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A review by ghostboyreads
Meth-DTF by Shane Jesse Christmass
4.5
"Samuel is immobile and says unusual things - something about nervous breakdowns. Missiles over Mandeville Canyon. Body in the bedroom. Electric cord wrapped around neck - motor oil on the carpet - ratchet cogs inside Samuel's skull. Our bodies shudder - auditory hallucinations ... dark animals on the Alvarado Freeway."
Review updated as of my re-read (4.2.25-5.2.25) loved it even more than the first time.
Meth-DTF could have just as easily been titled Sex, Drugs, Death the novella, though, that's not exactly what one could call an impactful title, is it? Books as experimental as this one present such a challenge when it comes to describing them, because even now, all these years into my reading journey, this is still the most experimental, drug fueled fever-dream I've ever experienced. Meth-DTF is a nightmarish hellscape, an enrapturing apocalypse where each paragraph screams of delirium from a drugged up protagonist and his maybe boyfriend who might be dead, actually, but, also might not be dead because hallucination and reality have begun to blur too much. What even is this novel? What the actual fuck did I subject myself to?
In its most simple form, Meth-DTF is a deranged, dystopic, and fucking depressing novel full of depravity and violence. It paints the most beautifully wretched picture of an L.A. that's completely soaked in neon and blood, this is the perfect novel for those who are in desperate need of a lobotomy. Brutal as all hell, erratic as fuck, shocking vivid and horrible, Meth-DTF reads like the ravings of a complete lunatic who is dead-set on forcing us to lose our minds within an acid washed and eroding city. It's a schizophrenic, kaleidoscopic, hedonistic masterpiece that's equal parts beautiful and horrific. It's streets lined with corpses, dingy motel rooms that never lose their tobacco stench, it's intimacy with the person you adore the most, and it's all doused in nihilism and gasoline and left to burn.
Review updated as of my re-read (4.2.25-5.2.25) loved it even more than the first time.
Meth-DTF could have just as easily been titled Sex, Drugs, Death the novella, though, that's not exactly what one could call an impactful title, is it? Books as experimental as this one present such a challenge when it comes to describing them, because even now, all these years into my reading journey, this is still the most experimental, drug fueled fever-dream I've ever experienced. Meth-DTF is a nightmarish hellscape, an enrapturing apocalypse where each paragraph screams of delirium from a drugged up protagonist and his maybe boyfriend who might be dead, actually, but, also might not be dead because hallucination and reality have begun to blur too much. What even is this novel? What the actual fuck did I subject myself to?
In its most simple form, Meth-DTF is a deranged, dystopic, and fucking depressing novel full of depravity and violence. It paints the most beautifully wretched picture of an L.A. that's completely soaked in neon and blood, this is the perfect novel for those who are in desperate need of a lobotomy. Brutal as all hell, erratic as fuck, shocking vivid and horrible, Meth-DTF reads like the ravings of a complete lunatic who is dead-set on forcing us to lose our minds within an acid washed and eroding city. It's a schizophrenic, kaleidoscopic, hedonistic masterpiece that's equal parts beautiful and horrific. It's streets lined with corpses, dingy motel rooms that never lose their tobacco stench, it's intimacy with the person you adore the most, and it's all doused in nihilism and gasoline and left to burn.
"Samuel and I go out ... The sky above Hermosa Beach. I am happy. I know my heart is still in there ... inside me ... barely working. That little bit of me is almost gone ... far away ... the whole thing ... just gone. When Samuel comes back ... to the motel room ... he will understand ... sadness."
Paranoia in print form is the perfect phrase to describe this book. Never has there been a book that so greatly made me want to stab myself. This is a tale for the distressed - stripped back and left it at its most disgustingly plain. Meth-DTF is painful to experience in the very best possible way, it's the sort of ruinous, catastrophic novel that rewires your entire brain. It's utterly nasty, Meth-DTF is full of some of the most sickening yet striking and enthralling words. If you're looking for a book that will make you feel as if you're trapped in an asylum slowly losing your mind, then this is the very book for you. It is the singular novel to welcome us into the future. The future being a pit from which we shall never, ever escape.
"I see how little I deserve to live. Samuel and I are all one entity - flesh - and bones. All this life is one. There is no death. Lights out. Light up."