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A review by katykelly
More Orgasms Please: Why Female Pleasure Matters by The Hotbed Collective
5.0
Empowering is the word - explicitly candid yet hilariously entertainingly look at the rarely-discussed area of female pleasure.
First thing - I am about to look up the podcast, now into its second year, having just completed this audiobook. I'd never heard of it, but will be both recommending the book and I suspect the original podcasts to friends.
The title caught my eye on Audible, its an area that probably has interest for every woman, whether we admit it or not. As a student of psychology, this held an extra layer of interest for me: just what does society see as the different between male and female sexual pleasure?
The authors/narrators are excellent in their format and chatty tone. Never dictatorial, dry or condescending, it is basically an elongated podcast episode broken down into chapters, with jokes, euphemisms, roleplays and a huge amount of frank and uplifting talk that means embarrassment goes quickly out of the window and a sense of unity and sisterhood come to the fore.
With facts at their fingertips on who, how and when, sexual pleasure is both normalised and celebrated, we have some illuminating figures on the truth about body parts, their capabilities and anatomies. Some rather alarming statistics on orgasms (or lack of).
The chapters (different and more racy titles in the audio!) are as follows:
- What are orgasms?
- Bad sex
- Clitoris
- Orgasms as a feminist issue
- Sex education
- Self image
- Sexual fantasy
- Oral sex
- Anal sex
- Porn
- Lies in sex
- Kissing
- Hormones
- Pelvic floor
- Long term relationships
- Growing old
- Future of sex
- Resources
It was a varied and very comprehensive look at female sexual queries across the spectrum. And not just for heretosexual women.
From the science of orgasms, biology, the useful information on pelvic floors and how hormones affect us, all the way to some frankly riotous roleplays of customers asking for lube for various sexual scenarios, it was both educational and highly entertaining. I laughed aloud while running and listening along.
The seriousness of sexual abuse isn't shied away from, there is a whole chapter at the end of resources and contacts to be made use of. And the emphasis on safe and comfortable sex is reiterated several times.
The authors don't give it all an omniscient spin, they bring their own sexual history and stories into the mix, though some of their stories of adolescent naivety could make the average woman cringe. Brilliant, honest and a rather universal experience on the whole.
Some very good points are made regarding porn and sexual education (or the lack of a comprehensive and useful one) in schools, and some excellent motivation is offered on allowing yourself to fantasize as you wish, to demand equal pleasure with your partner's, to enjoy sex in a mutually consensual relationship as you see fit, and to not be embarrassed by any of the above, or the body you've been gifted for enjoying it in.
I'll be subtly sounding out friends who might enjoy / benefit from this and taking on board some of the attitudes and advice offered here, as well as subscribing the Hotbed's podcast.
Not just for women, men will gain a lot from listening to this and pondering perspectives and ways forward in their relationships as well. For women, I'd take this as a study guide to making sure you are getting what you can out of whichever world of pleasure you wish to inhabit.
With thanks to Nudge Books for providing a sample Audible copy.
First thing - I am about to look up the podcast, now into its second year, having just completed this audiobook. I'd never heard of it, but will be both recommending the book and I suspect the original podcasts to friends.
The title caught my eye on Audible, its an area that probably has interest for every woman, whether we admit it or not. As a student of psychology, this held an extra layer of interest for me: just what does society see as the different between male and female sexual pleasure?
The authors/narrators are excellent in their format and chatty tone. Never dictatorial, dry or condescending, it is basically an elongated podcast episode broken down into chapters, with jokes, euphemisms, roleplays and a huge amount of frank and uplifting talk that means embarrassment goes quickly out of the window and a sense of unity and sisterhood come to the fore.
With facts at their fingertips on who, how and when, sexual pleasure is both normalised and celebrated, we have some illuminating figures on the truth about body parts, their capabilities and anatomies. Some rather alarming statistics on orgasms (or lack of).
The chapters (different and more racy titles in the audio!) are as follows:
- What are orgasms?
- Bad sex
- Clitoris
- Orgasms as a feminist issue
- Sex education
- Self image
- Sexual fantasy
- Oral sex
- Anal sex
- Porn
- Lies in sex
- Kissing
- Hormones
- Pelvic floor
- Long term relationships
- Growing old
- Future of sex
- Resources
It was a varied and very comprehensive look at female sexual queries across the spectrum. And not just for heretosexual women.
From the science of orgasms, biology, the useful information on pelvic floors and how hormones affect us, all the way to some frankly riotous roleplays of customers asking for lube for various sexual scenarios, it was both educational and highly entertaining. I laughed aloud while running and listening along.
The seriousness of sexual abuse isn't shied away from, there is a whole chapter at the end of resources and contacts to be made use of. And the emphasis on safe and comfortable sex is reiterated several times.
The authors don't give it all an omniscient spin, they bring their own sexual history and stories into the mix, though some of their stories of adolescent naivety could make the average woman cringe. Brilliant, honest and a rather universal experience on the whole.
Some very good points are made regarding porn and sexual education (or the lack of a comprehensive and useful one) in schools, and some excellent motivation is offered on allowing yourself to fantasize as you wish, to demand equal pleasure with your partner's, to enjoy sex in a mutually consensual relationship as you see fit, and to not be embarrassed by any of the above, or the body you've been gifted for enjoying it in.
I'll be subtly sounding out friends who might enjoy / benefit from this and taking on board some of the attitudes and advice offered here, as well as subscribing the Hotbed's podcast.
Not just for women, men will gain a lot from listening to this and pondering perspectives and ways forward in their relationships as well. For women, I'd take this as a study guide to making sure you are getting what you can out of whichever world of pleasure you wish to inhabit.
With thanks to Nudge Books for providing a sample Audible copy.