_sapphirebubble_ 's review for:

The Astonishing Colour of After by Emily X.R. Pan

4.0

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The Astonishing Colour of After is the story of befores and afters. There was a life before that seems totally unimaginable from the after, but you can see the threads from before that led to the after. The protagonist, Leigh, loses her mother when she commits suicide and leaves a note that says “I want you to remember.” A beautiful, big red bird, which Leigh is convinced is now her mother, leads Leigh to Taiwan where she meets her estranged maternal grandparents for the first time. There she begins to unravel the mystery of her mother’s life and her death. The memories that have been buried deep and never talked about surface in Leigh’s mind as she runs after the red bird. The time to talk to the red bird grows shorter each day, and there will come a day when the bird will be gone for sure.

I found a lot of things relatable in this book, many of which made me cry. The struggle that Leigh goes through trying to decipher her mother’s life before her and of connecting with her grandparents who she doesn’t understand because of their difference in languages is something that we can all somehow relate to. The thought of things being kept from us can eat us inside out. As Leigh finishes her journey gracefully, and sometimes not so gracefully, there is a sense of contentment but also a deep ache.

The writing is beautiful but it lacks a certain expertise. Nonetheless, you are swept in this story of the paranormal clashing with the normal; and, somehow, making the normal more coherent. The thing I love most about this book is that it gave me the most accurate description of how my grandmother’s hands felt on my scalp when she did my hair—certain and gentle.

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