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emotional
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
4.8 stars!
i finished this book a week ago, but i was not mentally capable at the time to write a cohesive review without falling apart internally. two things: if GoodReads had a video feature, it would HATE to see my snotty eyed time lapse of me bawling my eyes out and staring at the ceiling coming & if you ever thought that the series could not get more heartbreaking, boy you’re in for a ride
with Iris playing in the background as i write (and it permanently being associated with joey and aofie), this book has left me feeling emotions i didn’t know humans could experience. let’s begin!!!
in this book, the timeline begins much earlier, giving us a much better context for joey. unlike binding and keeping 13, we get a much clearer view of what happens in the Lynch household from the perspective of joey, the father figure for shan, tadgh, ollie, and sean. if binding and keeping’s description of the house was too much, joey’s book sheds such a new and raw light. darren left when joey was just 12, making him the “man of the house”. and from that moment (and even times before), joey stepped into the role of a provider. it’s not surprising then that joey becomes a suicidal addict. with nothing to stay alive for except his siblings, his life is a mundane montage of getting high, working, getting beat up by his father, verbally abused by his mother, and protecting his siblings. reading his pain is a different type of hurt; you read a certain amount of joey’s addiction from shan’s perspective, but joey’s is beyond soul crushing. my poor, poor child. in this book, you also get a deeper hatred for teddy, Marie, and darren. teddy with his physical abuse, marie with her helplessness and verbal abuse, and darren’s abandonment left such a wound for my joey. joseph, joey the protecter despite all of this puts his siblings first; he slept outside of shan’s room for fear of what would happen to her, sean called him dada because he slept in joey’s room until he was two, and almost all the money he made was for his siblings and that deadbeat shit teddy. every time i read joey’s pov, i was so close to calling shane myself and getting on smth.
aofie is the exact opposite of joey. even though her family is not rich, she has never experienced the level of suffering and pain that joey has. yet, she has her own struggles too. her parents infidelity has led her to act as a doormat in her long term relationship with paul. nevertheless, her bubbly nature and compassion is what makes aofie such an incredible character.
together, joey and aofie are such a beautiful couple. they have such a natural dynamic. she was the best part of his day since he was 12 🥹 if that’s not true love, i don’t know what is. their relationship is so nuanced. he doesn’t know what it’s like to be loved, and she wants nothing more than love. he doesn’t know if he can fight for himself, but he will always fight for her. she defends him with her whole life.
their banter >>> he’s her bitch! i also love how he just gives into all her demands and she walks that man like a DOGGG. i love that they’re each other’s best friend (even if it took joey forever to admit it). and their kiss in the rain??? PERFECTION. truly, their banter was the only thing keeping me sane after crying my eyes out. they have only ever had eyes for each other. my Peter Pan and Wendy ❤️🩹. my favorite scene was when she dragged him out of shane’s house in the freezing cold. there was truly no extent that she wouldn’t go to if it meant joey was safe. he tried so damn hard to stay clean :( aofie is truly a saint; she loved him enough for the two of them. and even if joey didn’t know how to say he loved her, she was embedded into every fiber of his being.
ik some people feel as though they are toxic and that aofie didn’t want joey clean because he loved himself, but rather for her, but people forget such a big part of their story: joey had NO will to live. he is simply surviving. falling in love with aofie brought back a part of his humanity and self love. even if he began trying to live for her, it will (hopefully in redeeming 6) blossom into a will to live for himself. aofie may have been annoying and demanding to some, but joey truly needed that to set him straight. they compliment each other perfectly. now even if i wouldn’t get into a relationship with a joey, you can’t deny that aofie had such a strong love that even if it meant losing herself, it wouldn’t be a bother because she saved someone. their dynamic only works with them, and yk what, that’s fine because they’re mine.
i loved little tid bits of gibsie and johnny (i literally jumped for joy amid my tears) tony and edel are joey’s real parents. fuck paul. fuck bella twice over. the small moments of peace made everything worth it.
here are some of my favorite quotes :)
“you’re my favorite friend, with my favorite everything”
“in my head it was either die or get high”
“promise me you won’t give into the demons your father put in your head”
“you are jospeh, my brave, brave boy”
“he hit you. you don’t hit girls”
“he wasn’t violent by nature. he was violent bc he wasn’t nurtured at home”
“not Jesus. just Joey”
“nice legs”
“but don’t ever think that’s I don’t have feelings, because the only time I allow myself to feel anything is when im with you”
“you’re the only thing I stay awake for”
“she was my momentary escape from all the darkness”
“without her, I was nothing”