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A review by tobyw
The Honey Witch by Sydney J. Shields
lighthearted
relaxing
medium-paced
2.5
Very disappointingly un-good. I was suckered in by the cute premise and pretty cover; I'm not really a huge fantasy or "cosy fantasy" person, but I have no genres that I inherently dislike. I think books are just well-written, or they aren't. In this case, the book was not well-written (nor was it well-edited).
The voice: Someone needs to start teaching writers how perspectives work, again. This book was neither omniscient nor limited third, nor free indirect discourse. It was floating and inconsistent, particularly when it came to vocabulary and tone. The narration flipped between attempts at humour in Marigold's own internal narration and more distantly recounting events. Everything was over-explained to death. There is a huge amount of redundancy in the narration. The same idea is stated over and over again. Anything that happens gets repeated so that the audience gets the idea. Are you getting the idea? This is where I take issue with the editor. A phrase like "warm yellow heat" making it into the final novel should immediately result in a pink slip. WHAT OTHER KIND OF HEAT IS THERE? COLD HEAT?
Pacing & structure: This seemed like a first draft. The author was just brimming with Marigold's backstory and couldn't resist telling us information so irrelevant that I will not bother writing it down here. The entire sequence with Marigold's family at the beginning should have been cut, and it occupies the first 25% of the book. The ending needed much more time than it got.Lottie's fake out death was skipped past so easily that it made everything that followed very confusing, stakes-wise.
Characters & romance: Marigold was fine. Althea did not get enough time on-page to build her relationship with Marigold. August was fine. Lottie... Oh, Lottie. She exists only as the word "Grumpy" in the "grumpy/sunshine" ao3 tag until she and Marigold admit their feelings for one another, at which point her character trait is erased and replaced with "in love." Marigold is similarly wiped clean and substituted with generic lover juice. Their dialogue could have been swapped in many of their scenes together without any noticeable difference. I was not compelled by their romance for that reason; it didn't feel like two different people fitting together as a couple, it felt like two mirrors pointed at each other.
Magic & worldbuilding: I don't have much to say about the magic. I've seen others complain about it in their reviews, but I felt like the tone of the story fitted the rather loose approach to any kind of magic system. The worldbuilding is the real problem. What is it with these kinds of novels and their obsession with erasing homophobia and racism, but not misogyny? (Obviously transgender people don't exist). Homophobia and misogyny (and racism) are deeply intertwined, but I seem to encounter so many novels where they are cleanly separated, and homophobia is dusted away while misogyny is applied only to mothers and Evil Men so that the protagonist can have her Not Like Other Girlbosses moment. The complaint with magic that I do have is the soulmate stuff. I just think it's very odd and absurd--too fanfiction-esque to be shoehorned into the novel like that without further justification.
Writing style: Where art thou, editor. This needed a much, much harsher editor to put their foot down and liberally cross out some of Shields's more unforgivably self-indulgent passages. The authorial voice is so oppressive and all-consuming that the dialogue of every character is inevitably swallowed up in it at some point. Marigold can hardly mention her dead grandmother without some side character piping up to wax lyrical about how grief is like a creature made of teacups and windowsills who smothers pancakes with cotton sheets. The editor also should have caught her heavy reliance on the passive voice. Also,the praise kink tattoo scene is ripped straight from a Tumblr post, but I suppose every editor can't be expected to know that.
Plot holes & twists: This was not a very tightly plotted book. Plenty of things did not make sense with the established stakes/circumstances/worldbuilding. A few particularly egregious ones-- first, when Marigold has been repeatedly having visions of Innisfree on fire, and her grandmother has already warned her that Versa the ash witch will eventually return to try to claim Innisfree for herself.... Marigold receives a letter from her sister, who is getting married, and decides to drop everything for a little vacation. She doesn't even consider the possibility that her visions of the fiery future might occur when she is away from home. Second, Lottie forgets the nursery rhymes that she takes with her everywhere, but incomprehensibly elects to bring a full kit of tattooing supplies on a trip to someone else's sister's wedding. It was so ridiculous I almost laughed out of sheer irritation. As for the plot twists, well...Obviously Lottie was an ash witch. It was evident from the moment her red hair was mentioned. I would have enjoyed Marigold more as a character if she'd managed to piece that together.
Problematic content: There isn't any. Because the book keeps turning to you, the reader, and promising that nothing problematic is happening. Every time any magic involving love is mentioned, Althea or Marigold immediately and unprompted declares that magic cannot force anyone into love, and that it only leads them to their soulmate. When Marigold is briefly scornful of a society woman seeking help in attracting her suitor, Althea lectures her about Women's Right to Make Choices, absolving Marigold of her not-like-other-girls tendencies, which tidily never reappear. The stakes generally remain extremely low and no character confronts major flaws or grows from them; Marigold's mother is depicted as awful and controlling early on, as is typical with books like these, and then does a 180 later for no reason that we are privvy to, other than that Marigold leaving made her realize that she couldn't protect her forever (?) (except even after Marigold was gone, she still wouldn't write to her, so ... no, we don't know how her change of heart occurred). Marigold's father is obviously a saint and must do no learning or growing as a parent. Even with this shying away from conflict, the book still has a misogynistic streak. Marigold on-paper supports other women, but Shields can't resist turning incidental female characters into scheming bitches for no real reason.
