A review by casskrug
What I'd Rather Not Think About by Jente Posthuma

4.0

a fast-paced, fragmentary rumination on sibling relationships and how people carry on through the grief of suicide. while this was a quick read, it was not an easy one by any means. our narrator recounts stories of life with her twin brother, from childhood through adulthood, when he takes his own life at the age of 35. the relationship between the twins was not always the greatest, and we watch them drift apart as they grow older and the brother’s mental health declines. the narrator struggles with feelings of guilt and helplessness after his death. but underneath it all there is the heartbeat of the unparalleled sibling bond. similar to worry by alexandra tanner, which i read at the beginning of the month, what i’d rather not think about showcases the way that your sibling can be the person who frustrates you the most, even though you’d do anything for them.

the writing was very concise and the chapters were short, making the reading experience fly by. we move around throughout time, but not in a way that feels disjointed or difficult to follow. i enjoyed the voice of the narrator and the range of emotions posthuma was able to capture.

this is an underrated gem for those of you that are interested in reading about grief and siblings. would be a great pick for women in translation month!

“I thought about all the love we have inside us and how only a shred of that reaches the people we care about.”