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A review by lanamower
The Memory of Running by Ron McLarty
2.0
Boobs, boobs, boobs. I never realized how many ways boobs could be described until I started reading this book. From nipples seemingly staring skyward to breasts straining and yearning to be freed from every type of fabric. Not only was the constant description of boobs "ick-worthy," but it added nothing to the story or description of characters.
Which is one of my main complaints about this book. The characters are 1-dimensional at best and extremely unlike-able at worst. All of the women are reduced to, in a shockingly old-fashioned way, walking boob-holders, sexy sluts, simpering morons unreasonably obsessed with the main character, or the beautiful kind-type in need of rescuing. The main character's sister, whose existence takes up about 40% of the book, I literally knew nothing about beyond her having small, perky breasts, that she's beautiful, and has possible schizophrenia. Like all women in this book, she only serves as an excuse to describe boobs or to propel the main character's story forward.
And the main character is a moronic, drunk, useless bland personality of a man. I'm supposed to believe that women would throw themselves at a 300 lb., hardly showers, has no job, dude who mostly says, "that's nice" and "I don't know?" And before you come at me, let's swap the sex. Would you believe men would throw themselves at a 300 lb., hardly showers, has no job, chick who mostly says, "that's nice" and "I don't know"? Nope.
I quit this book at a particularly boring section that summed up how torturous (on top of everything else) this book was for me. If you enjoy this, you'll LOVE the book:
The store smells good, like lettuce and coffee, and I was getting hungry. I wondered if they had those thick apple squares with frosting on them. I could have a few of those with some soda. I was dry.
"Cigarettes too," I said out loud.
"Yeeees?" a young woman at the checkout said.
"I was just...um. I guess I need....You know those big apple squares that come two in a pack and they're covered with apple frosting?"
"I'm not sure."
"I'll look around."
The vegetables looked pretty. I never look at vegetables because I don't eat them anymore unless they're a potato. Except corn. I'll eat corn. I walked over to the cookie section and I found the apple squares right away. I picked up four packages and then I got a quart of root beer. I was very hungry now and realized I hadn't eaten anything in a while. Last night anyway. I put the root beer back and got a quart of beer. I read where beer had lots of nutrients and things. I put the apple squares and beer on the counter.
"Two packs of Winstons too."
The girl reached for the cigarettes and I reached for my money.
"Wait a sec, I might have left my money...cryin' outloud. I might have forgotten my money..." I walked out to the bike and went through my suit jacket and found four quarters. Jesus Christ. I went back in.
"I gotta put all the stuff back. I only found a dollar."
She put the Winstons back and I put the beer and the apple squares back.
"Bananas are 6 for $1. I won't charge any tax," she said.
I hadn't had a banana in years and years.
"Six for $1?" They all smelled good, and I picked the ones that had the least brown spots. I gave her four quarters and took a long drink of water near the fountain by the door. Then I ate three bananas outside. Bananas are easy to chew and they fill you.
THE END.
Like seriously...what??? I kinda think the author was purposely trying to bore me to death. Why else would someone not edit out an entire description of the most boring (and useless to the story) interaction ever? No thanks!
Which is one of my main complaints about this book. The characters are 1-dimensional at best and extremely unlike-able at worst. All of the women are reduced to, in a shockingly old-fashioned way, walking boob-holders, sexy sluts, simpering morons unreasonably obsessed with the main character, or the beautiful kind-type in need of rescuing. The main character's sister, whose existence takes up about 40% of the book, I literally knew nothing about beyond her having small, perky breasts, that she's beautiful, and has possible schizophrenia. Like all women in this book, she only serves as an excuse to describe boobs or to propel the main character's story forward.
And the main character is a moronic, drunk, useless bland personality of a man. I'm supposed to believe that women would throw themselves at a 300 lb., hardly showers, has no job, dude who mostly says, "that's nice" and "I don't know?" And before you come at me, let's swap the sex. Would you believe men would throw themselves at a 300 lb., hardly showers, has no job, chick who mostly says, "that's nice" and "I don't know"? Nope.
I quit this book at a particularly boring section that summed up how torturous (on top of everything else) this book was for me. If you enjoy this, you'll LOVE the book:
The store smells good, like lettuce and coffee, and I was getting hungry. I wondered if they had those thick apple squares with frosting on them. I could have a few of those with some soda. I was dry.
"Cigarettes too," I said out loud.
"Yeeees?" a young woman at the checkout said.
"I was just...um. I guess I need....You know those big apple squares that come two in a pack and they're covered with apple frosting?"
"I'm not sure."
"I'll look around."
The vegetables looked pretty. I never look at vegetables because I don't eat them anymore unless they're a potato. Except corn. I'll eat corn. I walked over to the cookie section and I found the apple squares right away. I picked up four packages and then I got a quart of root beer. I was very hungry now and realized I hadn't eaten anything in a while. Last night anyway. I put the root beer back and got a quart of beer. I read where beer had lots of nutrients and things. I put the apple squares and beer on the counter.
"Two packs of Winstons too."
The girl reached for the cigarettes and I reached for my money.
"Wait a sec, I might have left my money...cryin' outloud. I might have forgotten my money..." I walked out to the bike and went through my suit jacket and found four quarters. Jesus Christ. I went back in.
"I gotta put all the stuff back. I only found a dollar."
She put the Winstons back and I put the beer and the apple squares back.
"Bananas are 6 for $1. I won't charge any tax," she said.
I hadn't had a banana in years and years.
"Six for $1?" They all smelled good, and I picked the ones that had the least brown spots. I gave her four quarters and took a long drink of water near the fountain by the door. Then I ate three bananas outside. Bananas are easy to chew and they fill you.
THE END.
Like seriously...what??? I kinda think the author was purposely trying to bore me to death. Why else would someone not edit out an entire description of the most boring (and useless to the story) interaction ever? No thanks!