As much as I've criticized it, there were things to like about it. In the hands of a much better editor, this could have been a wonderful whimsical book. It's a pity the author got away with so much, because the book suffers heavily for it.
All in all, it's like someone half-remembered Circe, watched one series of Bridgerton (complete with a modiste named Genevieve, which is too bizarrely specific to be an accident), and scrolled through some Pinterest cottagecore moodboards. Somehow, the Taylor Swift and WB Yeats references didn't save it.
The voice: Someone needs to start teaching writers how perspectives work, again. This book was neither omniscient nor limited third, nor free indirect discourse. It was floating and inconsistent, particularly when it came to vocabulary and tone. The narration flipped between attempts at humour in Marigold's own internal narration and more distantly recounting events. Everything was over-explained to death. There is a huge amount of redundancy in the narration. The same idea is stated over and over again. Anything that happens gets repeated so that the audience gets the idea. Are you getting the idea? This is where I take issue with the editor. A phrase like "warm yellow heat" making it into the final novel should immediately result in a pink slip. WHAT OTHER KIND OF HEAT IS THERE? COLD HEAT?
Pacing & structure: This seemed like a first draft. The author was just brimming with Marigold's backstory and couldn't resist telling us information so irrelevant that I will not bother writing it down here. The entire sequence with Marigold's family at the beginning should have been cut, and it occupies the first 25% of the book. The ending needed much more time than it got.
Characters & romance: Marigold was fine. Althea did not get enough time on-page to build her relationship with Marigold. August was fine. Lottie... Oh, Lottie. She exists only as the word "Grumpy" in the "grumpy/sunshine" ao3 tag until she and Marigold admit their feelings for one another, at which point her character trait is erased and replaced with "in love." Marigold is similarly wiped clean and substituted with generic lover juice. Their dialogue could have been swapped in many of their scenes together without any noticeable difference. I was not compelled by their romance for that reason; it didn't feel like two different people fitting together as a couple, it felt like two mirrors pointed at each other.
Magic & worldbuilding: I don't have much to say about the magic. I've seen others complain about it in their reviews, but I felt like the tone of the story fitted the rather loose approach to any kind of magic system. The worldbuilding is the real problem. What is it with these kinds of novels and their obsession with erasing homophobia and racism, but not misogyny? (Obviously transgender people don't exist). Homophobia and misogyny (and racism) are deeply intertwined, but I seem to encounter so many novels where they are cleanly separated, and homophobia is dusted away while misogyny is applied only to mothers and Evil Men so that the protagonist can have her Not Like Other Girlbosses moment. The complaint with magic that I do have is the soulmate stuff. I just think it's very odd and absurd--too fanfiction-esque to be shoehorned into the novel like that without further justification.
Writing style: Where art thou, editor. This needed a much, much harsher editor to put their foot down and liberally cross out some of Shields's more unforgivably self-indulgent passages. The authorial voice is so oppressive and all-consuming that the dialogue of every character is inevitably swallowed up in it at some point. Marigold can hardly mention her dead grandmother without some side character piping up to wax lyrical about how grief is like a creature made of teacups and windowsills who smothers pancakes with cotton sheets. The editor also should have caught her heavy reliance on the passive voice. Also,
Plot holes & twists: This was not a very tightly plotted book. Plenty of things did not make sense with the established stakes/circumstances/worldbuilding. A few particularly egregious ones-- first, when Marigold has been repeatedly having visions of Innisfree on fire, and her grandmother has already warned her that Versa the ash witch will eventually return to try to claim Innisfree for herself.... Marigold receives a letter from her sister, who is getting married, and decides to drop everything for a little vacation. She doesn't even consider the possibility that her visions of the fiery future might occur when she is away from home. Second, Lottie forgets the nursery rhymes that she takes with her everywhere, but incomprehensibly elects to bring a full kit of tattooing supplies on a trip to someone else's sister's wedding. It was so ridiculous I almost laughed out of sheer irritation. As for the plot twists, well...
Problematic content: There isn't any. Because the book keeps turning to you, the reader, and promising that nothing problematic is happening. Every time any magic involving love is mentioned, Althea or Marigold immediately and unprompted declares that magic cannot force anyone into love, and that it only leads them to their soulmate. When Marigold is briefly scornful of a society woman seeking help in attracting her suitor, Althea lectures her about Women's Right to Make Choices, absolving Marigold of her not-like-other-girls tendencies, which tidily never reappear. The stakes generally remain extremely low and no character confronts major flaws or grows from them; Marigold's mother is depicted as awful and controlling early on, as is typical with books like these, and then does a 180 later for no reason that we are privvy to, other than that Marigold leaving made her realize that she couldn't protect her forever (?) (except even after Marigold was gone, she still wouldn't write to her, so ... no, we don't know how her change of heart occurred). Marigold's father is obviously a saint and must do no learning or growing as a parent. Even with this shying away from conflict, the book still has a misogynistic streak. Marigold on-paper supports other women, but Shields can't resist turning incidental female characters into scheming bitches for no real reason.
As much as I've criticized it, there were things to like about it. In the hands of a much better editor, this could have been a wonderful whimsical book. It's a pity the author got away with so much, because the book suffers heavily for it.
All in all, it's like someone half-remembered Circe, watched one series of Bridgerton (complete with a modiste named Genevieve, which is too bizarrely specific to be an accident), and scrolled through some Pinterest cottagecore moodboards. Somehow, the Taylor Swift and WB Yeats references didn't save it.