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A review by rachelmerrie
Forever, Interrupted by Taylor Jenkins Reid
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
I’m going to start by saying I’m going through something in my personal life that may be affecting the way I am able to digest some aspects of this book and its characters. I think TJR is a phenomenal writer and I love this book because she brought the situation to life. With that said, I hated nearly everything that happened in this book and would not re-read it because I felt I was re-experiencing my recent extremely hurtful experience.
Semi-spoilers to follow:
I know this book is about loss and grief and the things said and done after loss are said and done out of sadness, but the things these characters do BEFORE the loss is what irks me. I often find that people in relationships silo themselves and have the mindset that only they matter in their relationship. And while I do agree that the bottom line of every decision should be made from within the relationship, I do not agree that intentionally and hurt fully leaving people out of major life decisions (not as a decision maker, but as someone to experience the outcome of the decisions) simply because you’re afraid of how the person will react is okay. When you prevent people outside of the relationship that you want to maintain separate relationships with from being aware of situations and getting the chance to respond, you take away their part in the relationship you have with them. It results in secrets and lies and prevents the relationship from growing to its full potential.
Communicating with your partner about not being ready mentally or financially to have children, but not taking the precautions to prevent pregnancy is one of my biggest frustrations. Getting married to someone you met only a couple of months prior, then expecting people in your partner’s life that have never even heard of you to see your marriage as legitimate is another.
Why are people in the biggest rush to commit to marriage when they haven’t experienced anything in life for themselves?
Direct quotes/spoilers:
“How little she knew her own son” 🤢 I cannot stand when people begin seeing someone and instantly believe they know them better than their family (especially if that person is extremely close with their family). I completely agree that two romantic partners know each other DIFFERENTLY than family members know each other, but thinking you can take away how much a family member knows your partner because you believe you’re entitled to first place after 2 months of knowing each other makes me SICK. Narcissists vibes fr.
One main character yelling at the other and coercing them into rushing into a marriage they aren’t ready for:
“What I want is to be with the kind of man that wants to marry me so bad, nothing will stop him. I want to be loved by someone who loves me so much he can’t think straight. I want you to love me in a way that makes you stupid and impractical. I want to rush into this. Rushing into it is romantic, it makes me feel alive.”
“I deserve you jumping off a cliff for me because I am prepared to do it for you.”
🤢🤢🤢🤢 I just can’t with this childish ass behavior.
Conversation that took place between the person who intentionally put a loving family member of their partner on the sideline and that family member:
“I think I was afraid that you would tell him how ridiculous we were being and he would listen to you. I was afraid I would lose him.” -narcissistic child believing rushing into things is best regardless of who they hurt along the way
“But why would you break up because of that? You wouldn’t. At the very most, he would just decide to wait longer to get married.” - reasonable adult response from someone intentionally being put on the sidelines but wants them to think about their decisions BEFORE they make them
Semi-spoilers to follow:
I know this book is about loss and grief and the things said and done after loss are said and done out of sadness, but the things these characters do BEFORE the loss is what irks me. I often find that people in relationships silo themselves and have the mindset that only they matter in their relationship. And while I do agree that the bottom line of every decision should be made from within the relationship, I do not agree that intentionally and hurt fully leaving people out of major life decisions (not as a decision maker, but as someone to experience the outcome of the decisions) simply because you’re afraid of how the person will react is okay. When you prevent people outside of the relationship that you want to maintain separate relationships with from being aware of situations and getting the chance to respond, you take away their part in the relationship you have with them. It results in secrets and lies and prevents the relationship from growing to its full potential.
Communicating with your partner about not being ready mentally or financially to have children, but not taking the precautions to prevent pregnancy is one of my biggest frustrations. Getting married to someone you met only a couple of months prior, then expecting people in your partner’s life that have never even heard of you to see your marriage as legitimate is another.
Why are people in the biggest rush to commit to marriage when they haven’t experienced anything in life for themselves?
Direct quotes/spoilers:
“How little she knew her own son” 🤢 I cannot stand when people begin seeing someone and instantly believe they know them better than their family (especially if that person is extremely close with their family). I completely agree that two romantic partners know each other DIFFERENTLY than family members know each other, but thinking you can take away how much a family member knows your partner because you believe you’re entitled to first place after 2 months of knowing each other makes me SICK. Narcissists vibes fr.
One main character yelling at the other and coercing them into rushing into a marriage they aren’t ready for:
“What I want is to be with the kind of man that wants to marry me so bad, nothing will stop him. I want to be loved by someone who loves me so much he can’t think straight. I want you to love me in a way that makes you stupid and impractical. I want to rush into this. Rushing into it is romantic, it makes me feel alive.”
“I deserve you jumping off a cliff for me because I am prepared to do it for you.”
🤢🤢🤢🤢 I just can’t with this childish ass behavior.
Conversation that took place between the person who intentionally put a loving family member of their partner on the sideline and that family member:
“I think I was afraid that you would tell him how ridiculous we were being and he would listen to you. I was afraid I would lose him.” -narcissistic child believing rushing into things is best regardless of who they hurt along the way
“But why would you break up because of that? You wouldn’t. At the very most, he would just decide to wait longer to get married.” - reasonable adult response from someone intentionally being put on the sidelines but wants them to think about their decisions BEFORE they make them