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I wrote a review that Goodreads lost so that's nice.
I made a deal with a friend that I'd read this book if she'd watch the first season of Friday Night Lights. I hope you enjoy the show more than I enjoyed this book.
I will give this book a positive in it's world building. The background of the Fae and all that comes with that is kind of interesting. I was pretty intrigued about what else there was to come. The descriptions of the Unseelie were well done. The positives pretty much end there.
So Mac had to fly to Dublin to ID her sister's body as their parents were on a 21 day tropical island hopping cruise from Maui to Miami. However, it wasn't until her second trip that she chose to go see her sister's apartment and start packing it up. First of all, she and her family had no intention of going back, were they just going to leave all her things there to get thrown out?
Second A, the Mac we're introduced to would have gone there her first trip. She would have been ALL over that place.
Second B, during Mac's first trip to Dublin, she didn't run into anything out of the ordinary?
Third, are we meant to believe that Mac dealt with all there was to deal with in terms of sending her sister's body back to the US? She's two fries short of a happy meal on a good day, I don't see her handling any of that without her parents. And if her parents went to Dublin, they couldn't go to the apartment?
Fourth, Mac's parents were 100% against Mac going to Dublin to Sherlock her sister's death. But she was set on going anyways. If the major concern was she was going to die, why not go with her?
Fifth, what was Mac's plan in regards to getting the detectives on her sister's case? She decided she was going before she heard the voicemails. What was her grand plan beforehand?
Sixth, there is no way Mac would have been without her cell phone for as long as she was. Wasn't it over a month? She flew to Dublin to ID the body with no phone to keep in touch with her parents who would obviously be trying to stay in contact with her?
Seventh, what kind of awful cruise is her parents on? Logistically it makes no sense. The starting cities for cruises are often from cities that are easy and cheap to get to. A cruise starting from Maui requires buying tickets to Maui which makes the cruise pretty damn expensive at that point. And then 21 days to Miami? It's like one of those awful Chinese bus tours that gives you an hour at each location and then herds you back onto the bus.
Mac is a vapid character who lacks common sense. There is just something particularly irritating about a character who leaves the US to another English speaking country and then complains about the way they speak. She spends a great deal of this book talking about her clothing, makeup, hair, accessories, and describing all the "gorgeous" men with the same amount of vigor. When it comes to things that matter, we're told she doesn't want to bore us with the details. I feel like if you can describe people and clothing like this:
...the short pink silk skirt I was wearing today with a clingy pearly top, and shimmery gold sandals, flattered by just the right heel to show off my golden, toned legs. A polished pearl-drop necklace swung between my full breasts, matching earrings and a pearl bracelet at my wrist gave me just the right look of youthful glam. My Arabian Night curls were soft around my face...
or
He wore an elegant, dark gray Italian suit, a crisp white shirt, and a muted patterned tie. He wasn’t handsome. That was too calm a word. He was intensely masculine. He was sexual. He attracted. There was an omnipresent carnality about him, in his dark eyes, in his full mouth, in the way he stood. He was the kind of man I wouldn’t flirt with in a million years.
You can describe in detail your sister's death scene. It would add depth to the book.
Her main characterization seems to come from the fact that she is in fact not Barbie.
I was blonde, easy on the eyes, and guys had been snapping my bra strap since seventh grade, I’d been putting up with the Barbie stereotype for years. That pink was my favorite color, that I liked matching accessories and eye-catching heels, didn’t help much. But I’d never been turned on by the Ken doll.... How fascinating. She keeps telling the reader that she is distraught over her sister's death. But it comes off more like she's some special snowflake who needs you know she is upset about her sister. There is more description about nailpolish and clothing than anything that truly lets the reader know about her close relationship with her sister.
