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A review by emquartz15
In Memoriam by Alice Winn
adventurous
dark
emotional
funny
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
He thought perhaps all the pain would sour the love, but instead it drew him further in, as if he were Marc Antony, falling on his own sword. And it was a magical thing, to love someone so much; it was a feeling so strange and slippery, like a sheath of fabric cut from the sky. (115)
I’m still struggling to collect my thoughts about this book. I’ll start by saying this: I ugly cried at least three solid times in the twelve days it took me to read it. I completely fell for the characters and their story. I felt, and feel, utterly broken thinking about my queer ancestors and what they had to go through. I feel like I know Gaunt and Ellwood on a deeply personal level after reading this book. I was in awe of their arcs, the way they both complemented and opposed each other so beautifully and painfully.
The language and attitudes around war injuries/disability was a bit discouraging (examples: the word “disfiguring” used in a very negative context, the “how will anyone find them attractive again” trope), but I understand these are most truthfully the attitudes of the real life versions of the characters at the time, and there was some positivity interwoven. So I’ll take it. But if this bothers you, take note.
The last thing I’ll say is this: although I don’t regret reading this book, I think it taught me that books set during times of war are not for me. It was extremely graphic and extremely heartbreaking. I'm properly haunted, and thoroughly wrecked, especially because I'm made of 1000% pure emotion. I appreciate it for what it taught me and made me feel so deeply, but man, maybe I can only handle, like, one a year. I savored the moments it made me laugh out loud. In Memoriam is understandably likened to The Song of Achilles, but because of the realness of the setting, it was much much harder for me to stomach, and moved me in a more heavy, painstaking way (especially being queer in this world myself). So again, proceed with caution there.
Breathtaking writing from Winn, and I’ll add that she is a pleasure to talk to. I got to meet her and see her talk at the Montclair State Literary Festival last year. She was very funny and kind, and offered encouraging words, writer to writer. Definitely will be staying tuned to her future works.
I’m still struggling to collect my thoughts about this book. I’ll start by saying this: I ugly cried at least three solid times in the twelve days it took me to read it. I completely fell for the characters and their story. I felt, and feel, utterly broken thinking about my queer ancestors and what they had to go through. I feel like I know Gaunt and Ellwood on a deeply personal level after reading this book. I was in awe of their arcs, the way they both complemented and opposed each other so beautifully and painfully.
The language and attitudes around war injuries/disability was a bit discouraging (examples: the word “disfiguring” used in a very negative context, the “how will anyone find them attractive again” trope), but I understand these are most truthfully the attitudes of the real life versions of the characters at the time, and there was some positivity interwoven. So I’ll take it. But if this bothers you, take note.
The last thing I’ll say is this: although I don’t regret reading this book, I think it taught me that books set during times of war are not for me. It was extremely graphic and extremely heartbreaking. I'm properly haunted, and thoroughly wrecked, especially because I'm made of 1000% pure emotion. I appreciate it for what it taught me and made me feel so deeply, but man, maybe I can only handle, like, one a year. I savored the moments it made me laugh out loud. In Memoriam is understandably likened to The Song of Achilles, but because of the realness of the setting, it was much much harder for me to stomach, and moved me in a more heavy, painstaking way (especially being queer in this world myself). So again, proceed with caution there.
Breathtaking writing from Winn, and I’ll add that she is a pleasure to talk to. I got to meet her and see her talk at the Montclair State Literary Festival last year. She was very funny and kind, and offered encouraging words, writer to writer. Definitely will be staying tuned to her future works.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gore, Homophobia, Violence, and War