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shadowsdana 's review for:
Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape
by Peggy Orenstein
Although well written, this book did not discuss the topics I was interested in when I read the overview. If you are confused about what "consent" means, save yourself the time and watch the following video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQbei5JGiT8
If you're uncomfortable talking to young people about consent, have them watch the video.
If you want to read numerous examples of young women being treated like fast food, read this book. The women that were interviewed talk of leading double lives, they are intelligent, independent women, the filet mignons of selection and then on the weekend, grind themselves us and become sale ground beef. Why do they do this? So that they aren't alone and that they get to go to parties. I was hoping that the interviews would go further into why these ladies are so afraid of being alone or afraid of making friends that have interests outside of the party scene, but it didn't, the interviews led into discussions of these women doing things to make other people happy or feel good. That is the main point of this book, these women are sacrificing themselves in order to make someone else feel good which is why they get coerced into sex that they are just doing instead of having. How sad. In the worst cases, this perpetual doing has led them to really bad situations in which their doing was taken advantage of, they were, in fact, raped. Even more sad.
The fact is that young women are now supposed to be sexually free, but young men are STILL NOT TAUGHT TO RESPECT WOMEN. From the tugging of pony tails, to the teasing on the playground, to the threats in highschool (do it and I won't tell everyone you are slut) to the "you did it last weekend so why not tonight?" guilt trips, young men are not taught to respect women.
Two stars for this book because it over promised and under delivered on certain topics like rape culture and the double standard of boundaries that we teach young girls, but overall, three stars for openly discussing the dehumanizing acts that young people engage in ALL THE TIME. Hopefully, something will change in how young people learn about sex, something that will teach both girls and boys that it is natural, they are going to want to do it, and that it can be fun, enjoyable, and safe without anyone feeling regret afterward. Alas, not all minds are progressive so girls that "do it" will still be considered unvirtuous and boys that "do it" will still be considered kings.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQbei5JGiT8
If you're uncomfortable talking to young people about consent, have them watch the video.
If you want to read numerous examples of young women being treated like fast food, read this book. The women that were interviewed talk of leading double lives, they are intelligent, independent women, the filet mignons of selection and then on the weekend, grind themselves us and become sale ground beef. Why do they do this? So that they aren't alone and that they get to go to parties. I was hoping that the interviews would go further into why these ladies are so afraid of being alone or afraid of making friends that have interests outside of the party scene, but it didn't, the interviews led into discussions of these women doing things to make other people happy or feel good. That is the main point of this book, these women are sacrificing themselves in order to make someone else feel good which is why they get coerced into sex that they are just doing instead of having. How sad. In the worst cases, this perpetual doing has led them to really bad situations in which their doing was taken advantage of, they were, in fact, raped. Even more sad.
The fact is that young women are now supposed to be sexually free, but young men are STILL NOT TAUGHT TO RESPECT WOMEN. From the tugging of pony tails, to the teasing on the playground, to the threats in highschool (do it and I won't tell everyone you are slut) to the "you did it last weekend so why not tonight?" guilt trips, young men are not taught to respect women.
Two stars for this book because it over promised and under delivered on certain topics like rape culture and the double standard of boundaries that we teach young girls, but overall, three stars for openly discussing the dehumanizing acts that young people engage in ALL THE TIME. Hopefully, something will change in how young people learn about sex, something that will teach both girls and boys that it is natural, they are going to want to do it, and that it can be fun, enjoyable, and safe without anyone feeling regret afterward. Alas, not all minds are progressive so girls that "do it" will still be considered unvirtuous and boys that "do it" will still be considered kings.