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A review by seraphiina
I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokpokki by Baek Se-hee
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
2.5
I am SO conflicted about this book.
First of all, I had great sympathy for Baek Se-hee. Having struggled with mild depression and anxiety most of my life, I could relate to a lot of her insecurities, and I know it's a huge step to be honest towards yourself; let alone the entire world! I resonated with her thoughts and I found myself thinking that I wish I could meet her and try to convince her that she was absolutely not a mean or bad person; just someone going through a rough time without the proper tools to deal with it.
Here is the big caveat: The format of the novel is a collection of transcripts betqeen Baek Se-Hee and her psychiatrist. Which is honestly interesting and refreshing.
But I found myself SO upset with the psychiatrist. At best, she gave banal advice that even most girlfriends or parents would be able to give. Well-meaning, but not necessarily grounded in any psychological theory. At worst, she seemed condescending and unprofessional, constantly reminding our poor author of how "extreme" she was in her thoughts without giving her proper tools to assess and change the way she was thinking. It was so frustrating to see such a clever and bright young woman be undermined with downright toxic advice such as "try to change your way of thinking 😊" - thanks, I am cured.
I feel the overall message of the novel is positive and I am happy that Baek Se-Hee found some growth and recovery in this subpar therapy and through this writing journey. But as a reader, I found myself wanting to rip my hair out.
I recommend this if you are experiencing similar issues and want to resonate with the fact that you are not alone and things will get better; but look further for actual helpful advice.
First of all, I had great sympathy for Baek Se-hee. Having struggled with mild depression and anxiety most of my life, I could relate to a lot of her insecurities, and I know it's a huge step to be honest towards yourself; let alone the entire world! I resonated with her thoughts and I found myself thinking that I wish I could meet her and try to convince her that she was absolutely not a mean or bad person; just someone going through a rough time without the proper tools to deal with it.
Here is the big caveat: The format of the novel is a collection of transcripts betqeen Baek Se-Hee and her psychiatrist. Which is honestly interesting and refreshing.
But I found myself SO upset with the psychiatrist. At best, she gave banal advice that even most girlfriends or parents would be able to give. Well-meaning, but not necessarily grounded in any psychological theory. At worst, she seemed condescending and unprofessional, constantly reminding our poor author of how "extreme" she was in her thoughts without giving her proper tools to assess and change the way she was thinking. It was so frustrating to see such a clever and bright young woman be undermined with downright toxic advice such as "try to change your way of thinking 😊" - thanks, I am cured.
I feel the overall message of the novel is positive and I am happy that Baek Se-Hee found some growth and recovery in this subpar therapy and through this writing journey. But as a reader, I found myself wanting to rip my hair out.
I recommend this if you are experiencing similar issues and want to resonate with the fact that you are not alone and things will get better; but look further for actual helpful advice.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness
Minor: Alcoholism and Domestic abuse