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A review by readingwithrae
Know My Name by Chanel Miller
5.0
5 stars.
unless you were living under a rock in 2015 (or too young to pay attention to the news), the story of chanel miller's assault (then only known as alias emily doe) was everywhere. i'll never forget reading the gruesome details of her assault, picked apart, the media feasting vultures, digging into this woman's trauma for clicks and likes. i'll never forget the comments, people trying everything they could to excuse the "star swimmer" brock turner from fault, blaming alcohol, clothing, campus frat culture, anything but the elephant in the room, brock's own actions. i'll never forget being in my last semester at a christian college, and being so baffled that nobody was talking about the case when it was such a clear injustice, or if they did, it was in quiet, whispered behind closed dorm doors.
when turner was found guilty, i remember the feeling of relief that swelled through me. there was injustice in the world, but in this one instance, a jury got it right. brock was found guilty on all three counts... but that wasn't enough. being a privileged white boy from a powerful family turned a years-long sentence into six measly months, lowered to three for "good behavior." the outrage i felt, that my friends felt, at seeing the justice system fail so spectacularly only grew when chanel's victim statement was released. the pain and terror she went through, the scars that will never heal, the ptsd, all reduced to a slap on the wrist. after reading this book, i'm even more angry than i was five years ago. no person, regardless of gender, deserves to have their bodily autonomy desecrated. end of story.
this book should be required reading in all high schools. before we ship kids off to college, they should read through chanel's experience, revel in the pain and suffering she went through. health classes should discuss this, have actual conversations about consent and sexual assault. maybe, just maybe, if we focused more on teaching our kids that 'no means no' than complex math they'll never use again, our sexual assault rates wouldn't be so grossly high.
in the book, it is said that 1 in 4 women will be victims of sexual assault in their lifetime. 1 in 4. 25%. we say america is the greatest country in the world, but how can we be when injustices like chanel's slide by, exploding like a nebula, only to fade into the background when the next big injustice rolls around? how can we be when only a few days ago, a woman was raped openly on the subway, and not a single person came to her aid? this county has a sexual assault problem; chanel's story is only one in a million. if brock wasn't a stanford star, if her statement didn't go viral, she would just be another face in a sea of survivors, forgotten by time. but because of this book, because of her bravery going forward, a conversation has been sparked, and i hope it can shine a light on the dark culture of sexual assault, especially on college campuses.
i leave this review by saying this: i, thankfully, have never been a victim of sexual assault, but i have been a victim of unrelenting men, men who think it is my job to give them the time of day instead of doing my work, men who when told 'no' say "that's okay, i'll ask again later" (yes, this is a thing a coworker said to me a few years ago, and only stopped when HR got involved.) i've seen my closest friends catcalled on the street, been worried when they say they're going out on the town for a night. i'm terrified of being alone in the dark, have always avoided dating because all i see are tiktoks of men being terrible on the internet and getting mad when women call them out. in a text conversation with my best friend, we both admitted we could count the men we wholly trust on one hand. men, especially powerful white men, are the most dangerous threat to women out there, and yet we're the ones being constantly blamed for their actions. chanel had clear evidence that she'd been wronged, yet in court the defense constantly tried to shift the blame to her. "if you didn't wear that dress, if you weren't that drunk, if you didn't act so silly, if you were with your friends," on and on and on. never was brock completely blamed, it was always framed as partially chanel's fault for her actions that night. let it be clear, right here and now: clothing, level of intoxication, being out at night, are NEVER ACCEPTABLE REASONS TO RAPE SOMEONE. she wasn't "asking for it," she was just a twenty-something girl who wanted to spend time with her sister. she should've been able to get through that party without anyone touching her without her consent. the fact that in a court of law this fact was constantly diminished and debated is despicable.
i really hope that we can get to a future where chanel's case is an anomaly. i know that until that day comes, i will keep fighting, keep raising my voice, doing everything in my power to believe survivors. i only hope you will too.
