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A review by kirkland433
The Heart Principle by Helen Hoang
emotional
hopeful
informative
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I've got a lot to say about this book and it's about to be a hot mess as I try to convey my feelings so please excuse this review. (My reviews are mostly for me at the end of the day anyways so its fine.) Also Trigger warnings: Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Toxic Family Relationships, Death of Parent, Suicidal thoughts... (covers most but always ask if you have something specific)
This story was just so much and not enough. Not enough in the sense that I wanted more. I didn't want it to end, even as I was crying throughout the second half of this book. You can't not feel while reading this book, especially if you have encountered any of the situations that Anna and Quan were thrown into. Both our main characters are relatable on some level for everyone. They felt so real to me that sometimes I saw Anna as a reflection of myself. Just so many emotions for this book.
I'm starting with Quan because he's the easy one. He's perfect. That's it. He is the example of what good people are. He has recovered from cancer but he is also trying to find himself again. Those kind of life things change you as a person and we got to see him struggle with that. But we also saw how caring and considerate he is for others. He never pushes, even when he doesn't understand someone elses thought process. He is supportive when people need him. He is self sacrificing for the ones he loves. He walks away from things when he knows hes too emotional to handle it so he doesn't hurt another person. I could go on and on. I love him.
Anna. Our frustratingly, sweet but also complicated heroine. Her life has been a struggle. Finding out she is on the autism spectrum late in life throws her for a loop, but it also helps her in eventually finding what she needs to care for herself in the end. The biggest thing that hit me was her relationship with her sister. It's terrible and toxic. Priscilla treats Anna like trash and does it in the name of family. "Only family will tell it to you like it is because we love you." No thank you. Anna's dependency on needing her family's love only makes it worse. WORSE STILL is that Priscilla scoffs at the fact that Anna is now going to therapy AND that there is no way that she is autistic. She goes as far as saying that she is taking away from people who actually are autistic. Fuck you Priscilla. But the thing that made me cry in happiness, Anna at the end performing for people she loves and Priscilla isn't there. When people aren't good for you its ok to cut them out EVEN if its "family". And this all hits home for me. It's all real. Asian families are big on respect and that family is family. I know this. Mine isn't as aggressive as that since we were a split household of half filipino/half white but it still existed. I've been to therapy since I was a freshman in high school for struggling with depression and anxiety of not fitting in, of my sister being the bully, of needing to be good enough so that people will just like me. At some point you realize, those people don't deserve you and you cut them out. For you. To protect you. And I love Anna for that.
BUT I will say, when Anna just let her entire family continue to walk over her, to the point of accepting a proposal that wasn't to Quan IN FRONT of Quan.... boy did I want to slap her. I know that she struggled and has her flaws but that one HURT. My heart broke for both of them even as I was just mad at Anna for even allowing that to happen.
The best part? That Anna wasn't automatically fixed once she started protecting herself. She spiraled, she struggled. And after two years, she is somewhere on the path to being a person she likes. I loved it. And Quan was there for her every step of the way. They found each other and it was perfect. This book was about love but also about Anna's journey. Hoang says this is pretty much her life story and I feel it with her. All the thumbs up for this book.
This story was just so much and not enough. Not enough in the sense that I wanted more. I didn't want it to end, even as I was crying throughout the second half of this book. You can't not feel while reading this book, especially if you have encountered any of the situations that Anna and Quan were thrown into. Both our main characters are relatable on some level for everyone. They felt so real to me that sometimes I saw Anna as a reflection of myself. Just so many emotions for this book.
I'm starting with Quan because he's the easy one. He's perfect. That's it. He is the example of what good people are. He has recovered from cancer but he is also trying to find himself again. Those kind of life things change you as a person and we got to see him struggle with that. But we also saw how caring and considerate he is for others. He never pushes, even when he doesn't understand someone elses thought process. He is supportive when people need him. He is self sacrificing for the ones he loves. He walks away from things when he knows hes too emotional to handle it so he doesn't hurt another person. I could go on and on. I love him.
Anna. Our frustratingly, sweet but also complicated heroine. Her life has been a struggle. Finding out she is on the autism spectrum late in life throws her for a loop, but it also helps her in eventually finding what she needs to care for herself in the end. The biggest thing that hit me was her relationship with her sister. It's terrible and toxic. Priscilla treats Anna like trash and does it in the name of family. "Only family will tell it to you like it is because we love you." No thank you. Anna's dependency on needing her family's love only makes it worse. WORSE STILL is that Priscilla scoffs at the fact that Anna is now going to therapy AND that there is no way that she is autistic. She goes as far as saying that she is taking away from people who actually are autistic. Fuck you Priscilla. But the thing that made me cry in happiness, Anna at the end performing for people she loves and Priscilla isn't there. When people aren't good for you its ok to cut them out EVEN if its "family". And this all hits home for me. It's all real. Asian families are big on respect and that family is family. I know this. Mine isn't as aggressive as that since we were a split household of half filipino/half white but it still existed. I've been to therapy since I was a freshman in high school for struggling with depression and anxiety of not fitting in, of my sister being the bully, of needing to be good enough so that people will just like me. At some point you realize, those people don't deserve you and you cut them out. For you. To protect you. And I love Anna for that.
BUT I will say, when Anna just let her entire family continue to walk over her, to the point of accepting a proposal that wasn't to Quan IN FRONT of Quan.... boy did I want to slap her. I know that she struggled and has her flaws but that one HURT. My heart broke for both of them even as I was just mad at Anna for even allowing that to happen.
The best part? That Anna wasn't automatically fixed once she started protecting herself. She spiraled, she struggled. And after two years, she is somewhere on the path to being a person she likes. I loved it. And Quan was there for her every step of the way. They found each other and it was perfect. This book was about love but also about Anna's journey. Hoang says this is pretty much her life story and I feel it with her. All the thumbs up for this book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Grief, Panic attacks/disorders, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Death of parent, Suicidal thoughts, and Terminal illness