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A review by lisawreading
The Matchmaker's List by Sonya Lalli
2.0
The Matchmaker's List had been on my to-read list for a while, and after a few heavier books, I thought this would make a nice, light change of pace. And yes, it did, but it was also frustrating and ultimately disappointing.
In The Matchmaker's List, Raina is 29 years old, a serious career woman -- an investment banker -- coming off a break-up with the love of her life. Dev is another investment banker, hard-driven in a way that Raina isn't, and always puts his career ahead of their relationship. Raina is so blinded by love that she puts up with it, until she just can't any more. As the book starts, Raina is living back in Canada after her time in London with Dev has ended, single, and devoted to her grandmother Nani, the woman who raised her.
Raina's best friend Shay is newly engaged, and Shay's mother Sarla is planning the ultimate Indian wedding bonanza. Nani just wants to see Raina settled as well, so she convinces Raina to go on a series of blind dates with suitable men from Nani's list. The men are, for the most part, duds -- arrogant or looking for an insta-mommy to their kids or just plain strange, and Raina is so not into it.
It's a fairly cute set-up so far, right? Raina wants to please her Nani, and she's not having any romantic success on her own, so why not try some traditional matchmaking? Except Raina is still hung up on Dev, who stays in touch just enough to keep Raina on the hook.
And here's where I got really turned off by Raina's character: After a misunderstanding, Raina lets Nani think she's gay. In fact, she confirms it, thinking it'll stay between the two of them and keep Nani from pursuing even more extreme measures to find her a prime Indian man to marry. Of course, it doesn't stay between them, and soon, the entire Indian community knows the "truth" about Raina, causing a huge amount of scandal and division, and leading to Nani being shunned by the women she used to be friends with.
Still, Raina keeps up the fiction, even when she sees that Nani has been browsing the internet to learn more about gay rights and how to support one's gay chldren, even investigating reproductive options for lesbian couples. Yup, Nani is ready to become a gay rights activist in defense of her beloved Raina. Raina still doesn't back down -- not even when the boy she used to babysit, now 18 years old, uses Raina's "coming out" as inspiration for his own, pushing him out of the closet before he's really ready and causing a huge rift within his family.
On top of Raina's ongoing lie, which feels like a cop-out to me, so unnecessary and causing so much drama and tension, she just doesn't strike me as a particularly good friend or nice person. When Shay mentions that she'd like to introduce Raina to one of her fiancé's friends who's just back from traveling the world for the past few years, Raina labels him a drifter and dismisses him -- and when she meets him, she immediately decides he's a stoner with no real evidence to support her conclusion, and continues to refer to him that way to his face even during additional encounters. Judgmental much?
What seems the most unforgivable to me is the huge fight she and Shay have during Shay's bachelorette weekend, when Shay hears from Sarla that Raina is a lesbian. Shay knows that that's a lie, and confronts Raina, and the two end up in a screaming match, during which Raina says this awful thing to Shay:
Really? Slut-shaming her best friend? And threatening her this way? Just disgusting.
As is the way with what's supposed to be a breezy romantic story, things of course work out for Raina and she ends up meeting the man of her dreams, getting the awful ex-boyfriend out of her life, telling the truth to Nani, and making up with the boy who came out because of her and felt horribly betrayed. And of course, she and Shay make up and are closer than ever, with Shay supporting Raina every step of the way.
And really, I just couldn't. How could Shay possibly forgive Raina after the horrible thing she said? I'm sorry, I don't care how angry Raina was (without justification, I might add) -- I think her actions and statements were pretty unforgivable.
Also, by allowing Nani to believe she was gay, she thrust her unprepared grandmother into a controversy that caused her all sorts of grief and turmoil. Raina later seems to be using the experience to show how sexual orientation shouldn't matter in terms of being loved and supported by one's family and community, but it felt like co-opting someone else's struggle. Raina, a straight woman, pretending to be a lesbian for her own convenience, and somehow holding herself up as a symbol of pride and equality? No.
I wish I could say the story itself is charming enough to get me to see past these issues, but it's not. It wasn't a slog to get through or anything -- the narrative moves along quickly, and there are plenty of amusing incidents and vignettes that keep the pace going. Nani is a great character, and I enjoyed the sections that showed the complications of Raina's childhood, her mother's life, and the backstory for her relationship with Nani.
The cultural elements are also quite good -- I loved getting the little snippets about Raina cooking with Nani or enjoying their favorite Bollywood movies together, as well as the customs surrounding a traditional Hindu wedding, and can only imagine how spectacular it might be to actually be there and experience the gorgeous clothing and amazing tastes and sounds and smells.
Still, that doesn't outweigh how offensive I found so many of Raina's actions. I'd love to hear opposing thoughts, of course. But for myself, I can't really recommend this book, despite its occasional amusing and entertaining parts.
