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A review by booksnailmail
In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
In the Dream House: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
A book for pandemic soul searchers: I feel like days roll out endlessly in all four cardinal directions, tracing latitudes until they eventually meet again at the bottom of the Earth. Maybe this rock bottom is where “normal life” can restart. I couldn’t have read In the Dream House at a better time, as Machado's narrative echoed my current headspace.
What is the Dream House? As Machado's long distance relationship with the blonde woman gets closer (both relationship and distance), there is a shift: subtle at first, then gaining momentum. The woman brings a rage into the house that is a violation of safety and self-esteem. Machado is in an abusive relationship she can’t let go of. The Dream House, it turns out, is a metaphor for her body and mind.
Machado recounts this tumultuous time period in her life with fervor and purpose. This is NOT your everyday memoir. It breaks boundaries in multiple ways - first, the experimental writing style. In fact, there is even a mindf*ck “choose your own adventure” section. Second, the first of its kind to depict abuse in a queer relationship. This is why I cling to the copy on my shelf. As a queer, latinx, and self-identified large woman, Machado has been proving over and over that she is intelligent and worthy. That she deserves what she has earned. So, if she is so successful and intelligent, then how could this happen? How could a wisp of a woman be her abuser? And haven’t queer people been fighting for the right to love forever? It seems unimaginable go abuse in a relationship thus earned, right?
Tackling these questions head on, Machado is candid with her struggle to want to represent queer relationships with humanity, which means showing the ugliness of humanity. I hate to use the word heartbreaking to describe this. Yes, abuse is heartbreaking, but this memoir is about strength. It is the strength in believing your own story. The strength is moving forward from abuse that society, sometimes even your own community, wants to hide. This book exists at the intersection of protecting queer relationships and protecting domestic abuse survivors. Machado paves the way.
A book for pandemic soul searchers: I feel like days roll out endlessly in all four cardinal directions, tracing latitudes until they eventually meet again at the bottom of the Earth. Maybe this rock bottom is where “normal life” can restart. I couldn’t have read In the Dream House at a better time, as Machado's narrative echoed my current headspace.
What is the Dream House? As Machado's long distance relationship with the blonde woman gets closer (both relationship and distance), there is a shift: subtle at first, then gaining momentum. The woman brings a rage into the house that is a violation of safety and self-esteem. Machado is in an abusive relationship she can’t let go of. The Dream House, it turns out, is a metaphor for her body and mind.
Machado recounts this tumultuous time period in her life with fervor and purpose. This is NOT your everyday memoir. It breaks boundaries in multiple ways - first, the experimental writing style. In fact, there is even a mindf*ck “choose your own adventure” section. Second, the first of its kind to depict abuse in a queer relationship. This is why I cling to the copy on my shelf. As a queer, latinx, and self-identified large woman, Machado has been proving over and over that she is intelligent and worthy. That she deserves what she has earned. So, if she is so successful and intelligent, then how could this happen? How could a wisp of a woman be her abuser? And haven’t queer people been fighting for the right to love forever? It seems unimaginable go abuse in a relationship thus earned, right?
Tackling these questions head on, Machado is candid with her struggle to want to represent queer relationships with humanity, which means showing the ugliness of humanity. I hate to use the word heartbreaking to describe this. Yes, abuse is heartbreaking, but this memoir is about strength. It is the strength in believing your own story. The strength is moving forward from abuse that society, sometimes even your own community, wants to hide. This book exists at the intersection of protecting queer relationships and protecting domestic abuse survivors. Machado paves the way.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Alcoholism, Violence, Toxic relationship, Physical abuse, Mental illness, Infidelity, Emotional abuse, Domestic abuse, and Body shaming