Scan barcode
A review by gwentolios
The Friend by Christopher X. Sullivan
3.0
Read this with my Ace bookclub, and we were all very interested to read a romantic memoir featuring an ace guy. Some of the little things in here, especially a few scenes that very well described what I can only describe as ace panic, did connect with me as a fellow ace.
There are some interesting style choices, but it's a flavor of ace rep that I haven't seen before. I also got really drawn into the drama of this (helped by knowing these two are now married with a son). I wasn't the only one - several people in my bookclub went on to buy and read the next few installments. That said, it was a drama we read almost for the horror of it.
I know quite a few aces, but very little in relationships, so I'm always interested in how those formed and thus naturally kept trying to imagine myself in the relationship in the book. How did this true story relate to mine? Could I use it as a loose guide? But I just couldn't do it. I could connect with Chris - a love of writing, not wanting to be seen, avoiding fashion, avoiding clubs, completely missing flirting, having triggers to cue the emotional distance, etc. But how this relationship builds, and its dynamics, is completely against anything I'd want or that I'd want any of my friends to have. In romance OR friendship.
And I think, ultimately, that's what makes this a no-rec for me. I get it, this is a memoir and I don't want to diss his life, but so many things rubbed me the wrong way. This doesn't feel like a healthy relationship and worse, the issues don't get addressed. Sure, Mark does some cute things. But he also crosses so many boundaries, in part because Chris doesn't know how to set them. Even when Chris is upset.
Everything is viewed through rose-colored glasses, but as soon as you step outside of that and actually look at the developing relationship...well. I don't want anyone, especially fellow aces, to think this is what they should strive for.
There are some interesting style choices, but it's a flavor of ace rep that I haven't seen before. I also got really drawn into the drama of this (helped by knowing these two are now married with a son). I wasn't the only one - several people in my bookclub went on to buy and read the next few installments. That said, it was a drama we read almost for the horror of it.
I know quite a few aces, but very little in relationships, so I'm always interested in how those formed and thus naturally kept trying to imagine myself in the relationship in the book. How did this true story relate to mine? Could I use it as a loose guide? But I just couldn't do it. I could connect with Chris - a love of writing, not wanting to be seen, avoiding fashion, avoiding clubs, completely missing flirting, having triggers to cue the emotional distance, etc. But how this relationship builds, and its dynamics, is completely against anything I'd want or that I'd want any of my friends to have. In romance OR friendship.
And I think, ultimately, that's what makes this a no-rec for me. I get it, this is a memoir and I don't want to diss his life, but so many things rubbed me the wrong way. This doesn't feel like a healthy relationship and worse, the issues don't get addressed. Sure, Mark does some cute things. But he also crosses so many boundaries, in part because Chris doesn't know how to set them. Even when Chris is upset.
Everything is viewed through rose-colored glasses, but as soon as you step outside of that and actually look at the developing relationship...well. I don't want anyone, especially fellow aces, to think this is what they should strive for.