A review by averyjcmie
Before Us by Jewel E. Ann

3.5

 i thought i liked it but the more it pondered on me the more the book gave me the ick, like the age gap as much as i didn’t want to make it a big deal it was and the times were she would refer to him like a father complex or her as “young” just didn’t feel right to me bc it made me realise every time the gap between them, also she is so young not knowing what love really means and her idealising him just makes me reference back to her point where she doesn’t know what true love means bc she puts him on this pedestal bc he’s older and it makes me think of those typical plots where the college students gets with the young professor or something either way the older presence and inappropriateness of it feels wrong, she’s hiding behind his shadow and pining after an older grieving man the more that lingered on me felt wrong as the book progressed bc it felt like in a way he was taking advantage of her youth bc she is younger than him by a lot and there is a blatant power struggle there and a lack of love experience, she is naive in a way towards her love for him, it just doesn’t feel right as i said i have the same feeling as i do when tv shows decide to do the college student-professor storyline. also it’s clear he doesn’t love her or want to love her in the way that she wants him too and that strong love she has for him is once again down to the age difference, her desire for maturity and stability, she idealises and idolises that, she’s in love with the idea of him, he also wants her to be suzie, he compares her to suzie which is natural bc he was married to suzie but it also sometimes feels like he’s looking for a suzie replacement and a distraction as opposed to seeing Emersyn, a person he can be in love with 

 

“And her feelings for me stem from not having a father in her life, never having a truly kind man in her life. She fell in love with the idea of me. I think she fell in love with Suzanne’s husband. And one day, she’ll wake up and realize she fell for the first guy who treated her well, not necessarily the right guy.” 

 

and that is how i feel 

 

the only reason it’s still 3.5 is bc some of the lines and writing is little too good like genuinely had me crying shaking throwing up feeling all emotions, some of them are embedded in me that’s how good it is and the heartbreak omg it’s a little tew good idk at times when he’s not actively being ignorant