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A review by audhdylan
What to Say Next: Successful Communication in Work, Life, and Love--With Autism Spectrum Disorder by Sarah Nannery, Larry Nannery
3.0
What to say next... So that you're less of a nuisance to those around you?
This is a good resource, and I saw myself in a lot of the stories shared. The issue I have is that the book emphasizes a bunch of work autistic people need to do in order to be less of a bother to others. We wouldn't want to impose on an allistic person's existence by asking them to modify their behavior or communication. No, we carry all of that weight.
There's hardly a single true reference to advocating for your needs or demanding accessibility, just a guide for being meek and changing everything about yourself and your personality to accommodate people who don't make any effort to accommodate us.
I recognize that we're far from a world in which accessibility and nueroinclusivity are the norm. The bar is beneath the floor.
And yes, we will always have work to do to grow and improve our own lives as individuals. But does society not owe us ANY amount of effort? This book is like Masking 101, selling the reader on a coping mechanism many of us feel happier not doing.
Too many of the stories in this book went as far as explaining how someone's ignorance or disregard for the author's experience made her feel bad, defeated... she's ruminating and internalizing... Only to suggest ways to analyze and pick apart an allistic person's behavior and make endless mental notes for how to accommodate THEM in the future.
I wish we could have both conversations, but as someone who figured things out in his 30s, I already have to work hard to not harbor resentment for the many, many people who made my life harder or refused to see what I needed growing up. I have little energy anymore for bending over backwards to make allistic people feel better about themselves, running down my own battery doing it.
This is a good resource, and I saw myself in a lot of the stories shared. The issue I have is that the book emphasizes a bunch of work autistic people need to do in order to be less of a bother to others. We wouldn't want to impose on an allistic person's existence by asking them to modify their behavior or communication. No, we carry all of that weight.
There's hardly a single true reference to advocating for your needs or demanding accessibility, just a guide for being meek and changing everything about yourself and your personality to accommodate people who don't make any effort to accommodate us.
I recognize that we're far from a world in which accessibility and nueroinclusivity are the norm. The bar is beneath the floor.
And yes, we will always have work to do to grow and improve our own lives as individuals. But does society not owe us ANY amount of effort? This book is like Masking 101, selling the reader on a coping mechanism many of us feel happier not doing.
Too many of the stories in this book went as far as explaining how someone's ignorance or disregard for the author's experience made her feel bad, defeated... she's ruminating and internalizing... Only to suggest ways to analyze and pick apart an allistic person's behavior and make endless mental notes for how to accommodate THEM in the future.
I wish we could have both conversations, but as someone who figured things out in his 30s, I already have to work hard to not harbor resentment for the many, many people who made my life harder or refused to see what I needed growing up. I have little energy anymore for bending over backwards to make allistic people feel better about themselves, running down my own battery doing it.