A review by thimblewhim
The Crown of Gilded Bones by Jennifer L. Armentrout

adventurous fast-paced
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated

3.5

I enjoyed the book. I am enjoying the series. But there's a few things that irritate the hell out of me. 

1. Iliseeum - why? Why?! WHY?! It's Elysium. We all know it's supposed to be Elysium. It isn't cute or creative or innovative to spell it the same way that a third grader would sound it out. Every time I see "Iliseeum" in the book, it makes me feel like my brain is on fire. Did the author or publishing house think this was cool? Or do they think their readers can't handle big words with y in it? It's already an anglicized Greek word. We don't need to mangle their beautiful culture, history, or language any more than we already have. I am going to struggle with this for the rest of the series I'm sure. 

2. My personal pet peeve is when fantasy books take time out of our day to explain modern amenities. Wayyyy too much time was spent describing the magic of plumbing, electricity, and social mobility.... and multiple times!! Completely unnecessary. It's like when you're complaining about the airport and your uncle starts ranting about the magic that is air transit. No we shouldn't take our technology for granted. But for fucks sake I can only manage to read 10 pages a night before passing out from exhaustion. I need my escape. I don't need the concept of PLUMBING explained to me in a fantasy smut novel. 

3. Really poor grammar throughout. Dear Editorial staff, how did you let this draft get through? When do you see couples "walking hand and hand"? That was just one.  There were many other moments when I had to pause and rewrite some sentences in my head before moving on. I'm used to one or two typos but... big oof. 

4. "I realized that each of his steps was in tune with the steady beat of the drum." ... you can step in TIME with a steady beat, but not in tune with them.  Footsteps would be considered nonpitched percussion, especially since the ground is not usually a membranophone. To be in tune with a drum would suggest a melodic or pitch component. Perhaps if said drum was a timpani? Or other pitched drumhead? IDK 

5. God/Goddess and deity are literally synonyms. I don't understand the logic behind making them mean different things in this world. Just come up with a new word instead? Or, since we're mangling mythology (see #1), how about you just use the word 'demigod'??? It is murky and confusing. 

I'm sure I seem quite crazy aggressive and negative now, but I did very much enjoy the book. The story is compelling and yes I'm gonna march my whiny pedantic butt on over to downloading book 4. Don't get me wrong, it was a good time,  problems not withstanding. The spicy scenes are spicy. And the story kept me interested and wanting to see what will come next. 
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