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A review by helpfulsnowman
Teen Boat! by Dave Roman, John Patrick Green
2.0
Fun. Y'know, the illustration is pretty great. I'd give it a boost there. How someone illustrates ideas like this, that's miracles. I don't care what ICP says.
The story is pretty one note. It's a funny note, so it works. But, you know.
It made me think, though. Teen Boat(which is the kid's actual name)is unlike a lot of super-powered people in that he seems pretty pleased with his powers. Even though the power to turn into a boat doesn't SEEM all that useful or awesome.
It made me think, how would I feel if given various, lousy powers from other comic books?
+Paste Pot Pete
Hey, we have the same name! That makes this simpler. Unless I have to change my name. Is Pete his real name or his villain name? Anyway, this guy shoots a glue gun. Not like a hot glue gun for arts and crafts. A blobby paste gun that is good for crimes and crafts (crafts are universal). Although this isn't so much a power as a special gun, it would make for an interesting case in terms of weapons laws, I suppose.
+Super Pro
I had the first couple issues of Super Pro, the story of a man who was...gassed? Covered in acid? The story of a guy who got fucked up in some unimportant manner and then crawled to safety into an NFL super football player suit, which he then used to fight crimes. I guess, at least, I could make money playing football. That's something. But the idea of being a branded superhero is fairly repellant.
+Vibe (original)
I say "original" because Vibe came back in 2013, and Batman taught him how to fight. Having Batman teach you how to fight, that's got to be pretty much the best, right? It's like Wonder Woman teaching you how to deflect bullets or Superman teaching you how to...be folksy and make faces like mischievous kids in The Saturday Evening Post. Vibe does something with vibrations, but he's also an awesome breakdancer. I think this is a great skill. Who is the hero of EVERY wedding now? Who actually LOOK FORWARD to a wedding invitation as it's a chance to pop, lock, and BREAK? Yeah.
+Squirrel Girl
Aw, man. How's this for bad, I always thought Squirrel Girl was cute and nice. I don't want to make fun of Squirrel Girl.
+Teen Boat
Hmm...I guess I'd have to move to the coast. Or become a key player in the filming of nudity videos filmed at spots like Lake Powell and Lake Havasu.
The story is pretty one note. It's a funny note, so it works. But, you know.
It made me think, though. Teen Boat(which is the kid's actual name)is unlike a lot of super-powered people in that he seems pretty pleased with his powers. Even though the power to turn into a boat doesn't SEEM all that useful or awesome.
It made me think, how would I feel if given various, lousy powers from other comic books?
+Paste Pot Pete
Hey, we have the same name! That makes this simpler. Unless I have to change my name. Is Pete his real name or his villain name? Anyway, this guy shoots a glue gun. Not like a hot glue gun for arts and crafts. A blobby paste gun that is good for crimes and crafts (crafts are universal). Although this isn't so much a power as a special gun, it would make for an interesting case in terms of weapons laws, I suppose.
+Super Pro
I had the first couple issues of Super Pro, the story of a man who was...gassed? Covered in acid? The story of a guy who got fucked up in some unimportant manner and then crawled to safety into an NFL super football player suit, which he then used to fight crimes. I guess, at least, I could make money playing football. That's something. But the idea of being a branded superhero is fairly repellant.
+Vibe (original)
I say "original" because Vibe came back in 2013, and Batman taught him how to fight. Having Batman teach you how to fight, that's got to be pretty much the best, right? It's like Wonder Woman teaching you how to deflect bullets or Superman teaching you how to...be folksy and make faces like mischievous kids in The Saturday Evening Post. Vibe does something with vibrations, but he's also an awesome breakdancer. I think this is a great skill. Who is the hero of EVERY wedding now? Who actually LOOK FORWARD to a wedding invitation as it's a chance to pop, lock, and BREAK? Yeah.
+Squirrel Girl
Aw, man. How's this for bad, I always thought Squirrel Girl was cute and nice. I don't want to make fun of Squirrel Girl.
+Teen Boat
Hmm...I guess I'd have to move to the coast. Or become a key player in the filming of nudity videos filmed at spots like Lake Powell and Lake Havasu.