A review by maple_dove
Ophelia After All by Racquel Marie

emotional lighthearted reflective sad slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

SDKJASLDHASDIOSADIOASDOS I DID NOT EXPECT THAT?!

Also, I took me 10 days to finish reading this book when I usually only take a few days to finish one. High school WHYYYYY--

I Liked
  • That this wasn't about Ophelia getting the girl or discovering her queerness because of a relationship. This book was about discovering and loving yourself, which was such a nice change. I loved it. 💛
  • The complexity was amazing.
  • How AWARE this book is (the knowledge of a variety of identities).

I Didn't Like
  • Sammie. I'M NOT SORRY! Sammie was a jerk, and you know it. Hell, he even admitted it at the end of the book. I'm glad he admitted it, apologized (actually, not making excuses), and started seeing a therapist to self-improve. I didn't dislike him every time he made an appearance in the book, I'll admit. It was more like 50/50 like and dislike.
  • I don't belong in a big friend group (or any friend group with more than three people, tbh), nor do I like being in them so I can't relate to the friend group dynamics.

Favorite Quotes:

Virginal as I am, my golden sexual-advice rule is that if you can't talk about it, you probably shouldn't be doing it. Seriously, be a little mature.

"Ophelia, it's great to see you. What grade are you in now, tenth?"
Daf stifles a laugh. I forcefully hand him back the wine.
"I'm actually a senior."
"No way!" He gasps in that classic I'm An Adult And Cannot Process You Aging At The Same Rate As Me For Some Reason way and turns to Mom.

"But sometimes, when you've known someone for years and they build up this image of you, it's hard to talk about things that mess with that image. It feels like you'd be breaking some bond of trust between you and that person by being different than you were before. I don't just mean subtle, slow changes. I mean, like, the big things that they never saw coming."

I know kissing and liking Talia shouldn't change who I am to them, or to myself, but it does. And maybe they'd say 'Oh, this doesn't change anything!' or 'You're still the same Ophelia we know and love!' but it does, and I'm not the same. And they can't possibly understand that. It's not just that I'm scared they'll hate me for this; I'm scared they won't even see it."
"People confuse acceptance with erasure," he says with the weight of understanding that only someone else who has battled this same internal conflict possibly could. (pg. 284)

I agree with this so much. "This doesn't change anything" and "You're still the same" just never felt right. Of course being queer and/or trans changes things. That's the point.

"Did I ever tell you why I chose Ophelia though?"
"No," I admit, surprised I never asked. "I always figured you wanted something more unique. Or that Dad vetoed Juliet." Dad never wanted to watch adaptations of Romeo and Juliet, claiming it was too tragic for him. The irony of him still loving Hamlet isn't lost on me.
She laughs. "No, he always knew it was my dream to name a child after one of them. Juliet and Ophelia were always my favorite because they are two of the most quickly dismissed among people who refuse to dig past the surface narrative. Juliet is remembered as a foolish teenage girl who threw away her life for a boy she hardly knew, and Ophelia is remembered more for her virginity and inability to accept Hamlet's rejection than anything else."
"Great legacies you left me."
"But that's not who those girls were," she corrects firmly. "Romeo was just as much a hopeless romantic as Juliet, and they gave their lives to show the world that true love mattered more than senseless hatred. Juliet cared enough about her family to die so they could live brighter, wiser lives. I respected her as a character for being more mature than most give her credit for."
"Then why'd you pick Ophelia?" I ask, dusting my hands against my jeans. She narrows her eyes at the crumbs I'm spreading in the car, but keeps going.
"Ophelia was all those things too. But she also wore her heart on her sleeve. She wasn't 'mad' in her final scene; she was grieving without shame. She was begging for someone to hear her desperation beneath the offered flowers."

I recognize the look in his eyes, not quite hunger for something deeper. Longing, love, profound admiration. I'm sure he'd find the same things in my eyes when I look at Talia too, and instead of swallowing that sting of realization, I embrace it. Running from these feelings did me no good. I don't cling to the idea that I have a romantic future with Talia anymore, a future I'm still mourning the loss of, but I shouldn't have to pretend I never wanted one. (pg. 327)

Agatha was right. Prom was never about the dresses or the dates or the ridiculous theme. It was about celebrating, through all those little details, the feeling that holy shit, we actually survived high school.
Well, almost survived it. (pg. 329)

Conclusion:

In the end, my lack of interest for realistic fiction kind of blew it for me. 😓 I know what you're going to say, "ThEn WhY dId YoU rEaD tHiS bOoK?" Because I still wanted to read it. :) And will I continue to read realistic fiction? Yes.
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