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A review by intomybookshelf_
Ejaculate Responsibly: A Whole New Way to Think About Abortion by Gabrielle Stanley Blair
Considering the current context surrounding abortion, I was immediately drawn to this book when I was what this was about. I have to say, I went in not knowing anything about the author, but I had very high expectations after reading the summary.
I believe books like these are extremely important and it's great to see more of them pop up these days. Though there were a few things that did bother me (which I'll dive into later).
This was a difficult read. An important one, but difficult nonetheless. It pushes you to confront the limitations of our societies, and how we're still living in 2022 in a profoundly patriarchal and sexist world. It's hard to face the reality of the situation and be like "ok, so what do we do now", especially considering recent events.
What I did like:
- The premise of this book is as follows: if you want to reduce abortions, you need to act earlier, and actually teach men how to be responsible beings. Sex education, in the US yes but also worldwide need to be done more efficiently and more globally!
- The want to destigmatize contraceptive measures, and more specifically condom use!
- Highlighting the prejudice certain doctors can have agaisnt women under 35 wanting to have their tubes tied was really interesting! We have the same issue here in France, and that's something we need to fight against.
- It does feel a bit biaised and like some shortcuts were taken so that the arguments can be more impactful.
- The importance of demystifying childbirth and parenting. This book says it like it is. Childbirth and parenting are not always rainbows and sunshine. It's important to know what you're getting into.
- I appreciate the mention of how much riskier childbirth is for Black women. I would have appreciated a more detailed paragraph about it, but it is nice that minorites aren't forgotten here.
What I didn't enjoy :
Before I go into details for this one, I have a couple of disclaimers. As a med student who studies obstetrics and gynecology and interned in an OB department, I do feel like I may be biaised sometimes. And as a French female, I do read about the US, but I'm clearly not an expert and I compare a lot with our health care here in France. Now that these are out of the way, here are a few things that bothered me:
- The different sources were not quoted all along the book. There's a link at the end of it, but it's a shame there's not more transparency for some of the arguments. Sometimes, it felt like statistics or arguments were coming out of nowhere and were immediately considered as a given.
- Trans people are not a part of this book. They're only mentioned in the beginning just to say that they will be excluded from the arguments. It is really is a shame. Trans people are almost always from these discussions and it's just getting tiresome not seeing them in these. I understand that it may take more work, more research, but it feels wrong to exclude them completely, without giving them any resources.
- The argument that vasectomies are safer and cheaper than birth control for women : vasectomies are a surgical act, and it feels like surgeries are banalised here, which is dangerous in my opinion. A surgery is not nothing. And reverse vasectomies are not as common as we're lead to believe in the book. Plus the fact that it's cheaper is not a guarantee. Everyone can't afford to go to a clinic or a hospital and pay for a surgery at once. The narrator does say that health insurances WILL reimbursed the act more in the coming years. But we have absolutely no idea if it will actually be the case.
- Banking sperm is also extremely banalised by the book. She says that vasectomies can be reversed all the time, but still, if you're scared, you can easily bank your sperm. Banking sperm is an extremely costly process. Again, not everyone can afford it.
I will finish this review by saying that I DO recommend reading this book. If only for the deep thinking it pushes you do. However, it's important to be critical throughout the book.
Thank you NetGalley, Workman Publishing Company and the author for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
I believe books like these are extremely important and it's great to see more of them pop up these days. Though there were a few things that did bother me (which I'll dive into later).
This was a difficult read. An important one, but difficult nonetheless. It pushes you to confront the limitations of our societies, and how we're still living in 2022 in a profoundly patriarchal and sexist world. It's hard to face the reality of the situation and be like "ok, so what do we do now", especially considering recent events.
What I did like:
- The premise of this book is as follows: if you want to reduce abortions, you need to act earlier, and actually teach men how to be responsible beings. Sex education, in the US yes but also worldwide need to be done more efficiently and more globally!
- The want to destigmatize contraceptive measures, and more specifically condom use!
- Highlighting the prejudice certain doctors can have agaisnt women under 35 wanting to have their tubes tied was really interesting! We have the same issue here in France, and that's something we need to fight against.
- It does feel a bit biaised and like some shortcuts were taken so that the arguments can be more impactful.
- The importance of demystifying childbirth and parenting. This book says it like it is. Childbirth and parenting are not always rainbows and sunshine. It's important to know what you're getting into.
- I appreciate the mention of how much riskier childbirth is for Black women. I would have appreciated a more detailed paragraph about it, but it is nice that minorites aren't forgotten here.
What I didn't enjoy :
Before I go into details for this one, I have a couple of disclaimers. As a med student who studies obstetrics and gynecology and interned in an OB department, I do feel like I may be biaised sometimes. And as a French female, I do read about the US, but I'm clearly not an expert and I compare a lot with our health care here in France. Now that these are out of the way, here are a few things that bothered me:
- The different sources were not quoted all along the book. There's a link at the end of it, but it's a shame there's not more transparency for some of the arguments. Sometimes, it felt like statistics or arguments were coming out of nowhere and were immediately considered as a given.
- Trans people are not a part of this book. They're only mentioned in the beginning just to say that they will be excluded from the arguments. It is really is a shame. Trans people are almost always from these discussions and it's just getting tiresome not seeing them in these. I understand that it may take more work, more research, but it feels wrong to exclude them completely, without giving them any resources.
- The argument that vasectomies are safer and cheaper than birth control for women : vasectomies are a surgical act, and it feels like surgeries are banalised here, which is dangerous in my opinion. A surgery is not nothing. And reverse vasectomies are not as common as we're lead to believe in the book. Plus the fact that it's cheaper is not a guarantee. Everyone can't afford to go to a clinic or a hospital and pay for a surgery at once. The narrator does say that health insurances WILL reimbursed the act more in the coming years. But we have absolutely no idea if it will actually be the case.
- Banking sperm is also extremely banalised by the book. She says that vasectomies can be reversed all the time, but still, if you're scared, you can easily bank your sperm. Banking sperm is an extremely costly process. Again, not everyone can afford it.
I will finish this review by saying that I DO recommend reading this book. If only for the deep thinking it pushes you do. However, it's important to be critical throughout the book.
Thank you NetGalley, Workman Publishing Company and the author for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.