A review by alundeberg
Why We Can't Sleep: Women's New Midlife Crisis by Ada Calhoun

4.0

I listened to this book not because I am experiencing a midlife crisis (which I am not), but because Ada Calhoun's subject is Gen-X women, and my first thought was, "Someone wrote a book about us?". Calhoun mined various studies and interviewed hundreds of women to come to the conclusion that it is hard to be a woman in America, especially in your mid-forties and early fifties. We don't need a book to tell us what we already know, but she does shine a light on the particular challenges that Gen-X women face. We were the first generation of women who COULD have it all, but overtime our society morphed it into that we MUST have it all-- the family, the career, perfect home. We were expected to do great things, and what happens to us when the greatness does not materialize or when it does, it doesn't feel satisfying? In the race to have it all, women made choices like waiting until they were older to have children in order to focus on their career first. Now they are in middle-age with young kids and aging parents, both which need tending to. And don't forget about the career. That needs tending to, too. Women, Calhoun posits, have it all, but slam on the breaks once they wonder if it is really what they wanted. She also delves into issues of peri-menopause, marriage problems, job satisfaction, and friendships.

I think it is typical for people to question their lives and choices when they get older, and I do not think that Calhoun's message is that revolutionary. What I appreciated about it is how she discusses how women can have a midlife crisis, too. It's not just men, who do it loudly and publicly. Women's crisis is quiet, internal. She does offer some suggestions about how to navigate this time of life. It's an interesting read.