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A review by slpugs
Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids by Meghan Daum
3.0
As with most essay type books, some of them were stronger than others.
The main reason I'm rating 3 stars is because of the troublesome trend with the female authored essays. I'd say about 95% of them take a page or a page to "save face" by talking about how much they absolutely love kids, being an aunt, working with children, etc etc etc. It came across as though their decision to be childless was only valid if they could prove to the reader that they aren't a complete societal pariah by still liking children.
As a woman who is childless by choice, let me just go ahead and say on behalf of all the women who don't actually like kids but feel they have to say they do for fear of being further chastised by society - I really don't like children. I didn't like children when I was a child and I like them even less at 30 years old. I have no patience for them. I don't want to work with them, hold new babies when asked, be the "super cool aunt who doesn't have any of her own kids but loves everyone else's", or spend any meaningful amount of time with any child. At all.
So yeah, I would have loved to see even one essay included from a woman who doesn't have kids and doesn't like them either. I'd like to see more visibility from this particular female experience but it seems most of us are still hiding for fear of being called cold hearted.
The main reason I'm rating 3 stars is because of the troublesome trend with the female authored essays. I'd say about 95% of them take a page or a page to "save face" by talking about how much they absolutely love kids, being an aunt, working with children, etc etc etc. It came across as though their decision to be childless was only valid if they could prove to the reader that they aren't a complete societal pariah by still liking children.
As a woman who is childless by choice, let me just go ahead and say on behalf of all the women who don't actually like kids but feel they have to say they do for fear of being further chastised by society - I really don't like children. I didn't like children when I was a child and I like them even less at 30 years old. I have no patience for them. I don't want to work with them, hold new babies when asked, be the "super cool aunt who doesn't have any of her own kids but loves everyone else's", or spend any meaningful amount of time with any child. At all.
So yeah, I would have loved to see even one essay included from a woman who doesn't have kids and doesn't like them either. I'd like to see more visibility from this particular female experience but it seems most of us are still hiding for fear of being called cold hearted.