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rachelhelps 's review for:
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High
by Kerry Patterson
I skipped the annoying self-satisfied introductions and forwards and it was still difficult to read the first few chapters. Once the material got more specific instead of just promising I would be awesome, it was good. However, it took almost half the book for it to get good.
I still would have liked their examples to have been more specific. We are social creatures and we learn through social modeling, i.e., watching others do things. I also found it annoying that they made up terms like "fool's choice" instead of using already-existing terms like "false dichotomy" (maybe they wanted to make it more approachable?). Other made-up terms were kind of annoying, but I recognize they were trying to make the ideas stick in my head.
The concepts in this book for opening up sincere dialogue are excellent. When someone else gets defensive, it's a sign that they don't feel safe in the conversation. I can help them feel safer by clarifying our common goals (if we have one) and accepting their opinion respectfully. Next time I get into a tense discussion I hope I can use some of these techniques. However, I tend to be the obliviously offending party so it's more likely that someone else will use these techniques on me.
I still would have liked their examples to have been more specific. We are social creatures and we learn through social modeling, i.e., watching others do things. I also found it annoying that they made up terms like "fool's choice" instead of using already-existing terms like "false dichotomy" (maybe they wanted to make it more approachable?). Other made-up terms were kind of annoying, but I recognize they were trying to make the ideas stick in my head.
The concepts in this book for opening up sincere dialogue are excellent. When someone else gets defensive, it's a sign that they don't feel safe in the conversation. I can help them feel safer by clarifying our common goals (if we have one) and accepting their opinion respectfully. Next time I get into a tense discussion I hope I can use some of these techniques. However, I tend to be the obliviously offending party so it's more likely that someone else will use these techniques on me.