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A review by aj_franklin
The Girl Who Smiled Beads: A Story of War and What Comes After by Clemantine Wamariya
4.0
A few months ago, I started growing my collection of ebooks. Upon looking through the books I had already read, I realized that I was reading a lot of the same types of books from the same types of authors. Weirdly enough, these authors were usually white, straight men. I am a black queer woman...So, naturally I decided that I needed to diversify and quickly. I searched up a bunch of authors from different backgrounds, sexualities, genders, etc. All the fun categories. Then I found books by them. I didn't read the synopses to see what they were about. My only qualification was that it had to have a rating of 4 stars or higher for me to add it to my collection.
All this to say, that I had no idea what this book was about before I started reading. The french title is "La fille au sourire de perles" so no, I didn't see the "A Story of War and What Comes After". I thought it might be a cute coming of age story. I was wholly unprepared for everything that happened after opening that book. It felt like I had just been tossed into this dark world of despair, tragedy, and hopelessness without any warning. But, I feel like that's almost what Clemantine Wamariya wanted. For the readers to feel a sense of confusion and disorientation when reading her memoir, because that's what she herself felt. Jumping back and forth through time, no set locations to trace a cohesive journey, it all contributed to the insanity that was war.
I was curious to see how she planned on ending the memoir. She's still a young woman (I looked her up several times while reading this because it felt so unreal) so it's not like her life is anywhere near complete. I knew I probably wouldn't get a happily ever after. Not after everything that had happened. However, when the ending finally did come, I cried. Not because it was any sadder than the other parts of the memoir, but because it hit me that I was right. No one really got their happy ending. I wasn't aware I was doing it, but while I was reading I kept anticipating the break. The point where the family would break down and cry together before retrieving their lost connection like in a movie. It was such a childish hope. So stupid and simplistic. Especially considering everything that I had read. I didn't even realize I was harbouring it until I was confronted with those last story-like pages that lacked an ending. So yes, I cried. Because Clemantine Wamariya showed me the far-reaching, long-term effects of genocide and war and terror when all I wanted was an interesting read.
Anyway, no regrets. I'm very glad I decided to add this to my collection. It isn't something I would've read otherwise. Now, I'm not going to say this book deeply changed me, because I'm always very suspicious of people who say that (I'm cynical, tragically). But I will say this book gave me perspective, and that is an important thing to have. Especially when you're privileged enough to live in a country where you will probably never have to face any of this. So thank you for sharing the pieces of your story Clemantine Wamariya. I deeply appreciated the journey.
All this to say, that I had no idea what this book was about before I started reading. The french title is "La fille au sourire de perles" so no, I didn't see the "A Story of War and What Comes After". I thought it might be a cute coming of age story. I was wholly unprepared for everything that happened after opening that book. It felt like I had just been tossed into this dark world of despair, tragedy, and hopelessness without any warning. But, I feel like that's almost what Clemantine Wamariya wanted. For the readers to feel a sense of confusion and disorientation when reading her memoir, because that's what she herself felt. Jumping back and forth through time, no set locations to trace a cohesive journey, it all contributed to the insanity that was war.
I was curious to see how she planned on ending the memoir. She's still a young woman (I looked her up several times while reading this because it felt so unreal) so it's not like her life is anywhere near complete. I knew I probably wouldn't get a happily ever after. Not after everything that had happened. However, when the ending finally did come, I cried. Not because it was any sadder than the other parts of the memoir, but because it hit me that I was right. No one really got their happy ending. I wasn't aware I was doing it, but while I was reading I kept anticipating the break. The point where the family would break down and cry together before retrieving their lost connection like in a movie. It was such a childish hope. So stupid and simplistic. Especially considering everything that I had read. I didn't even realize I was harbouring it until I was confronted with those last story-like pages that lacked an ending. So yes, I cried. Because Clemantine Wamariya showed me the far-reaching, long-term effects of genocide and war and terror when all I wanted was an interesting read.
Anyway, no regrets. I'm very glad I decided to add this to my collection. It isn't something I would've read otherwise. Now, I'm not going to say this book deeply changed me, because I'm always very suspicious of people who say that (I'm cynical, tragically). But I will say this book gave me perspective, and that is an important thing to have. Especially when you're privileged enough to live in a country where you will probably never have to face any of this. So thank you for sharing the pieces of your story Clemantine Wamariya. I deeply appreciated the journey.