Of course she undergoes a massive transformation by the end of the book. Except there's no training involved, nothing deep, nothing earned. It's actually a physical change that makes her an all new person. A better author can make this a subtle change. Maybe a metaphor of some sort. Or you can have this:
The Mac who’d followed a woman’s outflung arm into an urban wasteland that day had been wearing a killer outfit of pink linen, low-hipped, wide-legged capris, a silk-trimmed pink T, her favorite silver sandals, and matching silver accessories. She’d had long, beautiful blonde hair swept up into a high ponytail that brushed the middle of her back with the spring of each youthful step. This Mac had shoulder-length black hair: the better for hiding from those monsters hunting Mac Version 1.0. This Mac wore black jeans and a black T-shirt: the better for potentially being bled upon. Concealing her Iceberry Pink manicured toenails were tennis shoes: the better for running for her life in. Her drab outfit was finished off with an oversized black jacket she’d swiped from a coat hook by the front door as she’d left: the better for concealing the foot-long spearhead tucked into the waistband of her jeans (tip stuck in a wad of foil), the only silver accessorizing this carefully selected ensemble.
Barrons, the main male character is a cookie cutter cutout of every abusive asshole male character that is supposed to come off as dark, mysterious, brooding, and beautiful. He's both mentally and physically abusive on top of being a dick. That's really all there is to his characterization. He takes Mac out to kill her first Unseelie without giving her training or tips on what to do even though he kind of thinks she's as dumb as the reader does. When she ends up in a precarious situation where she could maybe die, he starts lecturing her and mocking her. Dude, we know she's dumb, but you dropped her off to play quarterback in the Superbowl without explaining the rules of football.
The two of them are constantly hiding things from each other when they don't need to. On top of that, Mac ignore basically all useful advice in keeping herself safe.
The narration style of the book is a bit irksome. Aside from the prologue, the book takes place the previous year. However at times, Mac takes on an omniscient narrator voice and says things like "later I would learn that..." or "I didn't understand that night but I would later". It takes you right out of the story.
The book also just sort of ends. The end of the book felt like what should be the middle of other books.
I'm sure I'm missing things that I had in my first review. I'm told the books get better, but I don't think I'll be reading them.
I made a deal with a friend that I'd read this book if she'd watch the first season of Friday Night Lights. I hope you enjoy the show more than I enjoyed this book.
I will give this book a positive in it's world building. The background of the Fae and all that comes with that is kind of interesting. I was pretty intrigued about what else there was to come. The descriptions of the Unseelie were well done. The positives pretty much end there.
So Mac had to fly to Dublin to ID her sister's body as their parents were on a 21 day tropical island hopping cruise from Maui to Miami. However, it wasn't until her second trip that she chose to go see her sister's apartment and start packing it up. First of all, she and her family had no intention of going back, were they just going to leave all her things there to get thrown out?
Second A, the Mac we're introduced to would have gone there her first trip. She would have been ALL over that place.
Second B, during Mac's first trip to Dublin, she didn't run into anything out of the ordinary?
Third, are we meant to believe that Mac dealt with all there was to deal with in terms of sending her sister's body back to the US? She's two fries short of a happy meal on a good day, I don't see her handling any of that without her parents. And if her parents went to Dublin, they couldn't go to the apartment?
Fourth, Mac's parents were 100% against Mac going to Dublin to Sherlock her sister's death. But she was set on going anyways. If the major concern was she was going to die, why not go with her?
Fifth, what was Mac's plan in regards to getting the detectives on her sister's case? She decided she was going before she heard the voicemails. What was her grand plan beforehand?
Sixth, there is no way Mac would have been without her cell phone for as long as she was. Wasn't it over a month? She flew to Dublin to ID the body with no phone to keep in touch with her parents who would obviously be trying to stay in contact with her?
Seventh, what kind of awful cruise is her parents on? Logistically it makes no sense. The starting cities for cruises are often from cities that are easy and cheap to get to. A cruise starting from Maui requires buying tickets to Maui which makes the cruise pretty damn expensive at that point. And then 21 days to Miami? It's like one of those awful Chinese bus tours that gives you an hour at each location and then herds you back onto the bus.