unless you were living under a rock in 2015 (or too young to pay attention to the news), the story of chanel miller's assault (then only known as alias emily doe) was everywhere. i'll never forget reading the gruesome details of her assault, picked apart, the media feasting vultures, digging into this woman's trauma for clicks and likes. i'll never forget the comments, people trying everything they could to excuse the "star swimmer" brock turner from fault, blaming alcohol, clothing, campus frat culture, anything but the elephant in the room, brock's own actions. i'll never forget being in my last semester at a christian college, and being so baffled that nobody was talking about the case when it was such a clear injustice, or if they did, it was in quiet, whispered behind closed dorm doors.
when turner was found guilty, i remember the feeling of relief that swelled through me. there was injustice in the world, but in this one instance, a jury got it right. brock was found guilty on all three counts... but that wasn't enough. being a privileged white boy from a powerful family turned a years-long sentence into six measly months, lowered to three for "good behavior." the outrage i felt, that my friends felt, at seeing the justice system fail so spectacularly only grew when chanel's victim statement was released. the pain and terror she went through, the scars that will never heal, the ptsd, all reduced to a slap on the wrist. after reading this book, i'm even more angry than i was five years ago. no person, regardless of gender, deserves to have their bodily autonomy desecrated. end of story.
this book should be required reading in all high schools. before we ship kids off to college, they should read through chanel's experience, revel in the pain and suffering she went through. health classes should discuss this, have actual conversations about consent and sexual assault. maybe, just maybe, if we focused more on teaching our kids that 'no means no' than complex math they'll never use again, our sexual assault rates wouldn't be so grossly high.
in the book, it is said that 1 in 4 women will be victims of sexual assault in their lifetime. 1 in 4. 25%. we say america is the greatest country in the world, but how can we be when injustices like chanel's slide by, exploding like a nebula, only to fade into the background when the next big injustice rolls around? how can we be when only a few days ago, a woman was raped openly on the subway, and not a single person came to her aid? this county has a sexual assault problem; chanel's story is only one in a million. if brock wasn't a stanford star, if her statement didn't go viral, she would just be another face in a sea of survivors, forgotten by time. but because of this book, because of her bravery going forward, a conversation has been sparked, and i hope it can shine a light on the dark culture of sexual assault, especially on college campuses.
i leave this review by saying this: i, thankfully, have never been a victim of sexual assault, but i have been a victim of unrelenting men, men who think it is my job to give them the time of day instead of doing my work, men who when told 'no' say "that's okay, i'll ask again later" (yes, this is a thing a coworker said to me a few years ago, and only stopped when HR got involved.) i've seen my closest friends catcalled on the street, been worried when they say they're going out on the town for a night. i'm terrified of being alone in the dark, have always avoided dating because all i see are tiktoks of men being terrible on the internet and getting mad when women call them out. in a text conversation with my best friend, we both admitted we could count the men we wholly trust on one hand. men, especially powerful white men, are the most dangerous threat to women out there, and yet we're the ones being constantly blamed for their actions. chanel had clear evidence that she'd been wronged, yet in court the defense constantly tried to shift the blame to her. "if you didn't wear that dress, if you weren't that drunk, if you didn't act so silly, if you were with your friends," on and on and on. never was brock completely blamed, it was always framed as partially chanel's fault for her actions that night. let it be clear, right here and now: clothing, level of intoxication, being out at night, are NEVER ACCEPTABLE REASONS TO RAPE SOMEONE. she wasn't "asking for it," she was just a twenty-something girl who wanted to spend time with her sister. she should've been able to get through that party without anyone touching her without her consent. the fact that in a court of law this fact was constantly diminished and debated is despicable.
i really hope that we can get to a future where chanel's case is an anomaly. i know that until that day comes, i will keep fighting, keep raising my voice, doing everything in my power to believe survivors. i only hope you will too.