Review by gaybf - Portrait of an Eye: Three Novels

gaybf 's review for:

Portrait of an Eye: Three Novels by Kathy Acker

4.0

she's brain damage givingggg<3

"Life of the black tarantula"

I make my first mistake: I become too calm I identify too much with this man who stops me from starving. I become confused, I forget my ambition and the ambition becomes misplaced: I have clothes so I want more clothes; I think I can do what I want without fear of starvation so I order my lover around. I'm learning about lies.
I realize nothing else so that I will completely please whoever comes to me, whoever could be the only person who could give me pleasure. The oil runs from the pores of my skin, greases the skin of my beloved, the only person I now see, so that at night we slide over each other animals who live at the bottom of the deepest parts of the ocean.
People are unused to love because they don't go far enough. As far as possible, and father, into their intuited desires. And complete love, apart by nature from "time," does not meet complete love where, given consent, anything can happen and there's no such thing as strengths or weakness except as masks to be acted out.
The last time I'm home, my mother's giving me trouble: I'm selfish I'm insane I have to see a psychiatrist I should be dead etc. I tell her to stop bugging me, I've been having a hard time: I show her my wrists which I've cut up rather badly with razors trying to punish myself. She tells me not to talk about nasty things at the dinner table.
I take off my white man's undershirt low jeans which are starting to stink, I'm completely horny and there's no one to fuck I've been and am too insane to carry on a normal conversation anyway ("Would you like to fuck me?" "I'll love you and be your friend forever"),
Does the soul survive the body?
Yes.
Then love need not be physical.
Is our civilization near an end, or transformation?
Yes.
We have to consider the terror we are living through.

"I dreamt I was a nymphomaniac"

Although Peter is male, I don't regard his gender as a defect. Despite the event (fact) that he didn't choose his sex, I don't dislike men. They are, by nature or by societal conditioning, cruel, arrogant, selfish, proud, stupid, stubborn, unwilling to admit their stupidity, willing to be friends only with those people they deem lower than themselves such as women; but they can be taught to be otherwise. They have some good characteristics, though I can't at the moment think what these are.
...I see the murderer leaning against the bannister of the central staircase. Surrounded by my friends: he jumps to reach the next lower staircase to get away; he misses the staircase falls through the narrow opening between the central and the horizontal side staircase, through the next opening, through the next opening: as he falls his left hand grabs the hand of one of the girls: as she falls, her hand grabs another person's hand, etc. I watch the bodies of my friends fall smack! break against the metal stairs. I watch my friends die. I understand they want to die. I rush over to stop them: I convince them to stop. The rest of the people, about a third left, hold onto the bannisters as hard as they can.
Have Galmot's faithful friends, desiring to follow their beloved, secretly eaten his heart?
Or has the corrupt disgusting capitalist police misplaced his heart at the bottom of some drawer or dossier?
The heart, let us note, more than any other organ of the body, bears the marks the signs of poisoning.
We must find the heart! But can we ever find out heart? And in what state?
It's hard to believe the cops (i.e. Justice) are so stupid in San Francisco, they lose dead men's hearts...
Perhaps Justice wanted to lose Galmot's heart... Perhaps they wanted to cover up, just as in the Kennedy case, the so-called poisoning...
There're a few people I adore. I follow them around. If I'd fuck any of them, I'd explode.
Antin and Antin were told they would be informed of the committee's results.
David Antin and Blaise Antin have not received a summary of their respective disciplinary hearings.
Antin and Antin received the committee results which stated "Retain in a/c (adjustment center), review for possible release after February 1, 1972, depending on the climate of the institution." This sentence especially "the climate of the institution" in effect states that Antin and Antin are being held because of suspicion of agitation, not because of the charges filed against them. Antin and Antin thus are convicted of what California prisoners refer to as a "silent beef": an offense they're not charged with and not permitted to defend themselves against. The disciplinary committee is punishing Antin and Antin for something other prisoners might do in the future because Antin and Antin wrote a letter to State Legislators protesing conditions at Folsom Prison.

The adult life of toulouse lautrec

"Make sense," Fielding said. Tell the real story of your life. You alone can tell the truth!"
"I don't want to make any sense," I replied.
"Art:" I continue, "I'm so unbearably desirous needy I can't think about art. Who can think about art in this miserable city? I think about sex so much my art must be sex. I think about sex all the time, and I try to stop myself. I tell myself I have to be stronger. I'm alone. I should revel in my loneliness. I'm in pain. I should revel in my pain. I shouldn't want to be with another person so much. If I think about this miserable situation too much, I'll realize I'm about to kill myself."
The court sentences four of the anarchists to death.
The court sentences four of the anarchists to long prison terms.
During the appeal sessions, Albert Parsons speaks for eight hours. Samuel Fielden speaks for three. Schwab calls for "a state of society in which all human beings do right for the simple reason that it's right and hate wrong because it's wrong."
Lingg (a true terrorist who has manufactured bombs) expresses contempt for "your ORDER, your laws, your force-propped authority."
The court changes none of the death or prison sentences.
My friends Vincent, Paul, Theo're starving. I'm dying for lack of love.
Jimmy sees his father watching T.V. His father ... doesn't want to notice him. Jimmy can't leave: he can't let go of his father.
Being wet and dark with someone.
Being touched and being able to know the person will touch you again. Being in a cave you don't want to leave and don't have to leave. Being in a place in which you're able to be open and stupid and boring.
You're open and wet and your edges are rough and hurt. You remember that you've always been this: totally vulnerable. You don't want to forget who you are. Being with someone has made you remember that you're totally vulnerable.
Since ours isn't a welfare economy, America is not going socialist god forbid, it has become a war economy. The military market supports the largest single industry in the country today, providing more than 40 billion dollars in sales each year and involving in total over 20,000 firms. The industry is remarkably concentrated, with the 100 largest contractors receiving two-thirds of the total contract funds, and the top 25 receiving half these funds.
...Which raises the distinct probability of the emergence of new forms of authoritarian rule at home. We are on the road to what Bertram Gross has called "friendly fascism." Unlike its European predecessors, American fascism may not be marked by an "open terroristic dictatorship." The foundation of fascism has already been laid in the consolidation of political and economic power in incredibly few hands.