Mac is a vapid character who lacks common sense. There is just something particularly irritating about a character who leaves the US to another English speaking country and then complains about the way they speak. She spends a great deal of this book talking about her clothing, makeup, hair, accessories, and describing all the "gorgeous" men with the same amount of vigor. When it comes to things that matter, we're told she doesn't want to bore us with the details. I feel like if you can describe people and clothing like this:
...the short pink silk skirt I was wearing today with a clingy pearly top, and shimmery gold sandals, flattered by just the right heel to show off my golden, toned legs. A polished pearl-drop necklace swung between my full breasts, matching earrings and a pearl bracelet at my wrist gave me just the right look of youthful glam. My Arabian Night curls were soft around my face...
or
He wore an elegant, dark gray Italian suit, a crisp white shirt, and a muted patterned tie. He wasn’t handsome. That was too calm a word. He was intensely masculine. He was sexual. He attracted. There was an omnipresent carnality about him, in his dark eyes, in his full mouth, in the way he stood. He was the kind of man I wouldn’t flirt with in a million years.
You can describe in detail your sister's death scene. It would add depth to the book.
Her main characterization seems to come from the fact that she is in fact not Barbie.
I was blonde, easy on the eyes, and guys had been snapping my bra strap since seventh grade, I’d been putting up with the Barbie stereotype for years. That pink was my favorite color, that I liked matching accessories and eye-catching heels, didn’t help much. But I’d never been turned on by the Ken doll.... How fascinating. She keeps telling the reader that she is distraught over her sister's death. But it comes off more like she's some special snowflake who needs you know she is upset about her sister. There is more description about nailpolish and clothing than anything that truly lets the reader know about her close relationship with her sister.
Of course she undergoes a massive transformation by the end of the book. Except there's no training involved, nothing deep, nothing earned. It's actually a physical change that makes her an all new person. A better author can make this a subtle change. Maybe a metaphor of some sort. Or you can have this:
The Mac who’d followed a woman’s outflung arm into an urban wasteland that day had been wearing a killer outfit of pink linen, low-hipped, wide-legged capris, a silk-trimmed pink T, her favorite silver sandals, and matching silver accessories. She’d had long, beautiful blonde hair swept up into a high ponytail that brushed the middle of her back with the spring of each youthful step. This Mac had shoulder-length black hair: the better for hiding from those monsters hunting Mac Version 1.0. This Mac wore black jeans and a black T-shirt: the better for potentially being bled upon. Concealing her Iceberry Pink manicured toenails were tennis shoes: the better for running for her life in. Her drab outfit was finished off with an oversized black jacket she’d swiped from a coat hook by the front door as she’d left: the better for concealing the foot-long spearhead tucked into the waistband of her jeans (tip stuck in a wad of foil), the only silver accessorizing this carefully selected ensemble.
Barrons, the main male character is a cookie cutter cutout of every abusive asshole male character that is supposed to come off as dark, mysterious, brooding, and beautiful. He's both mentally and physically abusive on top of being a dick. That's really all there is to his characterization. He takes Mac out to kill her first Unseelie without giving her training or tips on what to do even though he kind of thinks she's as dumb as the reader does. When she ends up in a precarious situation where she could maybe die, he starts lecturing her and mocking her. Dude, we know she's dumb, but you dropped her off to play quarterback in the Superbowl without explaining the rules of football.
The two of them are constantly hiding things from each other when they don't need to. On top of that, Mac ignore basically all useful advice in keeping herself safe.
The narration style of the book is a bit irksome. Aside from the prologue, the book takes place the previous year. However at times, Mac takes on an omniscient narrator voice and says things like "later I would learn that..." or "I didn't understand that night but I would later". It takes you right out of the story.
The book also just sort of ends. The end of the book felt like what should be the middle of other books.
I'm sure I'm missing things that I had in my first review. I'm told the books get better, but I don't think I'll be reading them.