolar II,