A review by purplepenning
The Secret Service of Tea and Treason by India Holton

adventurous emotional funny hopeful lighthearted medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? No

3.75

"You are a professional."
"Yes, ma'am," Alice said.
"You would never behave in a manner contrary to the agency's Code of Conduct."
"No, ma'am."
"Because this is a thriller, not a romance, isn't that so, Agent A?"
"Yes, ma'am."

The final thrillingly fantastical romantic farce in India Holton's Dangerous Damsels series is even more packed with literary (mis)quotes, (mis)adventures, and innuendo. And this time with two book-nerd protagonists — Alice (Agent A) and Bixby (Agent B) — who steal our hearts and have us instantly under the spells as if they were born to piracy or witchcraft instead of the secret service. 

“Reading is not a hobby,” she said. “It is a way of life.” He was silent a moment as he considered this, then he nodded in agreement." 

Alice and Bixby, two orphans who were (mis)educated  and molded into top agents, are clearly the heart of this story, but readers of the series will be happy to find that Cecilia and Ned, Charlotte and Alex, and the elderly piratical matriarchs all have significant roles here at the end — and at the end of the end in a surprisingly touching epilogue that champions female friendship and found family.

It's the middle of the story that lags a bit for me. Alice and Bixby's undercover attempts to find a weapon at a house party of pirates drags on a bit long for my tastes, though there are plenty of pirate shenanigans and (un)veiled sexual tension to keep most readers happy.

Besides Alice and Bixby's relationship (superb), the good-natured lampooning of the literary (always amusing), and the incorporation of past characters, the rambunctiously intelligent writing voice is what makes me a fan of these books. The Secret Service of Tea and Treason reaches Terry-Pratchett-levels of a sort of anthropocentric metaphoring that I never cease to find blazingly brilliant and absurdly amusing.

His brain ran around shouting urgent orders and waving red flags, trying to forestall an eruption of emotion he absolutely could not afford... And his heart, sighing in defeat, packed up all its wild and hungry longings and went to hide under a blanket.

Daniel and Alice exchanged a glance that didn't know whether to be amused or anxious, but that mostly wished it could go sit in a corner somewhere and read a book.

A laugh sounded... It was dry, brief; the kind of laugh that has eyes in the back of its head and just knows when you're about to do something stupid.    

As the silence lengthened, growing heavy with overtones, undertones, and implications, the air between them blushed, made up an excuse, and departed the room in awkward haste. 
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