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rennegade 's review for:
Oof, probably closer to a 1.5, but I will round up.
I thought I was the target audience for this book. I am outspoken about being childfree and the steps I've taken to maintain control of my reproductive abilities. As part of my journey to get sterilized as a childless woman in my twenties, I faced a lot of backlash and vitriol and a million of the same, unnecessary questions ("Who will take care of you?" "What if you regret it?" "What if your future husband wants kids?"). That seemed to be the foundation for this book, so I was excited to read about someone in the same position as me and see how she responds to the population at large who continue to question the womanhood of people who do not want children.
Unfortunately, I was mostly disappointed. There were a couple of times that she said something that could have easily been word-for-word something I would say, but most of the time she was just smug and kind of shitty. In order to make her point, she often had to resort to dragging other women down. Look, I get it. It is endlessly frustrating to have people tell you that you haven't experienced real love until you've had a child. Or that your life doesn't have meaning if you choose to actively not procreate. These are all things I've heard, too. But Kirkman spends way too much of that book bodyshaming mothers, which is insanely offputting to me. She gloats how she doesn't have stretchmarks or saggy boobs or extra stomach skin like the moms she talks to. She also seems to take a perverse pleasure in mothers who are unhappy in motherhood. I don't relish in the thought of people being so miserable with something that is so life-altering, so I just cannot get on board with the, "Haha! Let's point and laugh at the women who ruined their lives!" bit that she kept trying to push.
I get that she is a comedian, and a lot of funny people go with shock humor, but most of what she wrote just fell really flat for me, and I cringed every time she commented nastily on peoples' appearances. This book was not for me, which is a shame. I would like to see more exploration of 'childfree by choice' without it becoming people bragging about how they have amazing lives while people who chose parenthood do not.
I thought I was the target audience for this book. I am outspoken about being childfree and the steps I've taken to maintain control of my reproductive abilities. As part of my journey to get sterilized as a childless woman in my twenties, I faced a lot of backlash and vitriol and a million of the same, unnecessary questions ("Who will take care of you?" "What if you regret it?" "What if your future husband wants kids?"). That seemed to be the foundation for this book, so I was excited to read about someone in the same position as me and see how she responds to the population at large who continue to question the womanhood of people who do not want children.
Unfortunately, I was mostly disappointed. There were a couple of times that she said something that could have easily been word-for-word something I would say, but most of the time she was just smug and kind of shitty. In order to make her point, she often had to resort to dragging other women down. Look, I get it. It is endlessly frustrating to have people tell you that you haven't experienced real love until you've had a child. Or that your life doesn't have meaning if you choose to actively not procreate. These are all things I've heard, too. But Kirkman spends way too much of that book bodyshaming mothers, which is insanely offputting to me. She gloats how she doesn't have stretchmarks or saggy boobs or extra stomach skin like the moms she talks to. She also seems to take a perverse pleasure in mothers who are unhappy in motherhood. I don't relish in the thought of people being so miserable with something that is so life-altering, so I just cannot get on board with the, "Haha! Let's point and laugh at the women who ruined their lives!" bit that she kept trying to push.
I get that she is a comedian, and a lot of funny people go with shock humor, but most of what she wrote just fell really flat for me, and I cringed every time she commented nastily on peoples' appearances. This book was not for me, which is a shame. I would like to see more exploration of 'childfree by choice' without it becoming people bragging about how they have amazing lives while people who chose parenthood do not.