A review by amy_in_the_city
Only When It's Us by Chloe Liese

medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

Well, I really thought I'd love this one, but I had so many issues with it. 

First, this was trying to be enemies to lovers, but there was no good reason to be enemies in the first place or for them to hold on to their antagonistic relationship for so long. They jumped straight to enemies just because he didn't hear her say one thing and she didn't know he was deaf. Even after she found out that he wasn't deliberately ignoring her, she still considered him a "frenemy" (this word was used way too much). The main characters frequently acted like they were 10 years old, at one point even throwing elbows and pulling ponytails in class. 

I especially didn't like Willa. She completely lost me after she
ghosted Ryder for 2 months after her mom died, not even acknowledging his presence when he showed up to try to comfort her. This had real negative effects on Ryder, and it bothered me that she didn't seem to care about his feelings at all. Then once she came back to him, she was so upset that other women were taking an interest in him that he decided to let her look through his phone so she would know he wasn't cheating on her. Who needs boundaries, right?
For the whole third act, she was so wishy washy about the relationship, and I felt like Ryder was doing all the work to keep the relationship alive. I spent most of the last section wishing they wouldn't end up together because their relationship seemed so unhealthy. With Willa being so flighty and with them demonstrating an unwillingness to face their problems together as partners, I don't trust that they will have a good relationship going forward. Even towards the very end of the book, she still got upset with him for asking her very basic questions about herself because she didn't want to open up to him at all.

I liked that there was disability rep, with a leading man who is deaf, but I kind of felt like the book treated the deafness as an obstacle to overcome before the romantic relationship really could get going. There was a lot of importance placed on him hearing her voice and on getting him to start speaking again. I do appreciate that the author took feedback from reviews after the book was originally published, made some changes, and released an edited edition to try to fix some of the representation issues, but I think some of the bones of the old issues remain. I am not part of the Deaf community, so I am not an expert on how the representation was handled, but others who are Deaf have posted their reviews, and I encourage people to read those for more insight.

This gets an extra star for Ryder. He's mostly a really great guy, and I really liked him. 

I think this book also ruined the word "lumberjack" for me forever. I've reached my lifetime quota and might never want to see the word again.

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