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A review by smalltownbookmom
What Doesn't Kill You: A Life with Chronic Illness - Lessons from a Body in Revolt by Tessa Miller
5.0
This is one of the best books I've read about living with a chronic (and invisible) illness written by a young woman journalist who shares not only her personal experiences but also the insights she's gained researching and talking to various experts and other disabled or chronically ill people.
Miller details her struggles to get a Chron's disease diagnosis and the toll living with such a disease took on her mental, physical and emotional health. I loved the breadth of topics she covers, with chapters devoted to advocating for herself, grieving the life she thought she was going to have, the complicated relationship she had with her caregivers, especially her mother and drug-addicted boyfriend, workplace struggles, health insurance battles, the extra stress of having a chronic illness during the pandemic and various myths and misconceptions able-bodied people have about those living with chronic illness or disabilities.
She's a strong advocate for therapy and self-care which I found so important to hear someone voicing. There's far too much shame and stigmatization around chronic illnesses and disabilities, even for people who can mask them most of the time. What's worse is when such shame or self-hate can lead to social isolation, depression and suicidal ideation.
The book also does a really great job addressing the extra pressures put on caregivers, who take on so much unpaid labor for their loved ones that can result in anger, depression and resentment or cause extra strife when one romantic partner is dependent on the other.
This was a perfect read for me during Disability Pride Month to remind myself how lucky we have it in Canada and that living with a chronic illness or disability is nothing to be ashamed about. Great on audio read by the author and HIGHLY recommended, especially for fans of Sitting Pretty, Disfigured or Disability visibility.
Favorite quote:
"We do not exist just so able bodied people can feel better about themselves. We aren't brave for living our lives. We don't need to overcome obstacles, as the old trope goes, or exist on pedestals, to be worthy human beings. Inspirational isn't a compliment, it's a reduction of humanity. It implies that sick and disabled people need to do extraordinary good things for the consumption of able bodied viewers. And more dangerously, it puts the burden of exceptionalism on the disabled or ill individual rather than focusing on the societal, structural, governmental changes that would make life better for sick and disabled people."
Miller details her struggles to get a Chron's disease diagnosis and the toll living with such a disease took on her mental, physical and emotional health. I loved the breadth of topics she covers, with chapters devoted to advocating for herself, grieving the life she thought she was going to have, the complicated relationship she had with her caregivers, especially her mother and drug-addicted boyfriend, workplace struggles, health insurance battles, the extra stress of having a chronic illness during the pandemic and various myths and misconceptions able-bodied people have about those living with chronic illness or disabilities.
She's a strong advocate for therapy and self-care which I found so important to hear someone voicing. There's far too much shame and stigmatization around chronic illnesses and disabilities, even for people who can mask them most of the time. What's worse is when such shame or self-hate can lead to social isolation, depression and suicidal ideation.
The book also does a really great job addressing the extra pressures put on caregivers, who take on so much unpaid labor for their loved ones that can result in anger, depression and resentment or cause extra strife when one romantic partner is dependent on the other.
This was a perfect read for me during Disability Pride Month to remind myself how lucky we have it in Canada and that living with a chronic illness or disability is nothing to be ashamed about. Great on audio read by the author and HIGHLY recommended, especially for fans of Sitting Pretty, Disfigured or Disability visibility.
Favorite quote:
"We do not exist just so able bodied people can feel better about themselves. We aren't brave for living our lives. We don't need to overcome obstacles, as the old trope goes, or exist on pedestals, to be worthy human beings. Inspirational isn't a compliment, it's a reduction of humanity. It implies that sick and disabled people need to do extraordinary good things for the consumption of able bodied viewers. And more dangerously, it puts the burden of exceptionalism on the disabled or ill individual rather than focusing on the societal, structural, governmental changes that would make life better for sick and disabled people."