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beefmellington 's review for:
The Hero and the Crown
by Robin McKinley
This book was...frustrating. I had decent hopes for it after reading part one which I'd give maybe just under 4. Aerin is quirky, she's clumsy, she's an underdog, like Jennifer Lawrence before we all got tired of it. This was written in the 80s and had a female protagonist so I could deal with the main character being a bit of a manic pixie dream girl who lives somehow in a Renaissance Faire set in England - but not.
Part two is such a let down and makes clear that Aerin is an empty vessel, someone who the story happens *to* not someone who has any agency over her life or destiny. In part one, she fights little dragons learning how to defeat them, experimenting with making herself fireproof, and then kills a big dragon...kind of by accident? Like a dragon who's skull went on to suck the soul out of an entire city. She got burnt half to death, laid in a river and this guy appeared to her (the only white woman in the story) and sent her some confusing dreams. Well, she then found this white guy (the only white guy in the story, do you see where I'm going with this?) by following her gut while dying and he's an asshole. He condescends to her constantly, asks why she didn't find him sooner, is just constantly up her ass about everything, while she's dying! And then makes her drink out of a magic lake without telling her it will make her immortal. He does not let her choose if she wants to die or live forever. They talk about a big price she has to pay for this choice she doesn't make but it doesn't become apparent what that is.
Then she has to go battle this story's Sauron, who literally nobody has heard of but is the root of all the demons in the land, who is also her uncle??? And also has the Heros Crown? A magical crown that would make her people invincible. So she kills her shitty uncle, and it takes her hundreds of years. Dream White Boy drags her back into the past again without telling her about it!!! And then is like "well I just time traveled you, but not all the way back, so now your people are besieged with a war that didn't even exist to you. I couldn't take you back a year more to save your dad from dying sorry babe" and then they just...fall in love. Like Aerin is so ambivalent to White Boy the whole time and she's like out of the blue in love with him. Fine. She's immortal he's immorta. I'm resigned.
But then! She goes back to her City to save her people, and even though she's the kings daughter she isn't going to be queen, because shes a woman, which everyone but Aerin wants to change so she can rule but she *stomps foot* doesn't want that. So her best guy friend is, who's also in love with her and who she's been completely neutral on the whole book. Anyway she leaves White Boy who she slept with and loves and is like crying the whole way home to dutifully marry her cousin best friend who she's apparently in love with but is like well when he dies I'll get to shack up with White Boy so win win for me.
So she fought Evil Uncle and took the Hero's Crown and refuses to wear it to end the battle outside of her City and instead ring tosses it from the end of her magic sword (that we never really figure out why there's sparks and flames coming out of it sometimes, and sometimes causes plants to grow?) Over a crowd of demons so her boy bestfriend who she's going to sadly marry because she must (she literally does not have to) catches it on his sword and is too dumb to put it on so she has to kill her way through the crowd to tell him to put the thing on.
I've also never before seen an author point to a plot hole, inform you to look at that plot hole, and then have her character go "well we aren't gonna get into all that." It was baffling and happened many many times.
Oh she also defeated her evil uncle by throwing a magic rock at him without knowing it was a magic wizard killing rock. Literally what was this book. I was going to give it 2 stars but got so angry writing this review it's gonna be a 1 for me.
Part two is such a let down and makes clear that Aerin is an empty vessel, someone who the story happens *to* not someone who has any agency over her life or destiny. In part one, she fights little dragons learning how to defeat them, experimenting with making herself fireproof, and then kills a big dragon...kind of by accident? Like a dragon who's skull went on to suck the soul out of an entire city. She got burnt half to death, laid in a river and this guy appeared to her (the only white woman in the story) and sent her some confusing dreams. Well, she then found this white guy (the only white guy in the story, do you see where I'm going with this?) by following her gut while dying and he's an asshole. He condescends to her constantly, asks why she didn't find him sooner, is just constantly up her ass about everything, while she's dying! And then makes her drink out of a magic lake without telling her it will make her immortal. He does not let her choose if she wants to die or live forever. They talk about a big price she has to pay for this choice she doesn't make but it doesn't become apparent what that is.
Then she has to go battle this story's Sauron, who literally nobody has heard of but is the root of all the demons in the land, who is also her uncle??? And also has the Heros Crown? A magical crown that would make her people invincible. So she kills her shitty uncle, and it takes her hundreds of years. Dream White Boy drags her back into the past again without telling her about it!!! And then is like "well I just time traveled you, but not all the way back, so now your people are besieged with a war that didn't even exist to you. I couldn't take you back a year more to save your dad from dying sorry babe" and then they just...fall in love. Like Aerin is so ambivalent to White Boy the whole time and she's like out of the blue in love with him. Fine. She's immortal he's immorta. I'm resigned.
But then! She goes back to her City to save her people, and even though she's the kings daughter she isn't going to be queen, because shes a woman, which everyone but Aerin wants to change so she can rule but she *stomps foot* doesn't want that. So her best guy friend is, who's also in love with her and who she's been completely neutral on the whole book. Anyway she leaves White Boy who she slept with and loves and is like crying the whole way home to dutifully marry her cousin best friend who she's apparently in love with but is like well when he dies I'll get to shack up with White Boy so win win for me.
So she fought Evil Uncle and took the Hero's Crown and refuses to wear it to end the battle outside of her City and instead ring tosses it from the end of her magic sword (that we never really figure out why there's sparks and flames coming out of it sometimes, and sometimes causes plants to grow?) Over a crowd of demons so her boy bestfriend who she's going to sadly marry because she must (she literally does not have to) catches it on his sword and is too dumb to put it on so she has to kill her way through the crowd to tell him to put the thing on.
I've also never before seen an author point to a plot hole, inform you to look at that plot hole, and then have her character go "well we aren't gonna get into all that." It was baffling and happened many many times.
Oh she also defeated her evil uncle by throwing a magic rock at him without knowing it was a magic wizard killing rock. Literally what was this book. I was going to give it 2 stars but got so angry writing this review it's gonna be a 1 for me.