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A review by archaicrobin
Knock Knock, Open Wide by Neil Sharpson
adventurous
dark
funny
hopeful
mysterious
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.0
It started out with so much promise and the beginning of the book is vastly different from the rest. I found out this is because the story of Etain is actually an old Irish folktale that the author is retelling and using in his own story, which explains why that part is so good and the rest is a total mess.
The plot and storyline was confusing and lacked direction, like the author himself didn’t know what he wanted to write. Is this horror? Is this fantasy? Is this a retelling? Is this a sapphic YA romance? I don’t know and the author clearly doesn’t know either.
The characters were all unlikeable and unrealistic in my opinion, they were also all incredibly cringey with the most try hard dialogue I’ve read in a while. This made sense, when again I read the afterward and found out the author was a theater major. He should stick with that, because there are so many plot holes and lack of consistency or real depth in these characters that makes a poor novel. But some of his scenes I could tell he wrote with a scene for a play in mind.
The way he wrote the female characters as well was poor in my opinion. These were not strong women, these were a man’s idea of what a strong woman would be and we ended up with a cast of pixie dream girls. Also why did Etain suddenly turn into a completely different person and then at the end was like oh sorry my bad girl? The characters made no sense just like the story made no sense.
Nothing was explained, nothing was solved but the ending acted like it was. How did literally anything happen or work? And why? How? I still don’t even understand the deal at the beginning with the box? When NO ONE else makes a deal? Was that a one time thing? There was so much potential here but the author got carried away with a romance that honestly changed the entire genre of the book. You have a few chapters in the beginning and the end focused on the mystery and lore of this tv program, and then the majority of the book is this goofy, unrealistic sapphic romance with some random woman named Betty that never ends up being more than just Ashling’s girlfriend. Why did Betty move in with Ashling? That bothered me the ENTIRE novel. I have to break up with you because you’ll have to move in with me and my mom sucks. I’m sorry why does she have to move in with you at all? Explain that. Never explained we just turn the page and Betty has been living there for months. Just one example of the lack of flow and detail and common sense in this book, that really ruined my enjoyment of the narrrative.
Inconsistent and unrealistic characters, poor plot, plot holes, confusing storyline, lack of direction, and cringe ended up with a 1/5 for me. The synopsis detailed an entirely different book than what I got.
The plot and storyline was confusing and lacked direction, like the author himself didn’t know what he wanted to write. Is this horror? Is this fantasy? Is this a retelling? Is this a sapphic YA romance? I don’t know and the author clearly doesn’t know either.
The characters were all unlikeable and unrealistic in my opinion, they were also all incredibly cringey with the most try hard dialogue I’ve read in a while. This made sense, when again I read the afterward and found out the author was a theater major. He should stick with that, because there are so many plot holes and lack of consistency or real depth in these characters that makes a poor novel. But some of his scenes I could tell he wrote with a scene for a play in mind.
The way he wrote the female characters as well was poor in my opinion. These were not strong women, these were a man’s idea of what a strong woman would be and we ended up with a cast of pixie dream girls. Also why did Etain suddenly turn into a completely different person and then at the end was like oh sorry my bad girl? The characters made no sense just like the story made no sense.
Nothing was explained, nothing was solved but the ending acted like it was. How did literally anything happen or work? And why? How? I still don’t even understand the deal at the beginning with the box? When NO ONE else makes a deal? Was that a one time thing? There was so much potential here but the author got carried away with a romance that honestly changed the entire genre of the book. You have a few chapters in the beginning and the end focused on the mystery and lore of this tv program, and then the majority of the book is this goofy, unrealistic sapphic romance with some random woman named Betty that never ends up being more than just Ashling’s girlfriend. Why did Betty move in with Ashling? That bothered me the ENTIRE novel. I have to break up with you because you’ll have to move in with me and my mom sucks. I’m sorry why does she have to move in with you at all? Explain that. Never explained we just turn the page and Betty has been living there for months. Just one example of the lack of flow and detail and common sense in this book, that really ruined my enjoyment of the narrrative.
Inconsistent and unrealistic characters, poor plot, plot holes, confusing storyline, lack of direction, and cringe ended up with a 1/5 for me. The synopsis detailed an entirely different book than what I got.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Death, Emotional abuse, and Death of parent