In The Matchmaker's List, Raina is 29 years old, a serious career woman -- an investment banker -- coming off a break-up with the love of her life. Dev is another investment banker, hard-driven in a way that Raina isn't, and always puts his career ahead of their relationship. Raina is so blinded by love that she puts up with it, until she just can't any more. As the book starts, Raina is living back in Canada after her time in London with Dev has ended, single, and devoted to her grandmother Nani, the woman who raised her.
Raina's best friend Shay is newly engaged, and Shay's mother Sarla is planning the ultimate Indian wedding bonanza. Nani just wants to see Raina settled as well, so she convinces Raina to go on a series of blind dates with suitable men from Nani's list. The men are, for the most part, duds -- arrogant or looking for an insta-mommy to their kids or just plain strange, and Raina is so not into it.
It's a fairly cute set-up so far, right? Raina wants to please her Nani, and she's not having any romantic success on her own, so why not try some traditional matchmaking? Except Raina is still hung up on Dev, who stays in touch just enough to keep Raina on the hook.
And here's where I got really turned off by Raina's character: After a misunderstanding, Raina lets Nani think she's gay. In fact, she confirms it, thinking it'll stay between the two of them and keep Nani from pursuing even more extreme measures to find her a prime Indian man to marry. Of course, it doesn't stay between them, and soon, the entire Indian community knows the "truth" about Raina, causing a huge amount of scandal and division, and leading to Nani being shunned by the women she used to be friends with.
Still, Raina keeps up the fiction, even when she sees that Nani has been browsing the internet to learn more about gay rights and how to support one's gay chldren, even investigating reproductive options for lesbian couples. Yup, Nani is ready to become a gay rights activist in defense of her beloved Raina. Raina still doesn't back down -- not even when the boy she used to babysit, now 18 years old, uses Raina's "coming out" as inspiration for his own, pushing him out of the closet before he's really ready and causing a huge rift within his family.
On top of Raina's ongoing lie, which feels like a cop-out to me, so unnecessary and causing so much drama and tension, she just doesn't strike me as a particularly good friend or nice person. When Shay mentions that she'd like to introduce Raina to one of her fiancé's friends who's just back from traveling the world for the past few years, Raina labels him a drifter and dismisses him -- and when she meets him, she immediately decides he's a stoner with no real evidence to support her conclusion, and continues to refer to him that way to his face even during additional encounters. Judgmental much?
What seems the most unforgivable to me is the huge fight she and Shay have during Shay's bachelorette weekend, when Shay hears from Sarla that Raina is a lesbian. Shay knows that that's a lie, and confronts Raina, and the two end up in a screaming match, during which Raina says this awful thing to Shay:
"I wonder if Julien would still marry you if he knew what a slut you used to be."
Really? Slut-shaming her best friend? And threatening her this way? Just disgusting.
As is the way with what's supposed to be a breezy romantic story, things of course work out for Raina and she ends up meeting the man of her dreams, getting the awful ex-boyfriend out of her life, telling the truth to Nani, and making up with the boy who came out because of her and felt horribly betrayed. And of course, she and Shay make up and are closer than ever, with Shay supporting Raina every step of the way.
And really, I just couldn't. How could Shay possibly forgive Raina after the horrible thing she said? I'm sorry, I don't care how angry Raina was (without justification, I might add) -- I think her actions and statements were pretty unforgivable.
Also, by allowing Nani to believe she was gay, she thrust her unprepared grandmother into a controversy that caused her all sorts of grief and turmoil. Raina later seems to be using the experience to show how sexual orientation shouldn't matter in terms of being loved and supported by one's family and community, but it felt like co-opting someone else's struggle. Raina, a straight woman, pretending to be a lesbian for her own convenience, and somehow holding herself up as a symbol of pride and equality? No.
I wish I could say the story itself is charming enough to get me to see past these issues, but it's not. It wasn't a slog to get through or anything -- the narrative moves along quickly, and there are plenty of amusing incidents and vignettes that keep the pace going. Nani is a great character, and I enjoyed the sections that showed the complications of Raina's childhood, her mother's life, and the backstory for her relationship with Nani.
The cultural elements are also quite good -- I loved getting the little snippets about Raina cooking with Nani or enjoying their favorite Bollywood movies together, as well as the customs surrounding a traditional Hindu wedding, and can only imagine how spectacular it might be to actually be there and experience the gorgeous clothing and amazing tastes and sounds and smells.
Still, that doesn't outweigh how offensive I found so many of Raina's actions. I'd love to hear opposing thoughts, of course. But for myself, I can't really recommend this book, despite its occasional amusing and entertaining parts.