roralore 's review for:

This Woven Kingdom by Tahereh Mafi

1.0

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Do you want dialogue that feels like an AI generated Shakespearen comedy that never made it into the folios? Prompted by a middle schooler? Dialogue that’s trying really fucking hard to sound like the 18th century kind and conversations that last 15 pages, wherein the same damn point gets repeated again and again and we never GET ANYWHERE? Do you want characters that tell tell tell and absolutely no showing? Do you HATE plot and want your book to be the kind where nothing ever happens? A female character that is all-powerful and super important but for some reason chose submission and abuse for five years until a dude came into her life?  And the dude is a fucking idiot asshole? And they fall in love because….well, because! Because we want a romance plot, of course! Oh? and do you want an ending so stupid, a build-up to a sequel so astoundingly boring, full of MORE UNREALISTIC DIALOGUE THAT DRAGS ON AND ON AND ON? I got just the thing for you!