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A review by storystruck
If You Still Recognize Me by Cynthia So
4.0
This summer, Elsie is finally going to confess her feelings to her longtime crush Ada who she met through fandom. She writes amazing fanfiction for Elsie’s OTP and gets Elsie like no one else. That is, until Joan, Elsie’s childhood best friend who stopped answering her emails after she moved away, walks back into her life as if she never left. Then Ada mentions her grandmother’s own long-lost pen pal and Elsie gets the idea for the perfect grand gesture.
If You Still Recognize Me is beyond sweet. I couldn’t stop smiling throughout. I absolutely loved the depiction of fandom. The importance of fanfiction - especially for those of marginalized identities - is stressed more than once and rings so true. While this novel does contain romance, it’s ultimately a story of personal growth rather than solely a love story which I found refreshing. The importance of family, of connection through food, of slowly accepting our family members’ queerness is center-stage. It’s made clear again and again that friendship is just as important as romance. That being said, the romance we do get is so swoon-worthy. Love friends-to-lovers? Look no further!
Some of the metaphors are so lovely, they stuck with me after I finished the book. For example: “...I should let them have their privacy. But even though I’m not watching it happen, I can feel it unfolding in the room. Like origami in reverse, a dainty crane magically unbecoming, every fold peeling back until it smooths out into one flat square of paper, pristine and unmarked, with limitless possibility” (346).
Throughout If You Still Recognize Me, Elsie thinks quite a bit about her gender presentation - if she only dresses so femininely because it’s what makes her family happy or if she genuinely enjoys it and I found this so relatable as a person questioning their gender and gender presentation.
It was great to see a depiction of “yellow fever”. Elsie’s ex-boyfriend fetishized her for being Asian and this is called out. We also learn that he would tell her how much pain it caused him if she didn’t agree to go further with him - be it kissing or sex. It’s stated that he was manipulative but I think it’s more than just manipulation - it’s emotional abuse. I would have liked for that to be acknowledged. Elsie is still processing her relationship so it makes sense that she doesn’t realize this but maybe another character could have pointed this out.
I didn’t give it five stars because it left me wanting more. It just felt like the story wasn’t quite as full as it could be. There was also a plot point that I would have liked to have seen go in a different direction.
All that being said, I’m very excited to see So grow as a writer and look forward to their future books!
If You Still Recognize Me is beyond sweet. I couldn’t stop smiling throughout. I absolutely loved the depiction of fandom. The importance of fanfiction - especially for those of marginalized identities - is stressed more than once and rings so true. While this novel does contain romance, it’s ultimately a story of personal growth rather than solely a love story which I found refreshing. The importance of family, of connection through food, of slowly accepting our family members’ queerness is center-stage. It’s made clear again and again that friendship is just as important as romance. That being said, the romance we do get is so swoon-worthy. Love friends-to-lovers? Look no further!
Some of the metaphors are so lovely, they stuck with me after I finished the book. For example: “...I should let them have their privacy. But even though I’m not watching it happen, I can feel it unfolding in the room. Like origami in reverse, a dainty crane magically unbecoming, every fold peeling back until it smooths out into one flat square of paper, pristine and unmarked, with limitless possibility” (346).
Throughout If You Still Recognize Me, Elsie thinks quite a bit about her gender presentation - if she only dresses so femininely because it’s what makes her family happy or if she genuinely enjoys it and I found this so relatable as a person questioning their gender and gender presentation.
It was great to see a depiction of “yellow fever”. Elsie’s ex-boyfriend fetishized her for being Asian and this is called out. We also learn that he would tell her how much pain it caused him if she didn’t agree to go further with him - be it kissing or sex. It’s stated that he was manipulative but I think it’s more than just manipulation - it’s emotional abuse. I would have liked for that to be acknowledged. Elsie is still processing her relationship so it makes sense that she doesn’t realize this but maybe another character could have pointed this out.
I didn’t give it five stars because it left me wanting more. It just felt like the story wasn’t quite as full as it could be. There was also a plot point that I would have liked to have seen go in a different direction.
All that being said, I’m very excited to see So grow as a writer and look forward to their future books!