A review by santreads
Beyond the Gender Binary by Alok Vaid-Menon

informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.0

This short tiny book of 68 pages really packs in quite a punch and let’s you ruminate in some realness thanks to the effortlessly awesome prose and logic of Alok V Menon.

They tell us to “be ourselves,” but if you listen closely, there’s more to that sentence: “. . . until you make them uncomfortable.” Be yourself until you make them uncomfortable.

In this book Alok talks about their experiences being non binary in this world, what that means for them and how people react to this, their childhood and all the things that have been told to them. It shows you how society is just so rigid and honestly, idiotic.

At its heart, discrimination against gender non-conforming people happens because of a system that rewards conformity and not creativity. Rather than celebrating people who express themselves on their own terms, we repress them.

(Yes, I am giving up on trying to write well because I can’t after reading this book. Alok just writes so well.)

Now here’s the thing. I’m an ally. I follow a lot of non-binary people, Alok included, and I’ve heard these stories. I’m with them in their fight. So while I appreciated a lot of what Alok was saying, I wondered if I would get anything more from this other than the wonderful prose and insight into their life.

But then, BOOM.

Arguments about gender nonconforming people are about maintaining power and control. Most can be grouped into four categories: dismissal, inconvenience, biology, and the slippery slope. These are strategies that people use to make the gender binary seem like a given, not a decision.

And then they went into arguments we usually hear and may not have the data, the idea as to how to argue back. Brilliant. Also, as a person who has these doubts and these questions (you may not ask them out loud, but you might think them), it’s great to read these books and get them answered.

Who knows what the future holds? We should not hold ourselves back for the sake of convention. Instead, we should embrace ongoing transformation as a necessary part of what it means to be alive.

This book deserves to be read and listened to. It deserves to be discussed. It’s wonderfully written and conveyed. Would absolutely recommend to everyone trying to understand the subject, opposed to the subject or people who just want to be better allies.