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A review by essayem
We Are Not Ourselves by Matthew Thomas
5.0
I really loved this book, and a part from that, I loved the experience of reading it.
It's described as "sprawling family epic" -- so you should know from the start, you're about to spend a decent amount of time with this family. If you don't dig character-driven plots, don't dig into this book.
The narrative focuses on the life of Eileen Leary (nee Tumulty) as she grows up in Queens, the daughter of first-generation Irish-American immigrants. Her Mother is distant, depressed and an alcoholic and her Father, while tough, is as supportive as he knows how and somewhat larger than life in the local Irish community. Eileen, like many, dreams of getting out of her hometown and achieving the things her parents didn't, in an effort to live what she believes will ultimately be a better life.
Eileen meets Ed Leary, a scientist - who is unlike the men she's dated in the past. He's brilliant and kind and she imagines him taking her into a higher, wealthier social sphere. They marry, and Eileen is painfully slow on the uptake that Ed is resistant to that higher, wealthier world - he prefers intimate conversations to big parties; he prefers to teach at a community college instead of NYU, ostensibly because the community college kids are more deserving of his Ivy League education; he's happy with the first house they own because it works while Eileen is always trying to improve her situation, if only on a superficial level.
As the years go on--Ed has, what the primary review refers to as a "psychological shift" that readers will pick up on way before Eileen. It's frustrating to watch them both, as well as their son, Connell, come to terms (if they ever truly do) with their evolving circumstances and how it will affect their future. It's so captivating at this point - because, as a reader, you are engrained with Eileen - the book is mostly told from her perspective and while she may not be overwhelmingly likable, she does seem the most real character I've read in years.
I, and likely other readers, kept waiting for Eileen to make the decision I wanted her to make versus the decisions she does. In that way, Thomas does an incredible job of keep Eileen true to who she is - who these years of marriage, these years of wars and jobs and houses and extended families, these years of life -- have made her. Her depiction feels honest and, as the description reads "Life is more than a tally of victories and defeats" - I felt like that line is apt for this book, and for Eileen. Sadly, something she, and maybe others, realize too late in the game.
Chad Harbach is blurbed on the back, which is ironic, because this is the first book since his "Art of Fielding" in 2012, that covered a similar amount of time and where I felt so engaged with the characters. Just a phenomenal book that I was sad to finish.
It's described as "sprawling family epic" -- so you should know from the start, you're about to spend a decent amount of time with this family. If you don't dig character-driven plots, don't dig into this book.
The narrative focuses on the life of Eileen Leary (nee Tumulty) as she grows up in Queens, the daughter of first-generation Irish-American immigrants. Her Mother is distant, depressed and an alcoholic and her Father, while tough, is as supportive as he knows how and somewhat larger than life in the local Irish community. Eileen, like many, dreams of getting out of her hometown and achieving the things her parents didn't, in an effort to live what she believes will ultimately be a better life.
Eileen meets Ed Leary, a scientist - who is unlike the men she's dated in the past. He's brilliant and kind and she imagines him taking her into a higher, wealthier social sphere. They marry, and Eileen is painfully slow on the uptake that Ed is resistant to that higher, wealthier world - he prefers intimate conversations to big parties; he prefers to teach at a community college instead of NYU, ostensibly because the community college kids are more deserving of his Ivy League education; he's happy with the first house they own because it works while Eileen is always trying to improve her situation, if only on a superficial level.
As the years go on--Ed has, what the primary review refers to as a "psychological shift" that readers will pick up on way before Eileen. It's frustrating to watch them both, as well as their son, Connell, come to terms (if they ever truly do) with their evolving circumstances and how it will affect their future. It's so captivating at this point - because, as a reader, you are engrained with Eileen - the book is mostly told from her perspective and while she may not be overwhelmingly likable, she does seem the most real character I've read in years.
I, and likely other readers, kept waiting for Eileen to make the decision I wanted her to make versus the decisions she does. In that way, Thomas does an incredible job of keep Eileen true to who she is - who these years of marriage, these years of wars and jobs and houses and extended families, these years of life -- have made her. Her depiction feels honest and, as the description reads "Life is more than a tally of victories and defeats" - I felt like that line is apt for this book, and for Eileen. Sadly, something she, and maybe others, realize too late in the game.
Chad Harbach is blurbed on the back, which is ironic, because this is the first book since his "Art of Fielding" in 2012, that covered a similar amount of time and where I felt so engaged with the characters. Just a phenomenal book that I was sad to finish.