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A review by mer_lovestoread2023
Spare by Prince Harry
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
sad
medium-paced
4.25
I wouldn't say I'm a Royal fanatic, by any means, but I remember vividly watching the marriage of Charles and Diana when I was in middle-school, being shocked by Diana's death twenty-some years later, and saddened to see history begin to repeat itself through the treatment of Meghan Markle by the press. I resisted reading Spare until a friend told me that his wife had disappeared for two days so she could finish reading (her kids were like, "Where's Mom?"). I had the same experience--while Spare has some issues, I found it a compulsive read. It's hard not to feel for Harry: a traumatized child, a young man struggling to find his purpose, and finally, a loyal Englishman who has to leave his country to start anew. It's an archetypal narrative in a way, as his quotes from Shakespeare throughout remind us.
It must be hard for a writer like Prince Harry to determine what he should reveal and what should remain private, given how visible his entire life has been to the press. Ironically, his only tool to fight against the press is to tell it all, with a level of intimacy that is at times, well, a bit uncomfortable. We learn about the "frostnip" of Harry's private parts, which led one friend to create a "cock cushion"; we learn about the V-shaped ermine thong he gave Kate Middleton as a wedding gift (psychoanalytic critics, take note). We learn about Meghan Markle's Instagram filters and her yoga practice. But so much here is genuinely sad: Harry's PTSD; his struggles with his brother and father; the hounding of Meghan Markle by the press, which led her to contemplate suicide; and the couple's excision from a family and a country that they seemingly wanted to serve. You feel for Harry in his wish to be a "normal" paterfamilias, if one with a high-grade security detail.
I was struck by Harry's note that he had been infantilized by his royal upbringing: he rarely carried keys, drove a car, or managed his own finances. This child who grew up far too soon was forced to remain a child in certain key ways, making "adulting" even more challenging. Harry and Meghan have money, talent, and connections, and their ability to push back on the forces that seek to undermine them is impressive. In the last pages of the memoir, Harry and Meghan create "Lili-land," a safe space for their daughter, who is named after her great-grandmother Elizabeth. Yet despite the couple's desire to protect their children, Lili-land can't last forever. I hope that Prince Harry's frank disclosure and willingness to battle with the demons of his past augur well for the next generation.
It must be hard for a writer like Prince Harry to determine what he should reveal and what should remain private, given how visible his entire life has been to the press. Ironically, his only tool to fight against the press is to tell it all, with a level of intimacy that is at times, well, a bit uncomfortable. We learn about the "frostnip" of Harry's private parts, which led one friend to create a "cock cushion"; we learn about the V-shaped ermine thong he gave Kate Middleton as a wedding gift (psychoanalytic critics, take note). We learn about Meghan Markle's Instagram filters and her yoga practice. But so much here is genuinely sad: Harry's PTSD; his struggles with his brother and father; the hounding of Meghan Markle by the press, which led her to contemplate suicide; and the couple's excision from a family and a country that they seemingly wanted to serve. You feel for Harry in his wish to be a "normal" paterfamilias, if one with a high-grade security detail.
I was struck by Harry's note that he had been infantilized by his royal upbringing: he rarely carried keys, drove a car, or managed his own finances. This child who grew up far too soon was forced to remain a child in certain key ways, making "adulting" even more challenging. Harry and Meghan have money, talent, and connections, and their ability to push back on the forces that seek to undermine them is impressive. In the last pages of the memoir, Harry and Meghan create "Lili-land," a safe space for their daughter, who is named after her great-grandmother Elizabeth. Yet despite the couple's desire to protect their children, Lili-land can't last forever. I hope that Prince Harry's frank disclosure and willingness to battle with the demons of his past augur well for the next generation.
Content Warnings
Minor: Racism, Death of parent, Addiction, and Suicidal thoughts